Friday, September 18, 2009

Welcome Me To The Club

It has finally happened. We knew it would. We have expected it for some time. We are being investigated by DFCS. They have spoken to the elementary kids at school and called me after. I am sure my little ones are freaking out since that is where they have been removed from time after time. A total of 5 times in their short lives. I am confident it came from the neighbor bus driver. She spoke with the other drivers about us and they asked my children the situation at home. Someone was concerned enough abut my son that they felt they had to call. I know they are trying to protect him and do not understand that I actually need the protection from that sweet and adorable boy. It is heartbreaking and not over. I will update when it is appropriate.

Thank you Lisa. You helped me get my mind straight instead of just standing there freaking out. You are one of the dearest people I have ever met. I am proud to call you my friend.

I wasn't speaking to any of my regular readers when I vented about someone stalking me here. I love that so many of you find comfort or are educated here. Many of you are families just like ours. I was only speaking of my family that I am estranged from that peek in here looking for all the bad stuff. They want to see if we are divorcing and such. They aren't reading my blog in order or even the current events, They are looking for the gossip.

17 comments:

Jensboys said...

Goody Goody. Well its only a matter of time, isnt it? It has happened to us all. Hugs and prayers for a quick resolution.

SocialWrkr24/7 said...

My prayer are with you - I know how difficult investigations can be for everyone.

Lisa said...

Muuuuwah! Right back atcha!
I've emailed you the letter. If you want me to write you one too just let me know. (I'd need a list of diagnoses.) :)

motherissues said...

Ugh, I'm sorry. I hope things are sorted out soon with minimal negative effects on your kids (and obviously you too!)

Karaya said...

My prayers with your family. Going through a similar situation here, it is not a fun place to be.

Hope it all works out in the end.

FosterAbba said...

I'm sorry that you have to go through a CPS investigation on top of all the other stuff you have to go through.

Hang in there...

I wish I had something better to suggest.

Melissa said...

Welcome to the club!!! I've been investigated twice. The first time thanks to my oldest daughters scumbag bio father(he is a very bad man), and the second time thanks to my husbands lunatic ex-wife. everything came out alright in the end, but it is horrifying and can really get under your skin. I don't have any sound advice because I FREAKED when CPS called me....you needn't worry, you have done nothing wrong and they will see that. Good luck and I'll be thinking of you.

Carmine Crayon said...

I am so sorry... you were worried about this. I thought it would be one of the kids that might "claim" something - not an adult suspecting something. That's just sad. I'll pray for you guys.

Innocent Observer said...

Oh man, what a major bummer. They say it's not if, but when. Are they satisfied after speaking with the children at school?

Sorry I haven't been in touch...in my head we talk all the time! haha

Leah (ddwife from a.com) said...

Hang in there. Sorry this is happening. :(

Cindy said...

I've FREAKED too at times, it's a miserably difficult experience.

Jensboys said...

You know, it makes me want to address those "professionals" that deal with our kids in different situations than we do. PLEASE teachers, spec ed workers, bus drivers and well intentioned neighbours, understand that our kids deal with BIG stuff. BIG STUFF. Spend some time reading about how kids with these diagnosis behave, interact, and react to parents.

We usually already have a TEAM of professionals support our families. We have gone through extensive testing, approval and supervision for years. WE love our kids despite of, or because of, everything we have been through.

Instead of retraumatizing kids with an investigation, why dont you talk to us? Ask. Learn. Read. Take a damm breath and actually listen.

R - thinking of you and all the kids.

Tudu said...

Jensboys, that's exactly what I have asked the school to do. I received the cold shoulder from someone that has been wonderfully understanding in the past there. It seems no one is willing to take a step back and think before they react.

Jeri said...

Oh yeah, been there,done that...twice. First time, my son and a girl (adopted from Kazakhstan with her brother)were having what I call a "pissing" (sorry) contest about who has had it worse. He didn't want her to win because she and her brother had been molested by their new brothers in their new family. Kids had been removed to a grandparent's home in another town while family went through extensive counseling. I also think both kids had FAS,so lots of issues. My son decides to one-up her by saying he'd had sex with his 15 year old cousin that he'd never,ever been alone with and 9 year old sister who would knock the crap out of him if he so much as touched her(he was 7). Girl goes home, Mom calls CPS and let the games begin. Fortunately, we'd had extensive experience with attachment therapist and with his input, case was closed after interviewing all four in my family. Son,"why don't they believe me when I tell them I lied?" Duh, how long have we talked about the boy who cried wolf?
Last year, he hit himself with a belt (actually jerked it out of my hand and it smacked his leg)...went to school and told his teacher that I was waving it around like a bullwhip, hitting him with the buckle end...problem was, the mark was shaped like the other end. Again, investigated. We're all interviewed. Social worker told us," I'd suggest resources for you to look into but you're already looked into them. I don't know how you two are still standing!"
As long as you have documentation and get their therapist involved, you will be fine. I hear your concern for the other children in the post. You guys aren't in Missouri are you? Wondering about the juvenile detention program featured on ABC Primetime Crime...excellent program, so different than the norm. More like RTC that works. Hang in there and you might consider making your blog password protected to shut out the nosy relatives.

FosteringDreams said...

Given all the situations you've described along the way, I'm almost surprised it took this long to come. But, I'm sorry nonetheless. I hope that your regular contact with other professionals who know how much you do to help your children will see you quickly through this.

zunzun said...

Damn scary...stay strong.

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Yikes - so sorry to hear...hang in there. At our annual foster parent appreciation dinner last summer there was a point when they were talking about new policies for investigations and asked for a show of hands who had ever been invesitigated...I was shocked to see how many of us wind up on the other side of the system - risking home and reputaions for a lousy $15.00 a day!!!!! YIKES.