Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Stress is Getting to Him

Michael went off on me about an hour ago. I asked him to drop a dirty wash cloth he had been using down the clothes chute. He ignored me intentionally and went to the laundry room directly. Eddie was down there waiting for me to finish showering and Michael was supposed to go to his room to wait. The boys are not allowed any alone time. It is very clear. He was trying to provoke me. I followed him and sent him to his room. He flipped out. He began screaming he hates me and starting kicking me. I hollered at Eddie to open his door for a witness. Ella soon came running after she heard him scream, "I'm gonna beat the crap out of you!". Ruthie wasn't far behind. I asked them to stay calm b/c they started to get angry and wanted to defend me. A few minutes of his screaming and then I hollered out in pain. He had managed to bite my forearm very hard. I pushed my arm into his mouth and got it free. It wasn't my only injury. My left wrist had a sharp pain and was throbbing. I barley held on until Patches got the video camera going. He threatened to go limp when it was turned on. He did. I was able to let go even though he was calling me horrible names and making threats. He plans on telling the SW I beat him. If she doesn't "put me in jail" he will tell his teacher b/c she likes him, or the police. Once the camera is on, he is like a dead man. He won't move. I kept talking to the other kids, trying to keep Ruthie from slipping away. She did an amazing job and kept letting me know she was OK. When I tried to get up and put pressure on my hand, it gave way. The pain seemed to get a bit better as long as I didn't move it. The second I squeeze anything(a remote, hold a brush, squeeze toothpaste out) the pain comes back full force with a sharp one that leads to more throbbing. I will not be able to hold him in a basket hold. I am not sure I can take him down. Once there, I could manage. This is a real problem. Without my left hand, we are all in danger.

The second the camera went off, he became the sweet child we see most of the time. He was kind and worried about what he had done. He laid his head against my chest and and kinda snuggled in. How do they switch so fast? At least we caught the screaming curse words on film this time. I am going out of my way to protect us by videoing the rages, documenting the events, and photos of the marks he makes on me and the ones he doesn't have. It's about all I can do.

My DH is almost done. For the first time today, he stated he has to go into RTC. He is seeing so much more since he is home with us. I think we should wait until after the trial. I believe things will settle down when his emotions aren't so high. For now, we just need to protect ourselves.

Oh, one more thing. Their parents are being araigned today for the 3 new charges that the Grand Jury added last week.


FosterAbba said...

RTC is a tough decision, but I think when parents are dealing with extreme violence, it's often an appropriate (though agonizing) choice.

Michelle said...

What is RTC?

I hope your arm heals quickly for all of your sakes. A one armed mom would be difficult for anyone...for you it would seem to be an impossible situation. I'm sure you'll figure out a way always do!

Leah (ddwife from said...

Hard, hard decision. I hope the right decision will be very clear to both of you. As always, I think you are an amazing mom.

Tudu said...

Residential Treatment Center. It is long term hospitalization.

FosteringDreams said...

Have you managed to get a doctor to look at your wrist? What you describe sounds like it could be bad.

I hope you're right that the emotions of the trial are what's making this all so bad.