Michael has been receiving special ed services at school through the Significantly Developmentally Delayed eligibility. At 9, they must do testing and find an accurate one for them. It is a catch all for most kids to get services. So I went to meet with them and see what they could come up with. They used his private Psychological Evaluation and did some additional testing of their own. He will now receive services through Specific Learning Disability eligibility. He will be spending some time in the Resource Room as well as continue to have a special ed teacher co teach with a reg ed teacher in the classroom. They added Math to his list of needs and he will continue with Speech for an hour a week.
I am fine with it all. I tried to keep in mind that they see a different child. They see the child I would love to know. I hear all about how cooperative he is for them. It hurts. I want a child that sits quietly and does what he is asked. It feels like people judge me based on how different he is for them. I know to them it looks like it is me. They explained they had a Psychologist speak with him and he showed no signs of any disturbances. They don't say a word about it being my imagination, perhaps it is my paranoia. I feel judged. As much training as I have received, as much as I am and have been watched in our home, I still look like an idiot to the untrained eye. It hurts my feelings, deeply. It is not their fault. The other professionals in our lives say the nicest things, they trust my judgement, my skills, and are amazed at how far they have all come. They understand and explain why this is happening. He was removed from his parents numerous times from school. He was abused at home. Where would you behave? The school only sees that I am the one that has the difficult child so it must be me. I made sure they did what they thought was best for him this time with no real input from me. Only they know that child. Nothing I say about my child could help them with theirs.