Bad afternoon. It started bad and just keeps on giving. Michael came in looking for a fight. He shoved Alyssa so she shoved him back. Crazy boy ran and told me she hurt him. I knew better and quickly discovered he started it. Too bad. He went off on me when I asked him to load the dishwasher with Ruthie to make amends for the incident at the store Sunday. He got in my face and yelled he already did a chore to make up for it while Ruthie curled up on the floor and pretended to sob. Eventually long after I left the room, they did it. I asked the kids to be sure their rooms were clean so they didn't have to do it in the morning. Michael went looking for a fight and was asked to stay away from the girls b/c he was calling them names. He waited until I walked away and entered their room. I heard screams from my bathroom and ran in to find Ruthie hurt on the floor and him standing over her. Since she is prone to being dramatic, I had to ask what happened. He shoved another child on her and knocked the wind out of her. I grabbed a hold of his shirt and started helping him out of the room he wasn't supposed to be in. He tripped over a shoe b/c he was so busy trying to stay in the room. Of course, this is my fault. After he calmed for about 10 minutes in his room, I went in to talk to him. He growled at me and Kiera ran in and climbed on his bed. I walked across the room to pick her up and get her out. He went off on me, screaming I'm not allowed on his bed. I picked her up and he ran to block me from leaving his room. I touched his shoulder with 3 fingers to get him out of my way. He screamed threw his body at me and fell to the floor somehow b/c I didn't touch him. He took this opportunity to kick with both feet and punch with both hands. I hollered for Patches to come get the baby before she was injured b/c it seemed tat was his goal at that point. When she came,, I flipped him over and held him to the ground where he began screaming that I had punched him. At first, I had no idea what the heck he was talking about and then I realized he meant when I tried to get past him and leave the room. He is so delusional. He really thinks I punched him. I made Ella stay and witness the rest of the restraint for my protection. I can't trust him anymore. He continued to try to hit, kick, bite, and scratch me for about 20 minutes. At one point he yelled, "The man with the beard told me not to tell you when they come so I don't!". I was able to trick him in to telling me he is still hallucinating but had stopped confiding in me. He is slipping further away from me. I know his time in our home has a limit. I can't keep him and the kids safe forever. It will be very hard to admit that but I have taken the first step in coming to terms with it.
I guess the little chat that the secretary at school had made lots of difference. LOL