Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Hanging in There

Overall, it was a good afternoon. Their anxiety is definitely up but they are behaving very well. Any minor issues we have had turn to tears instantly. Ella is wetting daily for the first time in 2 + yrs and can't sleep so she is chewing Melatonin at night to help. We go tomorrow to see the courthouse and meet with the D.A.

I spoke briefly with the Deputy at the middle school and warned her of the possibility of media involvement. I really don't think it will come to that b/c they are minor children. It turns out that our case is not normal b/c the children were adopted and out of the system before the investigation began. DFCS didn't have any part of this and even tried to stop it. Legally, the children that were violated no longer exist.

We have been asked by numerous professionals involved in our situation if we have considered suing DFCS for their obvious neglect and endangerment of our children while they were in their custody. I am not one for suing. I do fell these children were wronged by the system over and over. Many of their problems came from their parents but so many more were from DFCS dropping the ball. They knew their father had been accused of raping his sisters, his sisters were in care when they began investigating him for neglecting his own children. They are the only ones that had this information about him and ignored that the children were extremely sexualized. Even denied every hearing about it when a former foster mother insisted she had reported it numerous times. They insisted this family was perfect for an open relationship "we have never had a better family for that possibility". They were involved with DFCS for 7 yrs when they were adopted. It is heartbreaking. If I thought it would make a difference to the kids or other children, I would. I am not convinced we could win against them even though they dropped the ball so many times.

Patches refused to go outside and meet her bus b/c she kept seeing a black cat pacing on our porch. Fore her, it's not that the cat is scary, it's that she is not sure if it is real. If it was real, she would go out. Because she fears it is not, she is afraid. She said she closed her eyes and it went away for a minute, then it came back. She rarely trusts me about the hallucinations anymore. I have stopped trying to make her understand they are not real, I learned quickly that wasn't the way to go. Instead, I try to help her understand that they can't hurt her and I will keep her safe. I walked her out and told the bus driver what was happening and she could expect this to happen a lot over the coming weeks. I called the school and reminded them to give her her meds if she became anxious over the hallucinations. They seem to really be on the ball.

4 comments:

The Bus Driver said...

DFCS is a joke. They consistently try to put children back in situations they have no business being in, so when the child returns time and time again.. its the same old song and dance.

I wish there was a way i could help you. I suggest contacting your local CASA (court appointed special advocates) office for any resources they might have available to you.

growinguplost said...

Sounds about normal for the system (ignoring things). It's sad, but true. My caseworker DROPPED the sexual abuse charges against my dad claiming I made them up. Despite there being a doctors report that showed from scarring I had been sexually abused starting around the age of 4 or 5.

jwg said...

So I guess the secretary isn't giving out the meds any more? Or have you beaten her into submission with logic and superior intellect and a big stick? What's happening with the absences?

zunzun said...

Most of the time I don't know what to say...just glad those kids have you now.