Monday, September 07, 2009

He Ran Away...Again

It is becoming a habit that I do not care for. Now he has involved our very kind neighbors. He is so small and can turn on the pity for people fast. They were worried he was lost or that we were looking for him. I was very angry when I saw him. It had been 30 minutes since he left and a lot can happen in 30 minutes. He also left screaming he hated me and was going to tell the police so he could live somewhere else. That always freaks me out b/c I have done nothing wrong but they are so good at lying and denying it til their death. It is crazy how he convinces himself that the lie is the truth. Like when he screamed I punched him this weekend. I would never even come close to punching one of them yet he seemed to really believe what he was saying.

I am tired of it. I am trying really hard but not sure how this will end. Patches had a bad evening. I thin she is going to have to wear a helmet during her awake hours. She is head banging to make me mad and it is really hard. I've tried to ignore it but it is really too hard to ignore. She has to be doing damage. She also threw a sweater and it hit the baby. Not funny. The baby had no idea and I went off when she claimed "the kids need to stay away when I am mad". I always try to keep them away but she slipped in. I waited until she was calm and explained that SHE is the one that needs to be aware of the others.

Ava was a bit off today, too. I figure she was jealous that Ella, Alyssa, ans Emma spent the night out. She was mean to them. Oh well, she can't be trusted out of my sight so I can't let her spend the night out.


Wendy said...

With all of the diagnosis' and medical issues is there any way you can qualify for a home health aid that might be trained in mental health issues? I know you can handle them, but it might be good to have someone to watch your back and take care of the other kids while you deal with the out-of-control at the moment child. Even just for a couple of hours after school each day? I'm worried about you!

Tudu said...

We have tried and they do not offer that service in our area for our needs. Crazy, huh?

Lisa said...

Do you think your son's perception of reality is distorted or that he is maliciously trying out stories to see what will get him sympathy? I ask because I have a 15 yo son who has gone as far as going to school (after kissing me goodbye and saying I love you before school) and announcing that he would not be going home because his dad and I are beating him/starving him, etc. CPS became involved and the worker said that the allegations he was making made no sense whatsoever and his story kept changing, but that she thought that he truly believed what he was saying. He would not actually 'fess up to the lies, in fact, he kept stating over and over that he "just needed to tell the truth because it was the right thing to do", however, he did keep adding more and more to the story in ways that were just nonsensical. It makes me cringe when he screams at me how he's going to tell anyone who will listen that I abuse him because he wants out of our home. I know I haven't done anything to him - I also know that it won't matter once he find that] one well- meaning, albeit misguided, person to listen to him (how do they always find these people to believe their crazy lies?) and there we'll go again. If they are convincing themselves these lies are true, there has to be something more we can do to protect ourselves and our families from being torn apart by false allegations. What if he started saying that one of the other kids was abusing him and cps took the other kids because of that? We are living a scary life.