Thursday, September 24, 2009

Getting It Over

I called the SW and left a message with directions on how to reach my house from the interstate. We can now come and go with a few extra turns. I think it is safe to assume she will show up unannounced any time. She seems really nice so I hope she is in person, as well. At this point, I do not have any concerns that this will go farther. I am concerned that it has given my son power. He is controlling us. I have tried to deescalate the situation but in a rage last night, he screamed he wasn't going to tell her the truth. It was a moment that made me glad we have adopted so many children. He can't get away with this. We are debating about a consequence for causing all this. We had hoped the investigation itself would be the consequence but it is turning out not to be as effective as we hoped. I do not think we will come up with anything further but it is tempting. He is and has been forced to stay within my line of sight. Every chance he has been giving has backfired. HE is mean to the kids and seems focused on irritating Patches so she will attack him. The entire time, acting like the victim. He can be such a little turd when he wants to. He is so charming and can manage a tear at just the right moment. None of us fall for it but I can see why others do. He is adorable and lays on the baby talk thick. That side of him has been what helped me love him. He has such a sweetness about him, at times.

Not much else to report. The kids are out of school until Monday. Cyr has abandoned us for her friend. My DH is having stomach pains so severe that he is threatening to go to the hospital. Kids are stir crazy from lack of entertainment and I really need to get out of the house.


FosterAbba said...

Oftentimes when the authorities get involved it actually makes the kid feel empowered to do even worse. My kid certainly bragged after the police were called to our house on account of her behavior.

Lisa said...

My son also was very empowered by cps coming over. The first time it happened, I think he was a little intimidated and he told the truth. Then, after he'd been hospitalized and learned a few things from the other teens, he laid it on thick with everyone he came into contact with. He had the same set scenario every time. If one allegation didn't get someone's attention, he went on to the next one. When the second investigation happened, he lied like crazy (literally crazy lying) - thankfully, we had the same cps worker who saw right through it. What I've noticed is that his allegations correlate exactly with what he's doing to others. If he's calling his sibs names, he accuses us of doing it to him. When he refuses to do his chores, he accuses us of working him to death, etc. It is so frustrating for us. He "might" be starting to get it because his allegations have been getting him nowhere lately (but there's always a new audience somewhere) but the more he repeats these things, the more I believe he believes them. Also, if a child can look you in the face and tell you he's going to say/do things to get YOU into trouble, well that is just plain malicious. I understand they don't realize what the consequences of these allegations/threats will be - I get that, but there has to be something else we can do. My son would benefit from an RTC, but not any of the ones we have here in MI. I can see him learning even worse things there and coming home to victimize all of us all over again.