Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Suspended for 3 Days for Fighting
Cyr first came to us with a very flat affect. It was scary. She never laughed or became angry. She was just blah. She let her siblings run over her and barely complained. She has been victimized by many in her short life and didn't have the strength to stand up for herself physically....until today.
Last night, she asked me if I would be mad if she got into a fight at school. A girl had just texted her that she was going to "beat her ass" in the morning. She claimed to have no idea what she had done to this girl, they were friends just hours before. I was pretty confident it would blow over so I suggested she not do anything to the girl. If she was hit, defend herself. Shame on me for not being more clear. I should have said, "Do not let her continue to attack you. Get out of her way, if possible. Try to work things out with words." What she heard was, "If she hits you, you have my permission to beat the heck out of her until an adult pulls you apart." My mistake.
She got to school this morning and the girl came right up to her in the Cafe. The girl was screaming at her and Cyr told her that she wouldn't start it but she would finish it if she was attacked. The girl slapped her across the face and it was on. Cyr let out all her pent up anger on this unsuspecting girl. It sent her into a frenzy when the girl kicked her, like her brother does. She wouldn't stop hitting her until several adults pulled her off and then she refused to let go of her hair, pulling some of it out. She said there was a lot of hooting and hollering in the background but she doesn't know what was said. Eventually, she was taken to the office and I was called. She was under the impression she would get 1 day of in school suspension. She was quite surprised when she received 3 days of out of school suspension for the violence she showed towards this girl.
How do you teach them to not fight when you are so proud they actually did? I know she won't go around beating kids up but I don't want her to be puffing up her chest at any little conflict either. I didn't give her any additional consequences other than, she can't text her friends during school hours and if I heard her brag even a tiny bit about it, she would lose her phone for 3 days. She is really upset about being kicked out for any length of time. She loves school (boys). This child has never been remotely aggressive, ever. I'm a bit surprised she actually followed through with it. Am I being too easy?