Ruthie had a full blown "I hate you, your not my real Mother. F@#* you B#$^%!" moment or several moments in the Burger King Play area last night. It followed her to the van where she proceed to kick and hit my van refusing to wear a belt and then refusing to allow it to lay across her in defiance of her safety. She insisted on screaming in her room for a full 2 hours while we ate a picnic in the Living Room watching the move Enchanted. Sounds like a good time? I actually was proud of her. I purposefully didn't remind her not to hurt herself or any of the other usual choices I give her when she is going off and she CHOSE to just scream. Nothing was hurt or damaged. Huge progress as far as I am concerned. The fits and raging don't really bother me, maybe if it is in public but other that that I just tune it out until it is quiet and then I check. It drives my DH insane, he barely controls himself when they become violent or out of control. Maybe I am just used to it, sad thought. What did upset me about this one is she blamed her parents for her poor behavior. This is unacceptable. It did escalate her when I insisted she was responsible for her actions. This morning we discussed how important it is for her to accept responsibility for her actions and how hard of a lesson that is to learn, not even her parents have learned it but I know she can and will.
She was blamed by her parents as the reason they were taken the last time. She has a great deal of guilt from this and is working on it in AT right now. She was very ill and instead of taking her to the doctor or hospital he went to DFCS and told them his wife ran away and took the medicaid cards so he wanted them to do something about it. Turned out several kids were very ill and needed medical attention due to extremely high fevers and dehydration. They were taken in custody for the last time. He still blames Ruthie for this b/c she was the sickest, how does this make sense? He has even blamed her for being the one to bring false allegations of sexual abuse against him. I reminded her she doesn't like how this feels so don't be like that. I hope it sinks in. It's hard to tell what she understands and what she just repeats. Such a beautiful child with such a huge burden.
Since she refused to eat last night she was starving when she woke up and has eaten almost her weight in grapes.
About Me
- Tudu
- Deep South, United States
- I am the mother of 10 children, 6 are part of a large sibling group we adopted through foster care in 2006, 2 are our grown foster daughters, 2 are from independent infant adoptions in 2001 and 2008. Every one of them have their own issues to work through from Schizo-Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, ADHD, and Cerebral Palsy. Most of our children have been victims of sexual abuse by a close family member, most acted out sexually or exhibited predatory behaviors. We are currently trying to figure out where the trauma ends and mental illness begins in each of their lives.
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