Friday, March 21, 2008

The House and The Hunts

The front of the house is nothing special, heck the inside is nothing special. It is VERY clean and has everything we need in a house except the kitchen is the size of a closet. We have added 4 huge shelves in the dining room to hold everything b/c there are only a few cabinets.

The property is difficult to capture on film, these do not do it justice. I took one of the wooded area, it goes as far as you can see and is about 2 acres of it. The kids are having a ball with it. The other is of the grassy area, again about 2 acres. They are riding their bikes around and around the yard, between the random trees you see in the front. The back deck is huge, it has a tree in the middle of it. I didn't post another picture of the cool barn but it makes this place a "farm" as far as the kids are concerned.

So far I have only unpacked the Playroom and the kids' rooms. The kitchen is empty and we have tons of half empty boxes in the dining room. My room is horrible, it is filled with lots of big plastic tubs waiting to be unpacked and put in the dressers. Laundry is getting behind b/c the vent to the dryer goes under the house and it is taking twice as long to dry anything. I had my DH check it and it is not clogged.

I survived the Egg Hunts today. Ava's teacher and Room Mom approached me to ask if there was anything they could do for me. They offered me a chair and acted weird until they asked me why I wasn't using my "chair". Ava has convinced them I need a wheelchair and am having my legs cut off b/c they hurt. I LOL. I explained I have bad hips and SOME DAY will need hip replacement and will be in a wheelchair briefly while I recover. I guess Ava misunderstood what was going on with my hips. More likely she embellished a bit when she got some attention for it. I warned them if they hear and "stories" to let me know, I would be happy to clear things up for them. She hid her face when she was caught.

Michael was avoiding me for the most part at school. He was withdrawn and quiet, it made me sad. It reminded me he is still not socially fitting in and the way he acted towards me was very obviously different than the other children towards their parents.

Ella is an expert on getting others to do things for her. She had Brooklyn searching for her eggs while she waited. Talk about lazy and manipulating, she cracks me up. She, too, tended to spend the time with her teacher or alone instead of with Brooklyn or I.

Ava is so darn clingy around others. It feels like she has to prove something, feels very fake but everyone else commented on how much she loves her Mom. It made me want to throw up. Once her bag was full of eggs she was gone to be with her teacher and ignored me, my job was done. None of those 3 even acknowledged me when I tried to hug them goodbye.

Emma is so different, she is attached and responds like you would expect. She gives love and she receives it, with her whole being. She was proud to show me off to her teacher and new friends, she talked to me the entire time, she helped Brooklyn search for eggs, and she was sad when I had to leave jumping up to give me hugs and kisses. I try not to compare but there is a huge difference. It doesn't make me love her more but it does feel better to be near her. Sometimes it is so hard to be equal when some children want you around, adore you, and want to please you when the others only show affection for others to witness, are rude to you, and couldn't care any less how you feel about their actions or affections towards you. Thank goodness I am a gluten for punishment with a lot of free time. I just remind myself how far they have come and hope they continue on this path to healing. Maybe next year they will be excited to see me or hug me when I leave, shoot just talk to me would be nice.


jen said...

Thanks for sharing those feelings and observations. I have had the same (btdt) through the years. Most of them will come around. I have two (out of 15) that still have not. I love them but they choose to distance me. The rest are very huggy and affectionate but not in the beginning. One took 6 years but hugs me every day without fail now.

Your home is beautiful. I am jealous of your trees. I love the woods.


Innocent Observer said...

Wow, your new house is amazing. How is it that you keep finding such great places?