My sweet Pook (DH) leaves around lunch tomorrow and the kids have started attacking me instead of talking about their feelings. I asked my son to help Ruthie unload the few dishes in the dishwasher and he went off. He began throwing everything he could get his hands on at me and the girls. I picked his tiny body up and brought him to the kitchen hoping he would calm himself down. I was wrong. He began swinging at me and then kicking me once I had him to the floor. I love living in the country, I put them out on the huge back deck and let them scream their heads off. He let me know he hates me, he is calling DFCS, and he won't do any chores. I thanked him for letting us know he doesn't want to be a part of the family and left him out there. He began throwing things at the windows and house so I had to intervene. I approached him and he hit me several times before I got a grip on him. The mistake he made was letting my Dh see him hit me. My DH is calm and collected until I am injured and then this evil deep voice comes out and it even sounds scary to me. He would never hurt a fly but it sure sounds like he would. Michael decided to allow me to get him on the ground and eventually stopped crying. He is now doing the kitchen alone and for a week.
The best part is Ruthie goes off on me every time one of the kids get in trouble. She hates me, I am stupid, she is calling DFCS, she is going to kill me, etc. I told her to get out, she was loved and we want her but I make her stay. She would never leave the deck but has been out there for about 20 minutes. If she wants to rejoin our family she will have to apologize to all of us for her nasty behavior and the kids will get to find a way for her to make it up to all of us.
They both have fits but this was particularly aggressive for Michael and it had been brewing all day. He had tried to argue with me about everything from Ava's meds to lifting the toilet seat. I hope they are able to talk and cry about things in the future instead of hurting themselves and others. I sure do love them, I am lucky to have them but at the same time they are lucky I am their Mom b/c I know for sure there aren't many Moms that would take all the shit they throw at me with so little positive in return.
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2 comments:
(((TUDU)))
My therapist once told me that I should feel proud that my daughter felt safe enough with me to show me her worst! After I said, HUH??? I thought about it and realized she was right!
You are your children's "safe place" and they are very LUCKY to have you!
Gerri
I'm just catching up on your blog and it looks like I have a lot to catch up on. I know this rage behavior well. It sounds like you handled it like a champ. It's so incredibly hard ! But, like Gerri says, they take it out on us because they can and they know that we'll still love them.
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