Tuesday, June 24, 2008

More Than I Thought

My house has never been so clean! Everything is in it's place and I have nothing to do. The few kids I have, Cyr is with DH at work and Em is at her Mother's, are behaving so well. I am actually bored. How does that happen?

Just a couple of things, the kids talked to their mother's parents today. It was brief but they enjoyed it. I had to put a stop to anything about their parents on this call b/c I was afraid they would share that the parents are about to be arrested and the Gparents would give them a heads up. The conversations were short b/c they had received a call just before us that Aunt 2 and 3 had been in a car accident and were taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I have no idea if they are ok or not, their only car was totaled. Selfish me wonders how they will have their forensic interview on Thursday.

The other thing is one of my children has confessed to almost obsessively masturbating. I knew it was happening (not as often as it is) but when she told me about it she expected a huge confrontation. I was supportive and she was surprised. We talked about what made her feel tingly and I noticed a pattern. She is doing it when she is stressed. It seems to comfort her. She has hurt herself doing this so much. Now I get to hear every time she feels tingly so we can talk about it. Oh Goody.

I almost forgot, I noticed today that none of my kids brushed their teeth (trust me, it is THAT obvious) or dressed this morning. I asked them to all bring me their toothbrushes for paste. They all fell in line except Ava. I knew something was up when she started smiling and asking for a new one. Turns out she has been using it to clean the rocks they find in the yard. Let me rephrase that, she has been allowing Patches to clean the rocks. LOL The last time they showed me a clean rock was 2 days ago, no wonder the girl smelled like she ate poop for breakfast. I told her dirt won't hurt her to brush her teeth with it and put it in the dishwasher. (I put mine and my DH's in there for good measure)

Ava has been hurting me a lot lately. Not sure what is up but it came to a head for me today. Many of them have gone through this smile and hurt Mom at the same time thing. You all know what I am talking about, they hug you and elbow you at the same time kinda thing. Anyway, today she asked to rub lotion on my legs (yes, it is a privilege b/c my legs are so soft and beautiful). She kept putting too much lotion on then and scratching it off, it hurt and I told her so about 6 times. Then she wanted to do my hair (again a privilege but only b/c I love it and want them to do it, LOL fooled them) and she brushed SOOO hard I had to ask her to stop. Later she was fixing my makeup (at this point I have no excuse, I am lazy, they love to do it and I let them). She poked my eye MANY times and it dawned on me it was intentional so I made her stop touching me for the rest of today. Tears burst out her tiny eyes and you would have thought I told her "no air for you". I told her she didn't fool me and she STOPPED! It still surprises me at how she can manipulate everyone, including me. She is a real character, kinda scary.

2 comments:

Maia said...

A lot of the kids I work with masturbate when they are angry or stressed or sad or -insert emotion here-. I think that's a pretty common effect of being sexually abused, especially for little kids. I'm interested to hear how you go about dealing with this, as I haven't found one thing that works for all kids. (Of course it depends on what the goal of the "treatment" is ... for my kids it's usually to help them find other coping skills to use to de-stress or to deal with their intense emotions so sexual stimulation isn't so connected and can be used/seen more as a pleasurable thing. Hope that makes sense.)

Tudu said...

It absolutely makes sense. At this point SHE is the one that wants to stop it so I think it will be easier. She has already come to me 4 times in the last 4 hours to "talk" about it. instead of act on it. Have I mentioned lately how great my kids are? Once they see or are told that something is not appropriate, they work to change it. How did I get so lucky? I'll keep you posted.