Delayed Again

The deadline has been postponed, again. I am not surprised but disappointed. The kids have no idea and that does help up us get through. I believe our Det., I believe she is doing all she can. She promises that she has enough to prosecute 3 charges for each parent. She also shared she has some really amazing evidence and testimony to prove what my kids have said. I was really impressed that she managed to get this so many years after the incidents. She has all her supeneas for the closed adoption records and their father's juvenile records. It will take time to get the adoption records but DFCS is working with them, finally. They can't find the charge on his juvenile record that the old investigator swears she is sure she charged him with. The Det. has another interview with her today to find out why it isn't there. She remembers both sisters made allegations so it should be in the adoption files. The latest victims were unable to make their forensic interviews due to a car accident the night before and should be rescheduled today for this week. I wish things would move faster but it is more important they do it right.

We discussed the media issue again. She is worried this will be a huge case here, they will release their parent's names after the arrest. They will not comment after that. She feels these people know enough people that would love to have a minute of fame they will say anything. I am concerned our name and location will get out. Many know our name, we are not listed, and only their former foster parents and Aunt/Uncle know exactly where we are. I feel like we are covered but not confident. Any suggestions?

We couldn't help it

I have something to confess, we have added another member to our family and this one was not planned for. I had answered so many ads on Craigslist looking for a Pug that I kinda lost track of who was who. One of the guys I talked to gave us Elvis but earlier in the week I had spoken to a really nice lady and misunderstood our conversation. I thought she was weighing her options when she said she said she would be talking to her daughter about us and get back to me by Friday. She meant she would tell her daughter and see us Friday. She called on Friday and became almost frantic when I told her I thought she had decided to keep him. Turns out she had taken him to the vet, washed all his 400 toys, and even had her family come to say goodbye to him. I felt terrible for her and called my DH. He was game so we now have a second Pug and he is actually the age she claimed, 3.5 yrs. He is so darn cute. The dogs get along fine but do not really play together for more than a minute or so b/c Elvis is so tired. His age has become incredibly obvious when we brought home the young guy. Now we have a cuddler and a runner. The younger guy seems to know his name so we are keeping it, he is Jace. He doesn't stop moving until he passes out. He follows me around like I am a giant treat. He has a favorite place to sit as you can tell in the picture.

The Deadline is Today

I love the name Oliver! We ended up voting as a family and decided to go with Elvis for a couple of reasons, he kinda sings to you, he is very charismatic, and he is really over weight but still adorable. He is so entertaining and loves to be in the room while the kids play, he will leave if they surround him. I don't even like to be surrounded by them. (The kids have him in a doll pack and play and he went right to sleep.)

Emma is feeling a bit better today. No tears and she has talked to her Mother on the phone. She had said yesterday she didn't think she wanted to go to her sister's party but now has changed her mind. She is really starting to get what adoption means, loss. Her Mother has vowed to help her understand the truth about her adoption, her own behavior and instability issues forced her to make this choice. She promised to not have so much fun at her house so it doesn't look like they always have fun b/c they don't, they have to save every penny to have fun when she comes. I love her Mother and how much she loves our daughter, she always has her best interest at heart.

Today is the day they are supposed to file that warrant. My stomach is a knot. I am not worried they will arrest them, it is b/c I am afraid they won't, AGAIN. We need this to happen, even if they aren't found guilty b/c the kids don't understand all that yet. They want then to go to jail and even weeks would be enough in their minds.

Random Things

The dog is quite the charmer and I am thinking we may go for Jack, as in Jack Nicholson. Patches likes the name Jack b/c of Jack Sparrow even though her all time favorite crush is Will Turner (Orlando Bloom but she has no idea he has a real name, LOL, she argues about this every time). He is so tolerant of these kids, he just lays there as they pet him, put glasses on him, and play around him. I know he like it b/c I have taken him out of the room and he goes back on his own. He is eating up all this attention. The kids are doing VERY well enforcing the rules with him.

Emma is home. I tried to take a photo of her for the before and after but she is a mess. She has been crying for about 30 minutes on and off. She hates leaving them behind, she worries so much for a little girl. This is the hardest she has ever cried after a visit. She doesn't want to live with her, she just wants to live closer to her. It breaks my heart. (When my MIL brought her home she honked in the driveway as a greeting to all of us out there. Ella was walking the dog for the first time and started running towards me screaming and crying. Who knew a horn was so scary?)

I just overheard a few of my kids playing. Patches was yelling at Michael and then Ruthie, "You have to go to jail b/c you are the Dad. Real Dads are bad and go to jail b/c they hurt their kids. Hey, how did you get out of jail?"

Ruthie said, "My foster mom got me out b/c kids don't go to jail only parents do."

Ella said, "Hey, do people eat dogs? Can I take the dog to jail? I like hot dogs. Do you need ice cream money in jail?"

Ruthie, "People who get out of jail should get killed. If everybody doesn't do their homework, I'm gonna kill them."

(Think anything is on their minds? Ruthie is a bit over the top on the killing thing and I am so gonna keep an eye on Ella and the dog, LOL)

An Old Man

When we decided to re home Fonzo we knew we would have to get another dog. I began just checking out Craigslist and seeing what was available and what was a good breed for us. I knew I didn't want to do the puppy thing again and definitely a much smaller one.

Last night my DH picked up this senior citizen (they claim he is 6 yrs old but he looks much older than that). He is a retired Medic Dog, his first owner died and he ended up in the Humane Society, he was purchased by a young woman and she has had him briefly when she discovered he needs alot of attention. She was looking for a little dog to run and snuggle with. He is not the one. Snuggle, yes, run is not in his vocabulary. OMG! He is so well trained and behaved. He is making himself right at home. He goes to the door and whines, if you don't respond with quickly taking him out he will jump on the door and bark at you. He is a picky eater, we gave him a "treat" b/c the last owner did it for every trick and he spit it out at us and barked. He "talks" to you to get you to do things for him like feed him or rub his belly. He pees on EVERY puff of grass outside and them kicks dirt on his poop. He is a fur ball and shedding like crazy so I need to get a good brush for him to keep that down. He listens and seems to almost understand what you are telling him and turns his head like he is relating. The kids really like him (I know anything new is great) but the little ones love that they can participate in taking him out. Poor thing can't run or tug too hard and he stands at the bottom of the stairs and waits for someone to pick him up, when we don't he kinda mumbles and then follows. He is constantly at my feet but will go to a kid for love if they call him. This is my kinda dog! His name is Preema. I hate the name. He doesn't come to it so I think we can find another. Any ideas?

Cyr tried to sleep with him but he whined and she brought him back to me. We chatted for awhile (me and the dog) and begged to sleep with me on the sofa (whole other story something about me snoring and no one else can sleep, a bunch of lies if you ask me. I don't hear anything). When I explained he needed to sleep on the blanket on the floor he would look at it and look at me then bark. This went on for quite a bit. Eventually, I just kept pointing to the blanket and he went over there walked around it and laid down. He gave me one more mumble and decided to sleep there. He woke me up this morning with a quick bark in the face and a run (sorta) to the door.

The Not Knowing Is What Hurts

I have made a decision to help a woman I believe to have been wronged in adoption. Of course, I hear only her side but it rings true. It makes me so mad that young women are forced or coerced into adoption when it is the furthest thing from their minds. They are pressured by their parents, SWs, or agencies to place their child with the promise of getting to remain in their lives.

Then there is the other side, the desperate couples that want a child so bad they would do almost anything to be a parent. They trust their agency, SW, and attorney to do the right thing. There are also the people that will say anything to get the child with the intention of closing things afterward once things are final. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked "Why do you still talk to them?" or "Just tell her anything but once you finalize you don't have to do it.". So many of the adoptive parents fear their child's family. I am not talking about foster care adoption, I am talking about domestic infant adoptions. Is it they know they aren't the "real" parent? Why are so many insecure? They are unwilling to look at it from their child's point of view. I have a passion for open adoption that came naturally to me. I had no idea what it was called or exactly what I wanted when Emma came to us. I just knew I couldn't keep this young woman from her child b/c I felt insecure.

I hope I can help this woman, I will do my best to try to reunite her with her daughter. I will not give up until I can at least let her know she is OK. After seeing recent pictures of her child, I am concerned about the child's emotional state. She has the "walking dead" look that I remember my children had in pictures. I can't undo what has been done but I hope to put this mother's mind at ease that her child is safe.

More Than I Thought

My house has never been so clean! Everything is in it's place and I have nothing to do. The few kids I have, Cyr is with DH at work and Em is at her Mother's, are behaving so well. I am actually bored. How does that happen?

Just a couple of things, the kids talked to their mother's parents today. It was brief but they enjoyed it. I had to put a stop to anything about their parents on this call b/c I was afraid they would share that the parents are about to be arrested and the Gparents would give them a heads up. The conversations were short b/c they had received a call just before us that Aunt 2 and 3 had been in a car accident and were taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I have no idea if they are ok or not, their only car was totaled. Selfish me wonders how they will have their forensic interview on Thursday.

The other thing is one of my children has confessed to almost obsessively masturbating. I knew it was happening (not as often as it is) but when she told me about it she expected a huge confrontation. I was supportive and she was surprised. We talked about what made her feel tingly and I noticed a pattern. She is doing it when she is stressed. It seems to comfort her. She has hurt herself doing this so much. Now I get to hear every time she feels tingly so we can talk about it. Oh Goody.

I almost forgot, I noticed today that none of my kids brushed their teeth (trust me, it is THAT obvious) or dressed this morning. I asked them to all bring me their toothbrushes for paste. They all fell in line except Ava. I knew something was up when she started smiling and asking for a new one. Turns out she has been using it to clean the rocks they find in the yard. Let me rephrase that, she has been allowing Patches to clean the rocks. LOL The last time they showed me a clean rock was 2 days ago, no wonder the girl smelled like she ate poop for breakfast. I told her dirt won't hurt her to brush her teeth with it and put it in the dishwasher. (I put mine and my DH's in there for good measure)

Ava has been hurting me a lot lately. Not sure what is up but it came to a head for me today. Many of them have gone through this smile and hurt Mom at the same time thing. You all know what I am talking about, they hug you and elbow you at the same time kinda thing. Anyway, today she asked to rub lotion on my legs (yes, it is a privilege b/c my legs are so soft and beautiful). She kept putting too much lotion on then and scratching it off, it hurt and I told her so about 6 times. Then she wanted to do my hair (again a privilege but only b/c I love it and want them to do it, LOL fooled them) and she brushed SOOO hard I had to ask her to stop. Later she was fixing my makeup (at this point I have no excuse, I am lazy, they love to do it and I let them). She poked my eye MANY times and it dawned on me it was intentional so I made her stop touching me for the rest of today. Tears burst out her tiny eyes and you would have thought I told her "no air for you". I told her she didn't fool me and she STOPPED! It still surprises me at how she can manipulate everyone, including me. She is a real character, kinda scary.

Off Again

Emma left to go to Six Flags for the day and then back to her Mother's house for a few days. As much as I tell myself she will be fine, I worry the entire time she is gone. It's not a worry I have if she spends the night with a friend, I worry she will be in an accident or something and I will never forgive myself for letting her go. I miss her terribly already. Several kids have complained about being bored, trust me this doesn't happen here, they claim they miss her too much to have fun. She is the life of this house. I guess while she has fun we will just sit here and wait for her return.

I took this very early this morning, she was so excited to leave it was pure torture for her to stand still. She refused to have her hair done and I had to practically hold her down for sunscreen.

On a different note, we had sent in our application to attend a camping weekend with a local group we belong to for families of children with special needs many months ago but had been put on a waiting list. It didn't look good b/c they were so over booked. To my surprise, we got an email this morning that we are going!!!!!!! It will cost us $200 for an entire weekend in a cabin, with activities, and food. I am so happy we are going.

A Nice Afternoon

The kids are loving the blueberry bushes, I have found their hands covered in blueish stains from the juice. They are so excited that I have had to tell them not to touch them again b/c they are not ready. We have raspberries, grapes, plums, blueberries, and apples coming in but none are ripe enough to be stuffed in their little mouths. Patches doesn't even like blueberries but she is eating them.

I have started a new consequence for Ava and Michael, it can apply to them all but they are the 2 that have the toughest time on a daily basis. No more discussion, if they cross the very clear line of driving us crazy, no pool that day. They go dressed in clothes and sit in the shade and watch us giggle and play for hours. On days we can't go to the pool they can enjoy some peace and quiet in their rooms.

Michael is in his room today. I tried too many times to talk him through his anger this morning and gave up for the day after he slammed his bedroom door repeatedly trying successfully to wake his sick Dad. This was, of course, after he was obnoxious for a couple of hours downstairs. He will eat his meals separate from us and since he has calmed down I brought him up his case of Hot Wheels. Now we will have a stress free day and so will he. He just loses control. We, him and I, are supposed to be trying to talk through his anger so he won't get in trouble but instead he lashes out at me. The girls know exactly how to get him, I will see them do it and intervene to protect him from losing it and I become his target. Most of the kids do not read emotions, very difficult to explain if you don't live with it. I have to tell them my emotion, repeat it several times usually, and promise they are not in trouble over and over to get their attention or trust. I have begun to whisper to him and Patches b/c it gets their attention better. He just doesn't get that I am on his side at the time. He screamed at me in the face today when I said, "I am on your side, I am trying to help you." Maybe tomorrow, probably more like next year.

The wait is almost over

Maybe I share too much, I'm not sure but I have no one to go into details with as we continue this process to have the parents pay for what they have done. My DH wants to know but he is frustrated with all the details, he gets really mad it is taking so long and they are still out there.

I got another update from the Det., this time unsolicited. She have me a deadline for the end of her investigation part, she will then go back to the D.A. to get the warrant. I had been told this was already in hand but maybe she has to get a fresh one or something added, I don't know. They are still going to continue to try for old information but what the kids have said is enough to prosecute them. I have told no one but you, June 27th. I almost jumped for joy. This whole thing has my stomach in a knot every time it comes to mind. Some of the kids want to testify, they want them to pay, others don't understand. All will feel better when they are in jail.

I got another call from Aunt 2, I am beginning to like her, too. Funny thing is both married into the family and Aunt 1 claims that is why I like her, she's not blood related and crazy. LOL I believe there will eventually be Aunt 3, she has expressed interest in getting to know the kids and was horribly manipulated into the family. She met, fell in love, got pregnant, and got married to their Mother's brother. Only after she had her son did she discover her husband was a convicted child molester and was not supposed to be around kids. He was arrested on failure to register and she has been scared to death he will get out this Oct and want to see his son. She went Monday to DFCS to see what she has to do to keep him away from her and her child. I like that about her. I also like that she discovered their parents had another little girl at their house for days at a time and ran to Aunt 2 to ask what to do. They called last night and I gave them the Det.'s cell and they called immediately and reported it. The parent's moved to another county so she sent over a deputy from that county to check on things. We should hear how that went today.

Our Dog is Gone

After our party Saturday night the kids heard the dog running around the room his crate was in, he had gotten out of it. No biggie, he has opened the crate before but never in the room he was in. He had gotten into stuff and chewed lots of it up. They took him outside, fed him, let him run a bit, and returned him to his crate. The next morning I smelled something awful as I came down the stairs and got Cyr up to take him out knowing he had probably pooped in his crate. He did. He was lazy all day Sunday, not really eating or playing hard. Monday night he still wasn't better so we decided to take him to the vet Tuesday. Yesterday he was fine, wagging his tail not playful but much better so we decided not to take him. I took the kids to Vacation Bible School and he was walking around drinking water, seemed fine. I left to pick up the kids and got a call from DH, Cyr had called him b/c the dog laid down and wouldn't get up. I was home within 10 minutes and found him dead. What is so shocking is that he was fine, he seemed so much better and active. My kids and DH are devastated. We had to drag him onto a tarp and then a wagon to secure him from wild animals. My DH is going to wrap him up and take him to the vet in the morning b/c we tried and can't bury him here. The ground is so hard we dug for 2 hours and couldn't get past the rock and roots.

I sent the wrong kid to Bible School

To answer the question why my sister is being weird about her pregnancy, I think it is b/c I had such a hard time with pregnancies. I couldn't care any less about it but my family is kinda weird about it with me. I think the other reason is she is unmarried (like I was a virgin until marriage, though I do tell all my nieces b/c there is no proof otherwise, LOL) and the father is a man she dated before and discovered he was married and had 2 girlfriends in different cities. She got pregnant before from him, had an abortion that he refused to help her with after she hemorrhaged and had to be hospitalized, and contracted a VD from. Maybe she thought I might say something about his past behaviors, I am sure he has turned his life around now for her and the baby. He lives a state away and visits almost every weekend, what could I possibly say to the contrary?

My oldest is becoming quite the arguer, she used to be so passive aggressive and since she has begun working in AT, this is changing. At this point, I am entertained and enjoy the banter as long as she is respectful. Yesterday she had me on the floor laughing so hard b/c she will do it over anything and really stick to her guns about it even with written proof she is wrong.

I sent 5 of my 7 to Vacation Bible School this week, one had Summer School to attend and the other is my oldest. We are not Christians, we are Unitarians, I feel it is important for the kids to learn about all religions and discover their own beliefs. Up until this summer they were unable to attend things without me but since we are becoming a normal household they were thrilled to go and have behaved very well (for them).

After they return each day I read what they learned about and try to discuss it with them. Only Emma is paying attention or retaining anything. The others just stare at me like I am speaking French. Yesterday they learned that Jesus is the son of God. Cyr jumped right in and corrected me saying that God was the son of Jesus. I politely insisted she must have misunderstood and moved on. This child refused to let it go, she went on and on about how she was forced by her old FM to attend church so she should know. She then tried to convince me that different churches believe different things, I agreed but insisted this was one they all agreed on. She was so furious I started to laugh, not a nice thing but a reaction that couldn't be helped. She did eventually give in and stop fighting but insists she is right. She did not think it was funny when I called the old FM to giggle with her about it, she was a good sport about it all though.

The Family Curse

Yes, Ava did join the fun, she had a lot to make up before she could join us but she managed. All my kids behaved but Patches had a really difficult time joining in. She tends to be standoffish but comes across as rude. I had to escort her up to the moonwalk and get a few siblings to invite her in and kinda walk her through it. It is so hard to watch her suffer around other people. I found her too many times to count hiding in her room or behind the grill. She eventually cried after everyone left b/c none of her friends showed up, Emma chimed right in and said none of hers did either and that helped her feel less left out.

I took the kids to Vacation Bible School this morning. I tried yesterday but too many were out of control and ruined it for everyone else. We talked about it for quite a long time and we managed to go today. I was so proud of them, Michael and Emma will be in Michael's 1st grade teacher's class, the twins will be together, and Patches is alone. I was tickled to sneak in and see Patches had found a classmate from school and hooked right up. Cyr refused to go so she could stay home with Abbie and Ruthie is in summer school. Smella is going to 2 different Bible Schools, one with our kids and one at night with her friend, Emma. She is so excited to get to leave with someone besides Mom. DH asked her if she was learning anything about God and she said she was but claimed all she really did was play.

I got a call this morning from my niece Kaka, her mother is due to have a son any minute and I figured that was why she called. It wasn't. I need to back up a second and explain that I am not currently speaking to her mother (or mine) for several reasons but a couple surround this new baby. My sister refused to tell me she was pregnant for months, refused to allow anyone else to tell me, refused to return my calls, and when she discovered it was a boy (first boy born into the family in the last couple of generations so it is a big deal) she refused to call me and told my mother to do it and she called my other sisters to tell them. My feelings have been hurt, she knows this and refuses to speak to me so I made a decision to stop my relationship with her, why beg someone to be in your life. In the middle of all this, my mother always takes a side, anyone but mine (well known amongst our family this is a pattern) and made the comment that this was her first grandson (I guess my son doesn't count). I refused to go to the Baby Shower due to this strained relationship and they never gave me one so there, I am being petty. At this shower, everything she received for her child was blue, she purchased all her bedding in baseball themes, boy diapers, etc. Figuring she was all set to deliver any day, she opened everything up, washed it, and set it up. She went to the doctor today and they decided to do another ultrasound and discovered something was wrong. Her son is missing his penis and has grown a vagina. ROFLMAO! When I called Kiki, she wasn't surprised b/c she swears it is a family curse, for some reason our wombs rot off any penis trying to grow. I do feel bad for my sister, she has nothing for her daughter now and will have to either wear a lot of blue with bows taped to her head or buy a lot of new stuff.

We Survived

This was at the end after they opened presents. Patches looks like she is dying or wishes she was. Michael is trying to smile for every flash. Ella was JACKED UP on sodas. The kid must have had a 12 pack herself.







Ella jumping from the slide to the moonwalk, never slowed down.










Just random kids jumping.











Cyr and her miniature boyfriend, it is hard to tell here but she is much taller than he is. I was worried they would kiss and they refused to stand near each other. What a relief that was, not mention her cousins tortured her about standing closer, hold his hand, when were they getting married, how many eyes would their babies have, you name it, she wishes she hadn't invited him, I am sure b/c they never left her side.




Uncle Todd did the cooking and then he did this for about an hour. He claims he had a good time, I think he was just pretending so the kids would leave him alone.






After the events I was in so much pain I took some pain medication and laid down. My DH told me he had everything under control and not to worry. I stayed there all night. The next morning I woke to find they never did have dinner, he claimed they were not hungry. I started to look around for things to clean up and discovered the reason they weren't hungry was he let them graze on 50 bags of chips and and about 4 cases of soda all night. I thought it was weird they were still up chatting way past midnight. He is so funny, it never occurred to him they would overdo the sugar and chips.

I forgot to add that the Aunt, Uncle, and their new cousin (he's 15 and was unknown to the family until recently) were a huge hit. The kids were thrilled they came and they were so great about answering questions for them about their parents. Tons of kids came and even a couple of Moms from the online group I keep trying to fit in.

Wearing Down

I am exhausted, all the darn cleaning so people can come over and trash the place in minutes. So much for being outside, it is going to rain and only during the scheduled party. How's that for timing?

Cyr agreed in therapy today that she is indeed monopolizing her Dad's time again but promised to take into consideration the other kids feelings. Who is this child? Patches went right in to therapy without a complaint. All the kids were well behaved and managed to leave without incident.

Ava has been a pain since. She is so lazy and so smart that she is able t find a million reasons not to help us prepare. Unless she has some major breakthrough by morning I am going to have to have her sit it out. It breaks my heart but I am not sure what else to do. She openly admits she shouldn't get to participate b/c she hasn't helped AT ALL. She watches, plays, hides, keeps others company, and tells others what to do but never actually does anything herself. The girl wears me down.

Spoke to the darn Detective after like 3 weeks. She is investigating the cousin that the parents recently violated and DFCS is involved. She is trying to get the mother to take the child in for a forensic interview but she is avoiding it. The Mother admits there was a kiss but I think she is afraid b/c she didn't report it she will lose the kids. If she doesn't step up now, she is going to be in real trouble.

The aunt that was adopted and violated by their father avoided her until they had to put her house under surveillance. She admitted on the phone that there were 2 incidents but now is denying everything. The Det. is trying to get the old police file on the kids' grandfather's case which would have all the statements about the incidents in it. Of course, it is missing. She is also trying to get DFCS file on it but b/c she was adopted, her case is sealed. They are trying to get a Supreme Court Order to open it b/c a regular search warrant or order won't do it. She feels it will happen but they may have lost it, too. Either way they will eventually be arrested. She has a "friend" that is a U.S. Marshal that have agreed to do the arresting and for whatever reason, she was very excited about this opportunity. She will be there b/c she said she wouldn't miss it for the world. I am frustrated it is taking so long but I know she is too. She has spies (family members) that are calling to update her on their whereabouts regularly so she is not concerned they will leave.

I am an idiot, I think it is this darn heat wave that has fried my brain. I keep a black book with all my appointments in it, I know most folks that run large households do something similar. I pride myself on always being on time to these professional appointments, I get too flustered if I am late so am known to arrive sometimes 30 minutes early. Last night I didn't sleep well, I was tossing and turning and just got up when Ruthie had to get ready for school at 6AM. Thrilled that my DH was staying in this morning I ran to Walmart to buy a new carpet cleaner (can't let folks see this nasty carpet on Saturday). As I am pulling in the parking lot chatting away with my sister the other line rings in. I immediately knew the huge mistake I had made, it was my MIL, she was calling to see about Emma and Michael's adventure we had planned at her home. She was meeting me at the AT's office, "OMG! I forgot to go to therapy!" I hung up on my sister and called the AT to rearrange the appointment. He didn't answer b/c he was late. I ran home and snatched up the kids and was only 30 minutes late. Wheeww! He just got the biggest kick out of it b/c he is 10 to 30 minutes late every week b/c he has to deal with horrible traffic after he gets his son on the bus.

Back to the carpet cleaner, LOVE it! well, except for the fact I didn't understand the handle had to be down or when you pour it out it will splash all over your FACE! That is a mistake I will only make once.

The AT noticed things have settled back down here, except Ruthie threatened to kill me yesterday and we are going to figure out why this child FREAKS out if another child gets in trouble. PTSD is about all I can think of at this point, it is so sad that she gets to the point of threatening my life b/c Ava broke another child's toy intentionally. Ava took her consequence gracefully and couldn't figure out why Ruthie was so much more upset than her. It didn't last all night like it has in the past. She just loses all control and attacks me or herself physically.

The AT is impressed with the way I have things each child is working on and our plans to help them with each thing. He laughed at me today after he asked what we would be doing in therapy and I rattled off each child's current issue and status. I always ask for input but he just shakes his head and tells me to keep up what I am doing. Don't get me wrong, he is helping us, he is like a sounding board and gives suggestions if my ways aren't working, it's just I know my kids and I try something until it is time to try something else. He helps me figure out WHY something is happening. He says I have fantastic instincts about what will work and why. He loves that I know what we should be working on with each child and what the next step should be. He gives me confidence in my ability to parent my crazy kids on days I am not so sure we will ever climb out of this hole.

I am not sure I posted about Ella pooping herself the other night. Ok, that may just be the understatement of the year. The child crapped her pants, her sleeping bag, smeared it all over herself, the counter, the toilet, the floor, and the wall in the process of taking off the underwear. Makes me sad that after 2 yrs she still can't ask for help when she needs it but will terrorize me over a boo boo no one can find on her finger. This goes for the entire sibling group. I worry they view Emma as getting too much attention b/c she does ask for it when she is scared or sick. They don't. I did explain to Ella that if she could learn to come to me at night that she could sleep in her sleeping bag by my side of the bed until Dad leaves and then she can climb right up. Maybe it will help if she knows she will get something she wants.

*Ella just wrote me a card that said, "Mom I love you I am pretty becoz you" She explained that I am helping her be a prettier person and she wasn't talking about her face. We are working really hard on helping her stand up for herself and saying what she thinks or feels. She usually gets all shy looking or gets this deer in the headlight look if you require a response about ANYTHING. We just spent the last 20 minutes practicing how to tell me that I was incorrect about something. Huge step for my little constant victim.

Open Invitation

So many of you wish you could come to the party or for me to throw yours. LOL I about fell out at that one. If you are close to GA, please email me I would love to have anyone that reads here join us.

Bad Mommy

We took the kids swimming yesterday and had a ball. I have 4 that are instantly tan and 3 that burn within minutes. How is that possible? I put sunscreen on Ava and Michael about every hour and so thick it was still white so they had to wait about 10 minutes for it to soak in before getting wet again. Fried! Ava is much worse than my son and I feel terrible. I used a great product and even splurged and got the spray stuff that I love. Poor things were miserable all night and today.

I periodically check my oldest's email b/c I don't trust her. She was aware this was my rule when I opened it for her. I noticed she changed her password a couple of weeks ago and kept forgetting to ask for it. I asked her last night and her eyes got so wide I thought they would pop out of her pretty little head. I waited patiently to check it b/c I wanted to see her squirm and that she did. LOL

I peeked in it this morning and looked at all her sent messages. She had no idea she could erase them and I am thinking I will keep this little tidbit to myself. I saw only one girl using poor language and she seemed a bit angry, calling another girl and f n b while making fun of her. I noticed my dd was talking about a party we were considering letting her go to after her birthday party on Saturday. The Mother is super nice and asked if she could go with her son to her dd's pool party. She promised to keep a close eye on them and we shared the same concerns about their friendship. They are 11 and 12 and WAY too young to be "going together" and they had broken up a few weeks ago but seemed to remain friends. I was a little more comfortable than my DH and the AT since the Mother and I talked. Now that I have read her email we canceled the pool party, she was planning to KISS him. I don't think it would have played out but she PLANNED it.

I know this is normal stuff and kids do start experimenting but it just means I still can't trust her out of my sight. I really want her to have a social life. I would love for her to have friends and sleepovers (girls, of course) but I can't. I think this is harder on me than it is her. I don't want to tell her friend's parents, "Hey, watch my kid extra close with your dd/son b/c she has a habit of putting the moves on kids and can't be trusted out of your sight."

On the bright side, at least this kid is not a relative and age appropriate even though he is the size of a Kindergartner. That is progress, right?

Our party is in full planning mode. No one is coming but we are gonna have a ball anyway. I think only 5 kids R.S.V.P.'d out of 120 invitations. I am not kidding. I let them give them out to every kid in their class, every teacher they knew, everyone on the bus, and now I am sending more out to Ruthie's summer school class. I hope we are pleasantly surprised on Saturday.

I rented a huge Moonwalk and Slide, we get to keep them all weekend. We will have hamburgers and hot dogs, chips, pickles, and tons of soda. We are having a tug of war, sack race, and a couple of other games they loved from Field Day. I spent over a $100 on their goody bags and only bought stuff I liked so I wouldn't be upset if we had lots of it left. You know like, disappearing ink, paddle games, bottle caps, pop rocks, noise putty, bloody gumball eyes (they have a cherry goo in the middle), and bouncing balls to name a few.

I have to clean our carpet, find the dog a home, get an estimate for repainting the house, go shopping, and catch up on laundry in the next few days. No problem. LOL

Ava Really Wanted Money

She has had a loose tooth for about a week. I have tried to feel it myself and couldn't so it must not have been very loose. She came down a few minutes ago and with it in her hand. Patches wiggled it and then tied a string around it. Ava made sure I called the Tooth Fairy and left it by the coffee maker.

While typing this, I heard hollering from upstairs. I ran to see what was going on and I see Michael, Ella, and Emma sitting on the bathroom counter with Patches standing in front of Michael. She has a little business going, she is trying to pull their teeth out for a percentage of what they will get from the Tooth Fairy. Sometimes they are so smart about stupid things. These kids don't even have loose teeth!

Money

My kids seem focused on earning money in the last 2 days. Cyr has gotten up and gone to work with Dad. Emma, Ruthie, and Ella have volunteered to clean entire rooms only asking for $.50 each for the gumball machines at Kroger. I am really getting my money's worth out of them.

Just now I saw Michael laying on the living room floor with Ava pounding on his back, she called it a massage. I asked her why she was doing this and she practically squealed she was getting money for it. I asked how and Michael turned over to find out b/c he was surprised by her response. She kinda stumbled not having thought this plan through. Michael told her he didn't have any money and she replied, "You can just give me the money when you lose a tooth." He seemed ok with that and rolled back over for her to continue. I guess a deal has been struck and she is now taking his intact teeth as collateral. They are so funny sometimes.

CRCT Results

This is from my niece's birthday scavenger hunt. They had to have a picture of them with their tongues out. lol








Ella's Graduation
















Ava's Graduation.









I wanted to brag a bit, Emma only missed a few questions on the ENTIRE test. You read that right, only a few. She got the highest score in her grade. She is so darn smart and this just proves it. I am so proud of her!

Cyr did so much better this year, her barely passing Math last year has moved right on up to a comfortable average. Ruthie is rally struggling in Math but everything else was barely below passing. I am wondering what the heck she is doing in MID classes. Still not sure if she will pass the 3rd grade b/c she is in summer school to retake the test. Michael didn't pass anything and I am really hoping that by staying put next year he will finally get it.

Great News

After speaking to an incredible trainer that Skirbo recommended, I am confident I was correct in trying to rehome him with someone experienced in this breed. She explained I am able to legally release myself from liability by making a written agreement stating that they understand the issue and that this is the last resort before euthanasia. I have many folks working hard to help from here and locally.

I appreciate all your support and understanding, y'all are the greatest! I was so shocked that this got so much feedback, of all the things I have posted, this was the hottest topic. Go figure.

Kids are fine. Ruthie is starting summer school and is both nervous and excited to be doing something completely on her own. We have AT today and more party planning. Summer is going splendidly so far.

We got the long awaited paternity results back on the kids and are thrilled to announce they are all full siblings. I am extremely relieved to that I won't be having some horrible conversation that a couple of them were fathered by nameless men or their uncle as their Mother had suggested.

I am more than willing to accept help finding him a home. We have been trying ourselves for weeks. I have called EVERY rescue program here and they all tell me that they can't accept a dog that has bitten so many times. I explained that I feel it is a situational thing and they tell me to put him down. We have contacted the breeder and the 2 national Dogo Rescues and were chewed out for considering giving him to someone b/c he has bitten so many times. Every professional we have spoken to has chewed us out for not putting him down sooner. We have been told if he leaves our care and bites someone, we can be sued for endangering them. He is about 100# at 10 months, he will be over 120# full grown and can currently drag a women across the yard at a moments notice. He is fully capable of killing someone. I do not believe it is in his nature but it is possible.

Anonymous Commenter

Sorry you couldn't put your name to the nasty comment. We have "stepped up and gotten him training". We have spent over $1000 on professional training and it is helping. We work with him and separate him from the kids to feed him or the kids. The reason I put some blame on the kids is they refused to follow our instructions to not allow the dog to lay on them and do many other dominant behaviors with him. They taught him he was in charge of them, they encouraged him to be dominant over them, and they refused to listen when we gave them instructions. I am not blaming them for him having to be put down, they did actively participate in causing this problem. He is being put down b/c we have a law here that says we need to, we have tried to work with him to the point that we could be charged with child endangerment. I have been trying to find a home for him but b/c he has bitten so many times, NO ONE WILL TAKE HIM! I am convinced he would do fine, I want to save his life. How dare you call ME lazy? You have no idea what we have been through to help him work through this.

Lisa, I will do that ASAP. Thanks.

Bad Blogger

With the kids out of school I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Ruthie starts summer school on Thursday, my son's 8th birthday is today, we are planning a HUGE party, and we are having to put our dog down. He has a pretty severe case of Food Aggression. Our other Dogos were gentle, laid back, easy going, easy to train, lazy, and sweet. This dogo is anything but those things, he has bitten the kids on several occasions, never seriously but bad. He only becomes this psycho dog when there is people food involved. One time he found the pantry door open and in it was the trash, Patches walked in the room and he lunged at her and bit her leg. SHe bled but we knew it was b/c of the food and he is very confused about the pack order. Another time he bit both Ava and Michael when they tried to remove food from him, he could attack them and maul them but it isn't like that, he just bites and goes back to eating. It's like you see on TV, he is letting them know he gets the food and they are under him. This is not good and I fear they have been the ones to enforce his poor behavior and he would do fine in a home without children, he LOVES children, just not around people food. Does this make sense? I hate to kill a dog that is beautifully trained and just needs to be in a home without kids, he is fine any other time with kids. He NEVER even nips if an older person is there, it is a pack order issue. Our other Dogos were wonderful about pack order and just knew their place. My DH and the kids are devastated. I have been trying to find someone to take him but if we don't he needs to be put down.

Tonight we are making and enjoying ice cream cookies for Michael's treat. He picked salad for dinner and then those. MMMMMM

I know I have let you down Lorie, be patient, I will do it!