Monday, December 17, 2007

I must confess, I was concerned I had made a huge mistake with Patches yesterday. Did I say too much? Did I hurt her feelings? Where exactly is the line between supporting their family and bad mouthing them? Is being honest about them cruel? You get the idea, I was worried. I guess I did the right thing b/c she is maintaining control of herself and allowing me to be the mother again. SHe has made several comments today about me always loving her enough to tell the truth and being a good mother. I heard her telling one of the kids, "I AM part of the family again b/c I want Mom to love me (so give me a pudding cup)." It seems she is back to her self. She does need to have all this verified by her family and I spoke with her Gfather and Aunt today, both will answer her questions next time they see her. She trusts them and they are both very supportive of the adoption and mad at how the parents have handled raising their children. I feel like it will be hard for her to hear but she seems ready for it. She is a lucky girl to have so many people care about her and want to do what is best. I will be there to make sure it is not a bashing of the parents b/c I am not OK with that.

Her questions are simple, did DFCS steal her from her parents? Did we steal her? Did her parents love her? Do they miss her? Did they take good care of her? Did they try to keep jobs? Did they admit to the sexual abuse or deny it? Did any one try to help them keep the kids? All of these things make sense to me, I would want to know. I am sure all of the kids will have these questions as they deal with this. I am so proud of her for making the choice to be active on our family again. I missed her, even if it was only a weekend.

1 comment:

Mongoose said...

Well that makes sense. I'm glad you had this conversation. :)