Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Guess Who Called......
on Christmas Eve just moments after the kids opened their gifts? Their Mother and Father. It went well but I am anxious to hear their side when they talk to the aunt. I stood firm but was compassionate about their feelings. He thanked me and after 95 minutes he said he understood why we were not going to allow them to visit.
He said a few weird things when we discussed the accusations about them sexually abusing the kids, he claims he doesn't remember doing it. Those would not be the words I would use when asked if I had touched my children inappropriately, "I don't remember if that happened so I must not have. I won't admit to something I don't remember." I just told him we would understand if the memory comes up later and if he ever wants to apologize "just in case" that we would support him and hope he gets therapy. I refused to tell him the child that makes these claims and explained it was so he can be mad about it but not focus it on a child that he will never forgive. He thought that was good.
He is not living in reality, he claims he should have given the kids to his aunt. I called him on it and reminded him he tried to have several of his relatives pass the background stuff and they did not qualify. He became upset and started dreaming about if they had gone to them that he would see them and spend the night, blah, blah, blah. I think he was trying to offend me but I sucked it up and told him if they would have made the same accusations they have now the relative would have to stop the visits, too. He was silent.
He gave me the usual crap about DFCS doing him wrong and I stopped him in his tracks, I told him he would get farther with the kids and I if he took responsibility for what he did or didn't do instead of blaming. I am sure that will have to come up a few times before he really understands, it will be a hard habit to break.
Neither parent asked about how the kids were or what they have been up to. They did not show any real interest in them as people. I hope this is b/c they were quite focused on getting their story across. They complained alot about the maternal Gparents and wanted to know if they were still yelling at the kids and giving them beer to drink. The kids have no memory of this ever happening, I feel confident he is just angry they are seeing the kids.
We had a very difficult time putting together the new game table and I am afraid my DH has given up. The giant doll house is fantastic and they love it. Every kid got a brand spanking new bike from Santa and they were shocked. Em has been sitting on it for about an hour watching a movie. I have tried to take pictures of them but the flask makes them impossible to see.
Oh, I bought a turkey 4 days ago and left it in the fridge to thaw, it didn't. We will now be eating very late this afternoon. I am so dingy sometimes. I really should have checked on it last night but I forgot. Oh well.