Sunday, October 11, 2009

Victim Impact Statements

The kids have been asked to write the Judge about their feelings and thoughts before the sentencing. It is so much harder than I thought it would be. I expected tears and emotions but I didn't expect the out pour of love they need to express to their parents. We have always encouraged them that they can love their parents even if they have done terrible things. In every letter except Cyr's , they have written they love him and miss him at least once. One child wrote it at least 3 times.

My son hasn't really eaten since the trial. He claims he just isn't hungry. Ava, Ella, and Michael are still in my room with nightmares. They can't stop talking about it. Ella is constantly bringing up the trial and that she didn't see her father in the court room.

Alyssa, Eddie, and Gia welcomed their new baby brother into the world Tuesday. Their father has not seen them in 2 months. Both of those combined with the stress about the trial makes for poorly behaved children. Alyssa is out right disobedient. Eddie is back to peeing on himself but has added a sweet attitude with lots of compliments to me. Gia refuses to use the potty. She has pooped her self multiple times a day for several days. It's weird watching them regress after so much improvement since they got here. Especially Alyssa. She is driving all the kids insane and embarrassed us at the store the other day. She pushes their buttons by showing her butt to them and even took off her shorts and underwear to pee outside. It freaks them out and she knows it. I am hoping she will talk more about her feelings this week instead of acting out. I can't blame them, I would be angry, too, if my Dad just stopped visiting and had a new baby he found the time to go see.


leel said...

poor little buddies...
i just found your blog, after reading your comment on Michael Schofield's blog about Jani and their struggles to find help for their daughter's mental illness.

i just had to leave a note. i'm not a mom (yet) but I am an aunt, a sister, a wife and daughter, and OMG do I feel for you. For all your kids.

I can relate to the anxiety and detachment they feel - as a baby I was adopted by young parents who wanted nothing more than a baby but still the attachment issues i have i completely relate back to those couple few months of my life. Not fitting. Some of the book the Primal Wound I can relate to. Have you read it? It's harsh, but some might be valid. I suffered from panic attacks and for some reason crushing amounts of guilt since I was 4, so I can relate to that too.

I can only imagine how having to endure everything they have, go through the 'system' and go to court, let alone losing their parents, has affected your kids.

I just needed to say hi. And send a virtual hug. You are such a hero to these kids. And to strangers like me.

Hugs all around :)

Tudu said...

Leel, I have read the Primal Wound. In fact, it was the first adoption book I read and passed it on to my daughter's mother. It broke my heart and scared me to death. We see that adoption has affected one of our daughters and we had her since she was 3 weeks old. The others affect has been more "in your face". Combined with their mental illnesses, life can be very hard. Thank you so much for your support. I hope you stick around and add your .02 cents.