Patches went off today and hit her brother b/c she was mad at Ava. Made perfect sense to me, too. She threw her glasses at Cyr, screamed she hated me at least 10 times, being the equal opportunist she is she announced she hated all of us individually, threw some toys, and finally refused to leave the playroom and began swinging at me. I had to get her on the floor quickly and managed to do so w/o hurting anyone. I had to hold her for almost an hour so my muscles were shot this evening when Ruthie decided it was her turn.
Keep in mind I haven't slept well lately, I had to hold an extremely strong child for quite a while earlier, and I went swimming for 2 hours this afternoon. I was in no shape for Ruthie at bedtime when she refused to pick up her stuff. I asked her to step out of the room and go downstairs with me for a bit. Perhaps she heard, "I am going to kill you now" or "I think you should die" b/c she went off like I said just those things. I was taken back b/c I fully expected she would head down the stairs to sit for a few minutes before heading back up to finish. She attacked me, I picked her up under her arms and carried her downstairs. She kicked me and the walls the entire way down. I put her a few feet from the computer to sit on the floor. She continued acting like she was going to be murdered and had to fend for her life. I was baffled and eventually had to restrain her. The bad part was I was so weak that I couldn't. She is the tiniest 9 yr old I have ever seen and have always been able to properly restrain her w/o so much as a real struggle from my part. I couldn't hold her. My DH stays back b/c he doesn't know how and is afraid he will scare them, I always have things under control and this should have been no different. Realizing I had no strength or that she had become super human, I changed strategies when she screamed she "hates it here and we are mean to kids". I moved and offered her the door. I had to get out of the room and pointed to my DH to take over. He yelled at her and she panicked, didn't move a muscle for a few minutes.
Meanwhile, I was panicked b/c I was hyperventillating. I have never done that. I felt high and couldn;t catch my breath. I began to get scared and didn;t care what the hell she was up to. I couldn't speak. I was shaking so hard and sweating. I still feel weird and it has been a while. He helped calm me and I was able to deal with her consequence of cleaning the playroom after sitting long enough that I knew she was back to herself. You never realized how important it is to properly restrain to maintain control and safety until you can't.
(I am feeling all fuzzy and weird so I am not sure how well I described this and will double check it later.)
About Me
- Tudu
- Deep South, United States
- I am the mother of 10 children, 6 are part of a large sibling group we adopted through foster care in 2006, 2 are our grown foster daughters, 2 are from independent infant adoptions in 2001 and 2008. Every one of them have their own issues to work through from Schizo-Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, ADHD, and Cerebral Palsy. Most of our children have been victims of sexual abuse by a close family member, most acted out sexually or exhibited predatory behaviors. We are currently trying to figure out where the trauma ends and mental illness begins in each of their lives.
10 comments:
I think you described it well - it sounds like you were physically exhausted. I hope you sleep well tonight!
- April in RI
I'm not a medical professional or anything, just someone who has had similar experiences. For me, I consider times like that to be anxiety attacks. I get waaaay tired and pretty darn stressed and it's like my energy peaks and falls and if there's one more peak I seriously crash. I get dizzy and my face buzzes and it's hard to breathe, which is what I think you're describing. For me, I know my husband is awesome at helping calm me. He prays and sometimes reads the Bible to me, but I guess I have never had it happen in public or around others. Mine seem to happen in the middle of the night! I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight! Please take care of yourself =) I'll be praying for you!
I wonder if you had the anxiety attack (at least that is what it sounded like) because you couldn't hold her, or if you couldn't hold her because you were beginning to have an anxiety attack.
I prescribe a day a spa.
And no...I don't hear hysterical laughing in the background. Why do you ask?
That sounds scary, my thoughts and prayers are with you!
Tudu...when I was a one on one assistant with a restraint required child...I had a day like you just described. I was at sheer exhaustion at the end of the day and got that same feeling. I left school went home and crashed for 15 hours. Having insomnia would be hard to heal from such a restraint induced feeling...I have no words to help...only that I know the feeling.
I think you dealt with it very well *hugs*
And even though you felt like you lost control, you managed to kep the situation under control so well done!
I hope you are back to normal soon!
I have had the same thing happen to me after dealing with my daughter's "tantrums". After things calm down, my whole body gets like spaghetti and it is really hard to function. The stress from Patches was kicking in when Ruthie took her turn and it was too much.
I hate to break it to you Tudu, you are human too!
Relax and recharge, you deserve it!
Gerri
It sounds like you had an anxiety attach. You are under a TREMENDOUS amount of pressure right now so it would make sense. I use to get them before and they are awful! I hope things get better for you!! If you keep getting these attacks, you should go see you doctor.
Years ago, I let mine go and I hit rock bottom and was not able to work for 3 months.
The Guy Who Went to Jail was the same way, he had superhuman strength when he was in a fit. You should have seen how he manhandled the cops. I think it's an adrenaline thing, because I can do it too, though not to the same extent. But if I'm trying to do something and I'm not strong enough or fast enough, I swear and then right away give it my all and it works. You should see me driving truck, no matter how good of a mood I'm in, I always swear when I go to pull the pin - that's just the only way I get her done.
All that to say, fear/anger does totally boost a person physically, but then there is so often a crash after. I wouldn't be surprised if you are stronger than usual when you're restraining them, too.
((HUGS))
Tudu,
I see this at work when we restrain kids and there aren't enough people to switch out, and I have also experienced it in restraining a few of my younger siblings. I think it's part anxiety attack, part exhaustion, part emotion overload. I know you do such a great job of being calm for your kids when they're upset ... I'm glad your husband was able to help out this time. Take care.
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