Name Calling

I took the kids to the pool this morning and since it is Pass Holder's Only on Wed, we normally have a great time b/c there aren't many others there. Not the case today. There was a group of about 15 kid and 3 women, now I assume they were a camp or daycare but since people assume that about me and are wrong, I don't know for sure. They were horribly behaved children. Lots of wrestling and screaming, it got to the point the Lifeguards stepped in a few times while these women chatted up. After 30 minutes, there was a high pitched scream and every one turned. One of the boys had been hit in the nose and there was blood EVERYWHERE. It was shooting out of his cupped hands and his face was swelling instantly. I felt so sorry for him until I found out we would have to leave b/c with blood in the pool they automatically closed it for the day. Damn it, man.

I took the kids to Walmart to do our 3 cart grocery shopping. I commented to them about how different it is to take them now compared to 2 years ago and you could hear a collective sigh. I laughed, they are so cute. What did I ever do before them?

I threaten my children, not like you think. Before we go anywhere we go over the expectations. I expect them to keep their hands to themselves, stay close, use an inside voice, not ask for things, not to talk to strangers, not to hug strangers, and so on. It changes depending on the activity and the folks there. One thing never changes and Cyr pointed out that I forgot today before we got out at the pool. She said, "You forgot to threaten to beat us til we bleed." All the kids started laughing. I know it sounds terrible but since I don't beat my kids, they know I am always kidding when I mention it. It has become a family joke of sorts. It will make them smile when they are shutting down or starting to. All I have to do is ask if they need a beating or want one. They beg for them, "please beat me , beat me". A beating in our house is basically a tickle session where I pretend to spank them and they squirm, giggle, and get a swat. They enjoy them so much that I actually warned our AT and our SW before the adoption that if they ever said I beat them to be sure to ask if they had fun before they reported it.


We call our kids silly things like most families do. We use things that make kids laugh and what makes kids laugh better than rear ends and poop. Again, this doesn't sound good on paper but in person it is very loving and silly. Here are a few of the many names I call out to them. Turkey butt, turd bucket, butter bean, sweet pea, skinny minnie, toad stool, my little crazies, toe jam, and love buckets to name a few. I heard my son call me his little crazy today at the pool, it was so sweet. What do you call your kids?

It was finally printed in the paper, they didn't tell all the charges, they fibbed. It made it seem much less of a case and it was on purpose. I love that Det.