Does Anyone Know Where the Fast Forward Button Is?

Last night we went to my sister's housewarming party of sorts. Had a blast. Kids were great. Came home b/c it was too cold to camp out in the lovely tent my DH put up. Woke exactly 2 hours after I fell into a beautiful slumber to race to the bathroom, missing by 10+ feet and puking all over the wall and carpet. It would be simple if I had just done it once but that wasn't the case, I couldn't move for rear of having a very large area to clean. Why doesn't someone else clean up after the sick mom? Do they everywhere else but here? My first thought when I got sick was my dear sister had poisoned all of her 100 guests, those who know her wouldn't be surprised in the least if she had. It seems it is a bug instead, I have 3 more kids on the sofa.

Emma had a blast at her Mother's house. She is starting to understand what adoption really means. Those folks not involved tend to think she will forget her family and just be happy with the one she has now. This is not the case, she loves both families deeply and to stop visits would destroy her. She needs them as much as she needs us. She is wondering about the why, now. Why didn't she keep her? Why did she keep 2 of the 4 girls? She had a good cry after her return home and then was comforted by some sugared up cereal for dinner. She is so smart and compassionate, she is one of the sweetest people I know. She worries about her Mother's loss right along with her one. How many 6 year olds get that?

Today all hell broke loose with Michael, Ava, Ruthie, and Ella. Who knows if it was me in bed or the abuse. They are eating out of the neighbors trash b/c they saw cereal (not the first time they ate like this). They were only out there to play on the front yard but Dad must not check as often as I do knowing the crazy that is within them. Two kids were rolling around on the floor and since that is a HUGE issue my DH lost it and began screaming. We had a fist fight, mini food fight, someone put a fully used pull up on the kitchen counter next to the coffee pot (what better way to say piss off Mom than that?), and since a recent discussion of bottoms tingling I am being told EVERY time they have one. This is not something a mother wants to know. In our case, I need to know while things calm back down but come on, who tingles this much? Can't someone fast forward to Spring so they can be working hard in the garden instead of letting me know they have to go relieve themselves in an intimate way? If is was for attention I could handle it but it is not, they are just trying to be honest and safe.