Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Two Days in One Post

A lot has happened today and not much to do with the kids. I got up this morning and got the kids off to school with only an issue from Shyanne. She is really begining to show her booty and her Mother claims it has to do with MY kids, I do not think so. She is angry at her Mother and rightfully so. Frankee refuses to consider her child has issues b/c her life has been better than hers. Frankee was beaten, starved, and locked in small places for entertainment by her step mother and father so anything is better than that, right? This is hard to explain to Frankee since it means she would have to admit she hasn't been a good parent. Frankee gets so angry at the child for having a bit of a fit and engages in the power struggle giving the child too many choices. She lost it this morning over what to wear, Shyanne wants to wear jeans but didn't have any clean. Frankee felt bad b/c she doesn't have many pairs of jeans. After 10 minutes of screaming at each other Frankee spanked her. We do not spank here and we are having a sit down tonight about it.

This morning I decided to visit a local support group for parents with children under stress. It is a great organization and the first meeting I have attended. I got a strange call from the founder of the organization at 8:30AM and thought something was up. I asked her if it was a small meeting trying to get a feel for the reason she really called. She was polite and asked for me to call her after to tell her how I liked it. I told Frankee and my DH that I would be in charge of this group within a month or two. Only one person showed up and she was a freak show. After an hour and 40 minutes of being held hostage this woman, I knew I was right. She has 3 kids and NONE of them have any kind of disability. I think came face to face with someone with Munchausen by Proxy. She admitted the school and doctors kept telling her her children were fine but she kept telling these stories about how they had to have a protein shake to gain weight. I asked how old and how much he weighed and started laughing, yes out loud. Her son is 8 and weighs 58#, my son is 7.5 and weighs 43#. Who needs the protein shake now? That is only one of the weird things she said and probably the mildest. She tried to give me advice and when I corrected her she tried to talk in circles around me.

I called the office when I got home and asked how I could help increase participation in this group. She asked a few questions and I answered honestly, she told me she was afraid of that and asked me to consider taking the group over. Turns out she had already asked our OT about me and had the idea in her head this morning when we talked. I am excited b/c it only meets once a month and would put us on the top of the list for all the fun stuff they do and provide for families like us.

All of the above was from Tuesday but I couldn't get it to post so I just saved it.

This morning we went to AT with Ella and Michael. Ella has this issue answering adults, she won't she just stands there silently staring at you refusing to speak. We can't quite figure out the issue, does she think she is in trouble, is about control, does she understand the question, does her brain not process quick enough to respond? The AT is convinced it is control, he was able to see it first hand today and said there is no doubt. Great, another game I have to win. We started neurofeedback today and for those of you that understand it (not me, yet) she is 7 to 1. I guess it is not good b/c she and Michael will begin to do this at home with me very soon. He noticed Ella's head is flat in the back and commented on how kids head's become flat. I already knew, she spent most of her time in a crib and considering she had Cerebral Palsy she was left there alot longer than her twin. I knew about the flat spot but it made me so sad all over again for her.

I am not telling anyone in real life but I can share with you that I have exercised and eaten right for 3 days. I even stopped and fed my son fast food (we do it every Wed after AT b/c he checks in after lunch) and didn't eat a bite. I later had a salad and diet drink. Woo Hoo, Me! The holidays and some kind of after adoption let down thing has added 10 more pounds. I knew something was up when my stretchy jeans started to fit and my granny panties became thongs. I am over 200# and am only 5'5". I don't mind being fluffy but this is getting pathetic. I have made excuses about not wanting sagging skin but come on, I will happily tuck my stomach into my jeans to be a size 12. So here it goes I want to drop from a size 18 to a 12.


Mongoose said...

Woo! Good for you! I became determined to lose weight and keep it off about 18 months ago and it was a lot of work at first, but habits form fast, now I don't even have to think about it. I just know when I've had enough to eat and what foods provide more filling with less calories. Good luck!

My next project which I've been on for decades and just not getting to where I want to be, is to stop being negative, critical, judgmental, whatever you want to call it. But that's how I was raised and darned if I can get it under control!

So with that caveat, I don't want to be judgmental of Frankee, but it's not really classy to ask you to take custody of Shyanne, and then turn around and say your kids are a bad influence on her. And I'm sure Shyanne is learning a lot of good skills from you and the other kids. What I've learned in life though, is that the bad skills we learn as kids show right away, but the good ones might not become apparent until decades later.

Keep up the good work! I believe in you. :)

Angela :-) said...

Speaking of the not answering adults thing, I read or heard once that if you wait silently long enough, the other person will talk. Trust me, it doesn't work with my issue-ful children. LOL

Angela :-)

Carmine Crayon said...

did the therapist say what 7 - 1 [hz?] means for Ella? Does that mean does it mean there is too much [ADHD] or there is very little activity going on brainwave-wise [like in a tired state or being "slow"]? I'm guessing the latter...

Carmine Crayon said...

oops, I meant just does that mean there is too...

Tudu said...

Mongoose, you are so right, the good stuff doesn't show for years and thanks so much for your undying support, you rock.

ANgela, my kid can and has sat there staring at me for many hours, I am the one that has to get up and leave the situation or as I tell my kids, my head may spin around and pop off.

Carmine, the AT said it is common in kids with ADHD but she is in a very depressed disconnected state. I have tons to learn on this stuff b/c it is so new to us but I imagine with quite a few kids doing it I will become the resident expert in a matter of months.