Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Kiera's Mother Called

We only hear from her every few weeks by text. She has spoken to her 3 times on the phone since November. She did come to the party last month. I knew something was up when she called last night. She wants me to let the baby go stay the weekend at the mother's father's house. I have heard from her lips that her father does drugs. I was very firm and reminded her of this. He is also a convicted felon and on probation. She was angry and stammered around a bit even pretending I didn't answer. Then she started talking about taking both her daughters to a water park for the day on July 4th. What? They are 1 and 3. They can't ride ANY of the slides. Kiera barely likes the water. She prefers to sit on the side of the pool. I have told her this. She has yelled at me about her MIL refusing to allow her to have her other child on Christmas, Easter, and Mother's Day. I am worried she will think I'm trying to keep her from her when I am not.

I invited her to our home to spend the night next week on her days off. I will not allow her BF but that didn't come up. I want her to see her child. At the same time, she is on drugs. Her current BF seemed nice but looks at least 15 yrs older than he is.

On another note completely, I found documentation in our original file they sent us before we adopted the sibling group that states their father was accused of molesting his sisters as a teenager. This is huge b/c the A.D.A hasn't been able to get the paperwork from the county office due to his sister's adoptions. We now have proof it happened. I sent a copy to the Det. She was thrilled to know it exists and will forward it.

Their father called their Aunt M and Uncle F a couple days ago and claims that he has prayed and the kids will get on the stand and say it was all a lie. He is sure they will take one look at him and "tell the truth". That makes me mad. I can understand that he is lying about it all but to say after seeing him they will "tell the truth" makes me worry he plans on staring them down or something. He is crazy and very mean, at times. He scares the heck out of the kids and is not above being mean. He claims we have coerced them and convinced them to lie about him. Too bad he doesn't know his wife has already admitted most of the truth and plans on a plea bargain.


Wendy said...

I am so glad you will pursue adoption. You gave her mother a chance but unless she wants to change, she won't and she puts the baby in danger. Good for you!

Let the judge and lawyers know the father is talking about intimidating the children in court. They might be able to have them testify in chambers, by video. They should be able to do that.

Lindsay said...

Hope you are able to find a way to adopt Kiera and give her the permanent family she deserves. Certainly sounds like her mother cannot offer her any kind of stability, or even an attempt to try.

Also hope that, if your kids do have to take the stand, it isn't too traumatic for them.

Thinking of you all.

Tudu said...

Wendy, we have been told that they will not allow them to testify on video or in chambers. The accused has the right to face his acusers. I know some other states will allow it but ours doesn't.

Lucy and Ethel said...

Just found your blog thru Parenting the Hoovers and added it to our 'Special Assignments' blog list.

If I didn't have so much WORK to do right now, I'd be starting at the beginning of your story!

We'll be keeping up for sure!


AnnMarie said...

You've got to be kidding--there are no provisions for the accuser being a child! Wow!

Can you guys work with the kids in advance, acting things out, talking about them watching you or the lawyer or the judge or closing their eyes while they talk, and not looking at the b-father?

Nichole said...

The Dads over at Daddy Diaries got a lawyer to persue permanent custody with their foster son. They might have some advice for you.

Michelle said...

I had an (online) friend from right here in GA, who had custody of some kids. After years of trying to allow the birth mom to get her head on straight, they finally proceeded with adoption. I don't know who their attorney was (and I've lost contact with her now), but it was very simple.

The kids had been with her for years, the mom was stalking them and constantly threatening them, and when she threw her keys at my friend, bruising her up pretty badly, that was the last straw. Her kids were terrified of their own birth mom. She had other kids who had already been taken from her by DFCS.

Long story short it can be done....and I've got a feeling it won't be difficult in this situation.

That is very unfortunate that the law will allow the accused to intimidate their accusers...especially in situations like your kids where it involves a parent and violence. Maybe we should try to start a petition or something?