As you can tell, Patches is taking a lot of my attention. I, like others here, feel like we are held hostage by her and her endless rages. I have my moments that I am angry. This has been so long and I want her to stop already. The problem is that she can't. She desperately wants to be better. She asks me all the time if it will improve. She is scared. So am I.
I was just catching up on another blog, she was talking about restraints and her feelings about them. She shared her thoughts on holding before the child is destructive or hurting themselves. You know the brief window of time when they are escalating but haven't done any damage? I agree with this for the most part. As Patches has grown from a children's size 8 to a jr's size 7 in the last 3 years we have adjusted this a bit. It has become more difficult to hold her more than once a day b/c my arms get so weak after being strained for an hour or more sometimes. We had a really bad time b/c of this with Ruthie awhile back. Her AT suggested we try to let her self regulate and leave her be. For the most part, I can talk her through extreme situations w/o terrible damage to our home or her. This is not always the case. I took a few minutes and spoke with Patches about her restraints and tantrums after reading this post. I asked her how the change has made her feel. It took her a few minutes to respond and then she has asked to be held when she starts to get out of control b/c it makes her feel safe. She had told me this some time ago right after her arrival. I am so impressed with her ability to verbalize her needs especially about this. How many kids ask to be held? I love this child so much, I wish she could learn to love herself.