Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Visit and Lots of Drama

I have had an eventful day. One that has caused me to still be up at 2AM worrying that I may be up for the night. We are less one child tonight. I know I did the right thing and so does she.

I started out heading 2 hours North to take Kiera to visit with her GG, Gma, Uncle, and Mother. The visit went much better than I ever thought it could. I really enjoy her GG and upon her insistence have begun to call her Granny myself. She is a lovely woman in her 90s that spent 30 years in a school cafeteria, "for a break from her 5 kids". She claims I remind her of herself and I am thrilled to to accept that challenge. She is smart, funny, and shockingly real. She will tell you the truth no matter how bad it hurts you. I like that. We drank coffee and talked about her marriage, messed up grandchildren, cooking, and even politics. She is not your typical elderly Southern woman and is proud to have thoughts and ideas that are different than most of her friends her age. I barely noticed Kiera and her mother. LOL Poor Kiera is so confused when they call her by her middle name since we don't. She also runs to me when they tell her to give something to her mommy. I try really hard to stay in the background so she spends it with them instead of me.

I stayed longer than I planned and got a call from the school as I was standing to leave. Patches assaulted her teacher and they couldn't get control of her. She had to be picked up. I almost panicked then I remembered Rosa. I called her as my phone began to chirp low battery. I had her run to the neighbor to ask her to get the kids off the bus and head to the school. I called my DH and had him head home before calling the school back to inform them of Rosa's arrival. My phone only lasted a few more minutes before dying and forcing me to drive the 2 hours with no more information than that. It was a long drive and I had to pee from the minute I got on the highway and noticed the baby was already asleep.

I got home and threw together a Ceaser Salad for the kids and took Patches to the ER to be admitted. I knew I wouldn't be returning with her and had it in my mind to push it until they agreed. She was calm and light the entire 6 hours in the ER. My DH watched the kids so Rosa could join me. In the end, they had an officer drive her to a hospital 3 hours away. I have no idea how long they will keep her. She couldn't care less. She was not mad or hurt, just numb. She was shocked by her own behavior today at school and knew this was my only option. There wasn't much pushing needed at the hospital. We lucked out and got a really nice lady to assess her. She was thankful I was so willing to give her so much information and had obviously tried hard to keep her here and every one safe. No one made me feel like a bad parent or that I was over reacting considering her documented issues.

Earlier in the evening, her teacher called me to apologize for her previous comments and disbelief. She had only seen the "good" side of her until today. She was blown away and tried to rationalize the incident. She felt she had turned into someone else and attacked her. She also told me that as a teacher she is disappointed that Patches is basically a body in her class. She makes no effort and has learned nothing. She is not sure how to reach her or if she can. I enjoyed that conversation way more than I should. It felt good to have someone else see her issues, someone that had told me to love her and it would get better. Ha! Patches has been suspended from school for 2 days but there will be no charges brought against her.

Please don't give me a hard time b/c I do not know what we will do about this, if anything. Frankee called to tell me she has a warrant for her arrest for child support. This means she will be spending a very long time in jail b/c she has no money to pay it. In our state, you sit there until you do. Sometimes they give you Work Release but not for a very long time. She has no idea what to do with Shyanne. I am positive she will be asking for us to take her again. I am not sure how to swing it but I feel obligated to do it. She has burned all her bridges and everyone else is using drugs. Shyanne is fine without her mother, she is annoyingly whiney when her mother is around.


Lisa said...

I'm going to call you when we get on the road.

Know I'm sending you a huge hug!

Ashley said...

Would never give you a hard time, Tudu- Praying hard for you today.


Anonymous said...

Sorry, you are having a rough time!

Hopefully, Patches gets the help that she needs!

Lyn said...

We're praying for you's all we can do.

Kelly said...

Hugs and prayers your way.

skirbo said...

Hugs lady. You'll work all this out. Shyane (did I spell that right?) will be so much better off with you.

Sorry that things escalated so much, but at least you have some independent validation now. Maybe she can get the right help this time.


Lindsay said...

Hope the respite of a hospital stay can be good for you all, especially Patches.

I can't believe the constant turmoil you cope with! You have my admiration is so many ways.

Be kind to yourself too :)

Sasha said...

I don't judge you at all. Sometimes it's just out of our hands. All we can do is our best and then some, and you've done that.

These are hard decisions that no one can say anything about even if they think they have been there because every ones situation is unique.

I hope everything works out for you guys.

MyLinda said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You have done the right thing, be at peace and allow things to work out the way they are meant to! ((HUGS))

Mothering4Money said...

You did the right thing. Inpatient treatment may be just the thing she needs to get stabilized in order to safely rejoin the family.

***Sending you strength.***

AmyAnne said...

Holy cow, what a day!

You're a good Mom. You're doing great. I know it wasn't an easy decision today, but it was a good one.


Kath said...

I'm praying for you, and all the kids! *Huge hugs*


Shannon said...

I have spent the last two days reading your blog and I am just in awe of you.
You are such an amazing and caring mom. I just wanted to tell you that.

Casey said...

Oh my goodness...I would never give you a hard time. You amaze me with your love and your strength.

Michelle said...


Just wanted to remind you that you didn't cause Patches problems...and I don't think *you* can fix them. Patches has a lot of hard work ahead of her, as do you, but in the end it will be Patches who has the burden of getting better.

If love was enough, it's obvious Patches and all of your children, would be healed from all their wounds. You're a great Mom and I think your love will take Patches so much farther than the average family could take her. Youa re a great Mom!

musemoon said...

Oh my ever thought about writing a book on your down time (I am serious about the book, but joking about the "down time") I don't read blogs for a few days and your life goes all haywire. I am sending love to dear Patches and questioning weather you are real or not...I am now heavily sided toward the "not real" side.