Here I go Again

Perhaps I haven't been clear about the recent events surrounding my daughter. It's easy to jump to conclusions about a blogger's life when they fail to fill in all the blanks. It is the only reason I can think of that someone would go into Anonymous mode and leave the following comments. The first is about the phone calls.

Maybe you should take the time to monitor who your child is talking to and at what times. Seems like a parenting issue that you are skirting. Your child is a child. In one instance, she is an innocent victim...in another, you are forcing her to be responsible. Make up your mind. Clearly, she doesn't trust you...but you will blame that on her being a teenager... Seems like you should take a long, hard look in the mirror...


I'm positive you don't know me or you would know that we actually power down the downstairs at night. She had to sneak down hit the breaker. Tip toe back up the room the phone is connected to the cable modem and turn on 1 fart strip, wait for it to turn all the on and that takes more than 60 seconds. Turn on the other fart strip and wait for the phone to start back up. Both my DH and I have cells in our room for emergencies. If you would like to suggest we aren't already doing our part, I beg you to tell me what else I can do? The only time the phone has the chance to charge is during the day when she is at school.

If there is one thing about me you could say I am not, it is a parent that skirts my responsibility. Isn't it a parent's job to teach their child some responsibility? She is 13 and her only responsibilities are to do her homework, a simple chore, and work hard in therapy. SHe does not do any caretaking of ANY of her siblings b/c of her history. We have pretty strict rules in our home about and I make sure to follow through.

The other comment on was about recent boy events-

Maybe, just maybe, your underage child shouldn't be spending "alone" time with an older boy...??? Rather than focusing all of the attention and accountability on the young man and his family, maybe you should be an actual mother to your daughter and not allow her to be alone with older children of the opposite sex (especially since you claim they have all been sexually abused repeatedly)...


I couldn't agree with you more on the time alone with a boy. Considering her past and her age, I do not allow it. We have this year began to let her spend the night at her best friend's house. Her mother is a teacher of another of my children. We'd met and we had a very long talk about what we felt was important and safe for my child, in her care. We have an understanding and I fully trust this woman with my child. After some time of regular visits over there, she was invited to spend the night at this same child's father's home. After a conversation with him about my expectations, I was assured everything would be fine there, as well. I extended my trust considering she was not aware of any issues up there.

Your last comment about "my claim they have been sexually abused" is not a claim but a statement of fact. The children not only have the emotional scars but also a jury of 12 agreed it was true and extensive. Because of their history of sexual abuse, we are very careful about who they are with and how they spend their time with friends. This child is 13 and has only spent the night at 2 friends homes, that started this year. This child has had a boyfriend for 3 months (he is a year younger than she is due to spending 2 yrs in K) and all time together is supervised. His parents and I agree strongly about this have had several conversations. None of us feel our children are ready to be making out or making babies.

Now with as many of the details I can think of, if you have any more concerns regarding my parenting please feel free to give me your advice. If you can think of any other ways for me to stay a step ahead of and prevent my very intelligent and some times manipulative child from participating in any dangerous activities, I am all ears. I am a fully engaged parent. I make mistakes, like any parent but I do not make the same mistake twice. I do not feel there is anything more I could have done in either of these situations to protect her any more. The only thing I could have done differently is spent the night with her at her friend's house and slept with the phone under my pillow. A good parent let's their child experience the world a little at time and with great caution for their safety. I am cautious. Her therapist even agreed it was time to let her start getting away from the house supervised and that's what all the parents agreed it was supposed to be.

I had turned off the Anonymous setting for you Mary Anne. Since you still can't figure it out, LOL, I'm putting it back on. I hope that the person leaving these messages will step up and post who you are. I won't publicly name you or post your blog on here, let me read your blog and see what your family is like. If I had to guess, I would say you had a perfectly normal life. Both parents, no DFCS involvement, and you either do not have children or you were lucky enough to have raised children that haven't been traumatized. Prove me wrong.