Sunday, February 28, 2010

A Broken Back

My son fell out of a tree last weekend playing with the neighbor boys. He barely mentioned it to my DH in passing and ran back out to play some more. I didn't hear about it until Thursday night when he casually mentioned that his back hurt. I questioned him a bit about it and gave him ibuprofen. He never complained again. The next day I offered to take him to the doctor or he could go to the Parent's Night Out at the school for a couple hours and we'd go over the weekend. He opted to go to the school. Saturday morning he freaked out and screamed that I don't love him and I refuse to take him to the doctor. He said he keeps telling me he can't sleep because it hurts so bad and nothing helps. He threw everything he could reach at me and sobbed that he knew he had broken his back. It was quite the scene. It took a lot of conversation to prove I hadn't known it was serious and why. When I took him to the doctor, he downplayed it a lot. They x-rayed him and nothing was wrong. It broke my heart that he feels so unloved no matter my efforts. I promised him over and over that nothing will make me stop trying to make him understand how much I love him and he can depend on me.


Jennie said...

Aspie Boy says extreme things like this all the time but that's because he's Aspie Boy and not because he's a RADish.

he falls off the swing - I've broken my leg!

he hits his head on the table - My brain is coming out of my ears!

he thumps his elbow on the corner cabinet - I'm having a heart attack!

hugs to Michael.

Lisa said...

Hmmmmm.....are you sure that it's because he feels unloved? I only ask because my son did the same thing about getting glasses. He told everyone at school (and I mean every.single.person.he.saw) that he was going blind and that I refused to take him to the eye doctor. I heard about it from his counselor because all of the teachers were complaining that he was unable to see the board (unless he was standing nose to board). I informed her that I knew nothing about this, he honestly hadn't mentioned it. When I asked him about it, he screamed and carried on, falsely claiming that he had been telling me this for YEARS and that I just didn't care. I made him an appt. immediately (even though I KNEW....). He threw a tantrum at school the day of the appt and refused to go to the dr. with me. Okay, made another appt for a Sat. morning - refused to get in the van to go. Okay, waited a few months and made another appt (for the same day). I took him in and the dr. says, "well, he is borderline, glasses might help, but they probably won't make much difference really" All he heard was, "Yes, he needs glasses, he's going blind". So, KNOWING, I order the glasses, he gets them (my dh and I making bets on how long they last). Within 5 days he'd threatened to break them 3 times at school and 2 times at home. By day 10 he succeeds in smashing them completely flat at school - I mean, cartoon-style flat and brings them home demanding they be fixed. I calmly reminded him that he gets one pair of glasses every two years with our insurance (something I specifically informed him of when he got them) and that if they could not be fixed, he was done with the glasses for another 23 1/2 months. They couldn't be fixed. He cried for 20 min., accused me of not caring, and I haven't heard a word since. His teacher confirms that he sees the board just fine now and doesn't say a word about the glasses. So, I'm wondering if this is just all a bid for control. I defer to you when it comes to attachment issues though - I'm well-read on the subject, but we don't have an AT around here for me to bounce ideas off of. I have a son who has cried wolf one too many times and so I believe NOTHING he says or does to be genuine.

J. said...

oh the challenges of convincing them that we love them. glad to hear that he is okay in the end, when I saws the title I really thought taht maybe something was broken.

SanitySrchr said...

Oh girl!! Thankfully nothing (physically) severe!! Hope he feels better quickly!