I see that the tiny part I left off made some of you concerned it wasn't legal. I appreciate your concern. Yes, someone came up there towards the end of our "breakfast" to notarize it and the waitress was the unofficial witness. It caused her to overflow with emotion but she said she was honored to do it.
I met the Father at a bank and they did it.
One thing that hadn't really occurred to me, Emma's Mother has had a difficult time with this. She is supportive of this, for the best interest of the baby. It has brought up a lot of her feelings and has cried a lot. She is on my Facebook and has publicly announced it was time to write letters to the 2 daughters she placed for adoption.
Completely off topic, yesterday the kids were talking about sleeping in the tent and Michael wanted to very badly. I was trying how we could do it safely and spoke out loud what I was thinking. I said, "Well, maybe if we put you next to a safe person. " (in our home a safe person is one that has never touch another child or allowed another child to touch them. We have that we, as a family, consider safe. Emma, Ava, Patches. Ruthie is someone we trust but can't put her in that position. Ava isn't someone we trust with the responsibility of another child but is still considered safe.) He knew what I was talking about and got excited, he said, "Cyr, I can sleep next to you." I looked at him weird and Cyr jumped up and said, "I'm not a safe person, yet!" I was so surprised by what they were saying that it took me a second to stop them and make them think about it. Michael felt Cyr was safe. For a moment, he forgot what she had done. He honestly felt she would keep him safe and others safe from him. Cyr knew she shouldn't be put in that position and made sure she wasn't. My heart swelled. My children were forgiving and holding strong on appropriate boundaries. No one slept outside but I was so happy we had that conversation.
About Me
- Tudu
- Deep South, United States
- I am the mother of 10 children, 6 are part of a large sibling group we adopted through foster care in 2006, 2 are our grown foster daughters, 2 are from independent infant adoptions in 2001 and 2008. Every one of them have their own issues to work through from Schizo-Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, ADHD, and Cerebral Palsy. Most of our children have been victims of sexual abuse by a close family member, most acted out sexually or exhibited predatory behaviors. We are currently trying to figure out where the trauma ends and mental illness begins in each of their lives.
2 comments:
"I see that the tiny part I left off made some of you concerned it wasn't legal."
Actually my concern was that it was legal. That is, that the process as I (mis-)read it in your post (i.e., without witnesses, notaries, etc.) was sufficient to deny a mother access to her child forever thereafter.
(And no, I don't have an issue with you as an adoptive mother or believe that you would act unethically, but other people facing the same temptation might. So it was a relief to learn that there were more formalities involved.)
It's so nice to see that Cyr is aware of the boundaries and all that stuff especially. I mean, it's nice with Michael too, but especially for Cyr to know her own "limitations" and such. Progress!!
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