Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Michael is Gone

I have tried to write this post a few times today. It began with Michael telling me a scary story. It moved to making arrangements to hospitalize him. I am finally home and he has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

He asked me to take him to the hospital b/c he is afraid "the man" is going to kill me. Last night, "the man" came to him last night in his room. Michael became scared. "The man"disappeared and Michael ran to my room. He saw "the man" standing on my bed with a gun. "The man" told him if he woke me up that he would have to kill me. He ran back to his room and couldn't sleep the rest of the night. He was visibly shaking when he told me this story this morning. He asked for his green pill b/c he was so upset. It is his anti anxiety med and takes about 15-20 minutes for it work.

Later he told me that he was worried "the man" would kill me or everyone and he would be in trouble for it. He thinks "the man" can read his mind and tell him what to do. He doesn't know how to stop him. He has been so afraid that he would have to go to the hospital like Patches did and when he asked me if he could go I was floored. I knew I had to take him seriously.

We spent hours waiting to get him admitted. He is about 10 minutes down the road in a new hospital that is really the same one the kids were in last Fall but it was an outpatient program then. This is a brand new facility and very nice. I wanted to stay myself. It turns out that there aren't many places that can take a child so young. All of the kids there are teens. This is good b/c he is sexually reactive and needs his own room. He has a staff member that is assigned to him. He will have to stay with him at all times. We can go see him every night.

My DH joined me at the hospital and had a hard time holding back tears. It was hard to leave such a tiny child on a locked ward. It was the right thing to do but that doesn't make it easier.

13 comments:

Kathleen said...

{{{{{{{{tudu}}}}}}}}}}

Anonymous said...

So sorry -- that must have been really hard. It is great that he knew you would help him and keep him safe. I'm glad the hospital is so close and somewhat familiar. Hope they can find something that helps.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry Rachel. I will pray that Michael gets the help he needs and I am so happy he was able to ask for help. (Amy)

Abby said...

That poor kiddo! What a terrifying situation for him to be in to be held hostage by his own mind. Sending up prayers and hopeful thoughts that he can get the help he needs.



I feel awkward saying this, but it's kinda "positive" that he cares so strongly about you that he could overcome his fears of the hospital to keep you safe from the man. *hugs* to everybody!

tubaville said...

I hope your little guy gets the help he needs there. So sorry that it escalated for him. Must be so scary for him.

Joni and Jess said...

Ohh Sweetie, I am soo sorry for what you had to do tonight. Just know you did the right thing to help your Son and protect him and everybody else. He will be in very good hands there. I am glad you are able to go see him every night if you want. I hope this hospitilization is good for him, and they find something to help him so he can return to your VERY LOVING home. You are such a wonderfully loving Mommy to your children. Here's to praying they will help him and he can return home soon!
Big hugs Sweetie!
Joni

MamaKate said...

I have been there too. You did the right thing. He did the right thing. How scary for everyone. {{tudu}}

10 minutes away is pretty awesome, considering.

r. said...

I'm so sorry this is happening. I hope they find some meds to help your son soon.

Ashley said...

Hopeful thoughts for you and yours, Tudu... I hope they find something.

Terrie said...

How terrible. But Michael showed amazing self-awareness and trust by coming to you and saying what was happening and asking for help. That's a good sign.

Jodi said...

If Michael asked to go, he knew he had to go to protect you from the voices in his mind. He's a strong little boy to have made that decision.

zunzun said...

Poor boy...hang in there.

Mongoose said...

How sad. My thoughts are with you all.

((HUGS))