Michael is Gone

I have tried to write this post a few times today. It began with Michael telling me a scary story. It moved to making arrangements to hospitalize him. I am finally home and he has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

He asked me to take him to the hospital b/c he is afraid "the man" is going to kill me. Last night, "the man" came to him last night in his room. Michael became scared. "The man"disappeared and Michael ran to my room. He saw "the man" standing on my bed with a gun. "The man" told him if he woke me up that he would have to kill me. He ran back to his room and couldn't sleep the rest of the night. He was visibly shaking when he told me this story this morning. He asked for his green pill b/c he was so upset. It is his anti anxiety med and takes about 15-20 minutes for it work.

Later he told me that he was worried "the man" would kill me or everyone and he would be in trouble for it. He thinks "the man" can read his mind and tell him what to do. He doesn't know how to stop him. He has been so afraid that he would have to go to the hospital like Patches did and when he asked me if he could go I was floored. I knew I had to take him seriously.

We spent hours waiting to get him admitted. He is about 10 minutes down the road in a new hospital that is really the same one the kids were in last Fall but it was an outpatient program then. This is a brand new facility and very nice. I wanted to stay myself. It turns out that there aren't many places that can take a child so young. All of the kids there are teens. This is good b/c he is sexually reactive and needs his own room. He has a staff member that is assigned to him. He will have to stay with him at all times. We can go see him every night.

My DH joined me at the hospital and had a hard time holding back tears. It was hard to leave such a tiny child on a locked ward. It was the right thing to do but that doesn't make it easier.