Wednesday, May 07, 2008

She Gets It

The second and third conferences went very well. We had Ella's first and we love her teacher. She pointed out concerns about Ella' s relationship with her twin. She feels that even if Ella wasn't so delayed we should seriously consider holding her back to separate them more, otherwise they would still see each other on the playground. Ava controls Ella to the point that Ella has made no friends, if she plays with someone Ava bullies the kid and then runs off to play with others leaving Ella alone. She is mean to her when she does play with her. The relationship is toxic. We have asked for Ella to be retained based on what her teacher from the last school suggested and we are waiting to hear if they will let her.

Ava's was am IEP/conference combined and the IEP was so simple. Ava came to us with serious speech issues, we understood about 10% of what she said. In 2 years she has managed to correct everything but an occasional r sound. Sound too good to be true? It is, we are convinced she was doing it on purpose. When we talked to her about her speech pattern awhile ago we told her we thought she was doing it intentionally and almost all of it stopped. She speaks clearly and has an impressive vocabulary using sentences that include 8-10 words. Drastically different that the 3 word sentences she was using last year. She is one of the smartest kids I have ever met and I can't wait for her to start using it for good instead of evil. LOL

Anyway, the folks in the IEP were irritated we insisted this was faked and wouldn't even listen to it. Things moved quickly and they wanted to keep her one more year and just squeeze her in for 30 minutes every week instead of the hour they had been. I swear they only kept her in b/c I asked if she would be stopping it. As we left her teacher ran after us and said she has some real concerns about Ava. She appreciated the notes I had been sending and would notice the things I mentioned only after I pointed them out. Finally, someone believed us! I practically told this woman I loved her and my DH explained our lack of support from another teacher. She sees Ava as a bully and that she requires alot of attention or she acts out. She seems to pinpoint the weak children and tortures them quietly claiming her innocence the entire time. She said she would've believed her if she hadn't been told about her. She said it makes you feel crazy b/c she is so manipulative about things. I completely understand and I had not considered RAD until after we had her over a year, she slides under the radar. Things just seem to happen to Ava that she can't explain and claims she has nothing to do with. It always revolves around her though so you begin to question things. Once we address a behavior she moves onto another forcing you to look at the possibility it was her. She also cries, alot. Now that I have confronted her on it, she stopped. Same thing with liquids, she used to dump out all the shampoo or liquid soap every time she was left in the restroom alone making us think it was a sensory thing, we told her we know it was her and she moved on to something else. I am not sure how her life will play out but right now I am very concerned at her malicious behavior towards others, she is only 6. Her teacher asked what she could do to make things better in her class, we told her no warnings or emotions, just consequences. She thanked us and said our suggestions have helped in the past and she would be using them in the future.

I have to attend Field Day for Cyr and Ruthie today. I take that back, Cyr asked me not to embarrass her by coming. WOW! Ruthie is really excited to see me. Everyone else is tomorrow. This picture of them is from my phone and not very good. Cyr had to squat and claims the sunscreen I applied to her felt like honey smeared all over her. Cyr, Ruthie, and Ava are the only ones that have a tendency to fry in the sun. Cyr would do better if I could ever get her off her rear and outside, she has dark skin but it hasn't seen the sun in the 2 years I have known her.

***I will crop the picture when I get a chance and put it back up, I didn't think about the Tshirt saying the name of the school. Thanks so much!


Innocent Observer said...

Sweet picture. It does give away your location, though.

Anonymous said...

Thank God for ONE teacher that Gets It to some degree. As long as Ava is Succeeding with her bullying, torturing, manipulating, attention-seeking, malicious behaviors, why should she change? Sounds like you have made a huge difference in her speech patterns and her crying simply by (tada!) seeing through her. Give these teachers some time and they'll start to wonder if perhaps the Mom wasn't correct in her assessment. It hurts their professional pride to think that a 6yo could fool them like that. Any chance of her having a teacher next year who Gets Her before April? -- Rachel

Mongoose said...

I know you have problems with your hips but could you turn dog-walking into a mandatory family activity? Family walks are such a mellow way to promote active living.