Thursday, May 22, 2008

Kinda Crazy Day

I called him, it was really nice talking to him. I related to alot of how he feels about life and family. The rest I will keep to myself.

On a different note, we have this book called "Sex" on our bookshelf. It is a medical book of sorts from the 60s. All drawings of the inner body, nothing sexual about it. They all knew it was there, I remember looking at it as a child and reading through it learning things I was embarrassed to ask. Cyr had her sex education at school Wednesday and got out the book. I instantly was surrounded but kids wanting to listen and look without being the center of attention. I was so proud when a few asked some pretty interesting questions about their own bodies. It was also a moment of sadness when I realized one was trying to tell me she has had intercourse. She was concerned her body was messed up now, even with all the talks we have had about this she is still worried. The incident she was telling me about I was aware of but did not know they had actually succeeded in the act, we had thought it was uncompleted. Poor babies, she was clear she has never done it again and won't b/c now she knows it is not OK.

My son is sneaking and wearing his sister's panties. I adore him and am trying to be supportive in this area since it is seeming more and more likely it is not going away but as he feels more safe he is expressing it more. I don't care who he marries as long as they are nice to him. My DH is struggling a bit with his words but is trying. If we let him, I have no doubt he would be in a dress with heels, makeup, nails done, and panties every day. Not sure where to go with this but to tell him he is loved no matter how he dresses. I am sure for some this is just a phase but not so sure it is for him. I just want to be the kind of mother he looks to for support and feels it.


Anonymous said...

I am usually a lurker, but felt I had to comment on your son cross-dressing. I have a relative that is/was a cross-dresser, and in doing research on the topic found that over 70% are in fact heterosexual.

He started very young using his mother's slip for comfort, then moved into sneaking silky underwear to wear when stressed. In therapy he found that he found comfort in the feel/association of the silky/feminine fabrics and used it as a self-soothing device when stressed. He found other ways to self-soothe and stopped the cross-dressing behavior. Of course, I haven't looked to see what sort of drawers he's wearing, but you know what I mean!!

Tell Daddy to do a little research and hopefully he'll find it has less to do with homosexuality and more with coping.

Lindsay said...

I used to work in an EBD educational unit for disturbed children. We had one boy there aged 10 who cross dressed on a regular basis. He had been very badly sexually abused (I don't know if the two things were connected) and was under the care of a therapist. The therapist recommended he be given specific times to cross dress and he had his own box of clothes he could access for this. He could also cross dress at other times (outside the schedule) if he felt he needed to (eg when something very stressful had happened t him). Maybe something similar would help? At least this way Michael won't be sneaking his sisters clothing and it may help reinforce that he isn't doing something wrong or 'dirty'.

Mongoose said...

I'd also say, he's what, seven years old? He doesn't need a sexual orientation at seven. If it needs worrying about, you can worry about it if ever he comes out to you.

Christine said...

Wow! You have a lot on your plate. Bless your heart.... your doing a great job. Thanks for sharing.