Friday, May 16, 2008

Our First Runaway

Wednesday Patches raged for hours, from 11 AM until about 7 PM. I guess she wanted to reassure us we aren't ready to add more. LOL Not really, she just didn't want to do school work. She shuts down fairly easily and has a hard time coming back around. She went off this time and it wasn't a shut down but a huge meltdown. She screamed at me about how she was going to go to jail when she grew up so her kids would be in foster care, she hates me for taking her out of foster care, she is stupid just like her mother, I am going to quit on her like everyone else, she is a loser, and of course I am a loser. I barely let myself get above a whisper and told her to find me when she was done. I had to peek in on her many times b/c I kept hearing banging and breaking in there. She seemed to calm down at some point and I told her to go ahead and get busy on the chores she had earned. All she did was move her obnoxious behavior to the kitchen. After an hour we were about to sit for dinner so I asked her to take her screams to the deck or her room so we could hear ourselves. She ran out the door and said she was running away. I called after her to be careful and put on shoes. She did neither.

We enjoyed our dinner and checked the deck to see if she was there. Nope. DH got in the truck and went to look for her , she was walking down the middle of the street with cars honking at her. She refused to get in the truck and I called her AT. I really am afraid to call the police so I needed to hear it from her. She gave me the go ahead and I then I saw her at the property line. She was hiding so I walked to her and told her to get out of the road and into the house or I was calling the police and she would likely be admitted to the hospital. I turned and walked away. She beat me to the house. After an hour she calmed enough to allow me to touch her hair. I found a letter in my room later that she had written. She was very upset and felt too out of control. She is confused why this is happening to her again and asked for my help. She admitted she was in the street so I would call and take her to the hospital b/c she has had that happen at other homes before. She loves me and needs me. She has been fine since. We see her AT tomorrow. Our teens used to run away and I myself was a runner in my teens so I am all to experienced with this lovely behavior, sure hope it doesn't catch on.

The others are calm. No issues to speak of. Cyr's boyfriend broke up with her the other day and told her some stupid reason, today he asked another girl to go with him and she is devastated. She is embarrassed mostly. I feel bad for her but I told her the real reason he broke up with her is b/c he was probably in love with me and since I am taken he can't go with anyone else near me. It seemed to cheer her up, she laughed at me.

I found out today that you are coming to see us, BB. I can't wait. Kiki is having a party for Abbie that night so I will see you there. I still haven't spoken to my Mother and I live a couple of hours away so I am afraid that will be the only time I see you. I am very excited for you to meet the kids and they can't wait to put a face with the name.


Maia said...

My heart is so sad when I read what your kids have gone through and how it affects them now. I'm so glad you have such understanding of your kids. They are so precious! Thanks for sharing.

Angela :-) said...

We too seem to see an escalation in behaviors from various children when we've been talking about adding more (out of range of their hearing).

Angela :-)

Anonymous said...

Good work in NOT escalating the situation with Patches -- your kids have the Right Mom with plenty of life experience on your side !! Also
good for her, for being able to explain herself in a letter !! (And are ANY of yours old enough for a BF? not that they will all ask your opinion.) - - Rachel

Nicki said...

I was a runaway as a teenager, too, but it must be scary to have a kid that little run away! At least she seems to know that her running away was her trying to get help... I hope she will be able to find a safer way to let you know when she's having a hard time, though!

Abby goes to Denmark! said...

That's amazing about the letter, just wow.

And I'd just like to say thank you for sharing all of these... moments? incidents? with us here on the internet. I had one of my students melt down at/to me the other day and I thought about you and your strength to catch my breath, relax, and figure out the real reason why he was lashing out at me. (It didn't work out 100% because I couldn't pull him aside too long without the rest of the class going bonkers, but it did help some to at least figure out the problem so I can work with him on it on Monday.) So thank you for the inspiration and patience to NOT snap back at him after a looooong week of acts of obnoxiousness from the whole class. =)

Christine said...

I'm so sorry about Patches. I've only had one girl threaten to run away once. Thanksfully I was able to get through to her that no matter how bad things may seem to get her, running away will always be worse. That was one long winded conversation. LOL.