I was forced to sit and listen to one of my kids scream some lovely thins while she had a small tantrum this evening. After about 20 minutes, I picked up the computer and typed word for word. I only interacted with her at the end when she tried to kick it up a notch by breaking things. She was trying to get me to hold her. I never did. It is full of foul language and a few really truthful comments.
"I don't care who loves you. I hate you. When I grow up I will kill someone b/c i won't take my medicine. I won't go to high school. I love vets. I will watch them forever. I will be a cop and hurt every body. I m the one that let my father hurt every body. I let my mom hurt every body. I don't care. i let Tex touch us too. I will let you hurt me too. I don't care. So I will never come back her forever. I hate ll my family except Ella, or my family ion jail. That's who I like forever. I hate y'all forever. I won't come back. I never coem back to see you. I don't care if i go to jail. I will tell the secret forever. I will tell them what santa is. Forever. here I go I'll tell he secret right now. Every body we are getting a WII for Christmas. Hey, Ella we are getting a WII. See I told them. I told them I would say it. and I'm not going to be that. and I'm not gonna play with the WII. You are a stupid fat bitch. you are gonna be fat always. you aren't my real family. I only love my real family. my real family loves me. Hey Michael we are gonna get a WII. I'm gonna tell every body that we are gonna get it. I don't love dad or you or anybody else. I don't wanna be an elf. yesterday. that was stupid. I'm not finished. boo. I throw something at you. Emma we are gonna get a WII. Santa is dad and mom. they don't want to tell you b/c you believe in Santa. i wanna live on the streets or live with my father. or my uncle whos in jail. i wanna live the rest of my life until i die. I hate Michael, Emma, Ruthie and every body. yeah right. Michael doesn't love me. I don;t love him. Ruthie started it. she told mom I just got outside. she came in b/c she saw me and brought the baby inside. Patches watch the baby I got out there. I called her stupid I was gonna check the mail. I don't wanna watch the baby. I don't care. u don't love me. u won't feed me or let me go to bed. I don't care about you now. what you do to me and do to the rest of the people. you tell Kiera to go to timeout. it doesn't do anything. I'm gonna tell my teacher and friends that you won't let me eat or take a shower. and you lock us outside and take us down. Yeah. Im gonna tell them that. Im still not gonna do my chores. wanna bet 50 bucks. I'm not gonna do my fucking chore. I hate you you fucking bitch. hey Ruthie, we are gonna have a WII for xmas. I'm not gonna play the wii. shut up. shut up. shut up u bitch." she crumpled up her glasses and threw them. she picked up a very hard toy and threw it against the wall she threw a giant truck against the wall "fuck you you old man. do your stupid work. you stupid bitch. I'll run away."
It came to a screeching halt when she decided to throw some dangerous things against eh wall and at me. I had to step up to her and remind her of the consequences. After several threats from her, she ran out the door. She didn't go to far but did manage to scare the crap out of some drivers. I informed her if she put her foot in the road one more time, I would call the police b/c she was obviously suicidal. Eventually, I managed to get her home by standing behind her and it forced her to move toward the house b/c she doesn't want me to touch her or get near her. She is now cleaning up the mess she made before she eats dinner with the rest of the family. (Somehow, my DH managed to make dinner during this in the next room.) She is welcome to take as much time as she chooses. She is in complete control.
She has finished cleaning up now and we talked about what she said. Not the language or the threats, the fact she feels like she let her siblings down. This child admitted to feeling guilty for doing things their parents made them do, to each other. This is huge for her. We had suspected it but the kids have refused to discuss it. She thinks she should have called the cops on them to stop them. Not her mother or any of the other kids, her.