It is a new year and all of my children have survived the holidays with everything in tact. I, however, am not so sure I am still ok. I know for sure I am alive but I believe my sanity has left the building. Our Winter Break is finally over and they all left this morning for school. They were ready very early and waiting by the door to leave. I can't wait to hear about their day later.
The school agreed to allow me to do the brushing in the clinic area every day at 10:45 as long as I am quick about it and my other children behave while I am attending the child. Gimme a break, why wouldn't my kids behave? It was the bigger kids that ate the artwork off the walls. My younger kids are good every time we are there and have never given an ounce of trouble to anyone but me. LOL
The director of Special Education in our school called and wanted to assure me that she is still working on D's IEP. She is having someone from another school (the one she would attend if we choose a closed room) come out and watch her in her class and see if she would fit in. Then I have to go to their school and watch and then we decide if that is what we all agree on. Lots of waiting and not alot of doing, seems to me. I am trying to be patient but this kid has already lost 3 school years b/c other schools took so long .
My wonderful agency gave us a FREE weekend away for adoptive parents marriage training. I know most people would be offended but they actually knew we would love it b/c we both love the training part and no kids is a thought I will be dreaming of until March. I have worked out the sitter part and am gonna pack this week and just wait. We will be going to Helen, GA and enjoying a relaxing weekend with 30 other parents like us. They swear it is not formal training but I don't mind sitting in an office listening and talking as long as it is adults only. Needless to say, I am a little excited. We would have selected a weekend closer but my husband is about to leave for Puerto Rico in the next 2 months and we are not sure what the exact date is so we had to schedule for March.
A detective called me first thing this morning to ask questions about the memory P had a few weeks ago. She will be contacting the parents, family, and our therapist but does not think anything will happen b/c the child that was abused does not remember it. It will come down to P's word against the parents word. That is exactly what I was afraid of and while I wan them to be tried for this crime I do not want P to have to be sacrificed for it. The detective was very clear about children lying about this type of thing, they don't. She said in all her years she has found only one child that did and she has had a history of lying about alot of things so they were weary until she confessed. I believe P, she would never say anything bad about her parents. I hope one day she realizes all she has seen is abuse and properly deals with it.
This whole thing makes me worry about an open adoption. Of course it will be very closely monitored and they will never be left alone. I have no problem telling the parents I believe P and they are not to touch the children other than a hug hello and goodbye. The kids still want to see their parents and are "going along" with the adoption b/c we had told them we would be somewhat open. I hate to be the one that makes it clear that abuse happened and it is no longer safe especially since they want to see them so badly. They are not afraid of them and I keep repeating "as long as you want to and it is safe we will have a relationship with them". I think I have covered my bases and made it clear that if they change their mind they do not have to see them. If I feel it is dangerous to see them I can cancel. I want our kids to grow up with the reality of who and what their parents are and not some fantasy about how great life was back at home. My oldest knows but she is the only one. The others don't remember being home for any length of time and thought it was fun to live w/o lights and water. We have alot to think about over the next few months. I really hope the mother confesses, if she is interrogated alone she might. She is not able to speak for herself and could easily be scared into telling the truth if separated from her husband.
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