We are in the new house

We have slept here for 2 nights. We began our move on Saturday by renting a 26 foot truck from Uhaul. That was the first mistake. As my DH pulled out onto the road his door flew open and he he almost fell out. I am grateful he wears his seat belt or he would be road kill right now. He proceeded to our old house and backed the truck into the drive. We loaded most of the truck and decided to make a run to the new house and later a second trip. We asked the kids to hand up some small stuff to my DH in the truck, our second mistake. A, C, my son, and I were behind the truck and DH and a buddy were inside the truck. The emergency brake broke and the truck began to roll down our drive and was picking up speed! My son jumped off the ramp and ran to the grass. C ran towards the house which was the same direction the truck was going and she was about to be run over. A didn't move off the ramp she just cried. I hopped up on the truck and tried to reach A, all the while screaming at C to go to the grass. The truck plowed into our old house and moved the wall about 3 inches and destroyed the garage door. I had to pull A out from under the garage door and we are very lucky to all be ok.

Uhaul kept us standing there for 6.5 hours with the promise of sending a mechanic. A tow truck finally showed up to tow the truck away with our stuff inside. It was extremely frustrating to be told they were on their way every time we called and no one showed up. They were rude and lied so many times we lost count. They did not return any of the times they promised to and we decided to just show up at the location we rented from and refuse to leave. That worked. They gave us another truck and we just unloaded the stuff from the other one. We still have much to do and much to move but for the most part we are in.

Carpet is in!! Cabinets are going in right now!!! We are moving this weekend!! I am so excited!!

Still Moving

As I type, I am am waiting the illusive carpet installers. They were supposed to be here several hours ago and take 2 days to install it. I am sure they will not be ready for our move in date of Wednesday. The kitchen is a wreak! My Dh has removed all the cabinets and rebuilt the flemsy bar. All of my gorgeous new cherry cabinets are in boxes in the garage. They are waiting to be installed and I am getting impatient. Most of the house is painted, I had to let the painters retire before they finished the kid's bath and the guest bath. They were so slow I could barely tell what they had done in a day. I love the warm earth colors we chose and the girls picked out a powder puff pink and florescent green.

The 4 younger children started soccer and cheerleading camp today. I am sure my son will charm the crap out of the coaches and beat the snot out of a few kids before the week is up. C will manipulate them into feeling sorry for her b/c of her CP and not do a darn thing all week. A Emma will be fine.

Several kids have started meds for the first time, ever. P, D, and A have started Prozac. They all have gone through some kind of a leveling off thing. They became aggressive and crazy before they have gotten better. It was very weird to have A and P acting like idiots in public. P ripped her shirt off and refused to get in the van one day last week. She got so out of control I had to tell her I was concerned about her mental health and if she didn't get a grip I felt compelled to find her other help. She screamed until she fell asleep, she has been pleasant since. D became manic and squealed with delight over the smallest things, she has become so much easier to be around. She is starting to laugh and be silly. She has not cried in several days which is nearly a miracle in itself. My son has started on Risperdal. It is supposed to make him sleepy but he laid in bed for a week struggling to fall asleep so I switched it to the morning. He was so weepy the first week which is not like him at all. His aggression has been slightly calmed but no where near what it should be. I am just thankful he is not crying all the time anymore.

More when I get the chance.......

The Wait

We have been trying to get the children's per diem corrected for a year. Today we got word they have done it!!! Our agency has kicked in a little bit of money for each child since they have been placed with us and we were really concerned it would go down after we finalized. We now know it will be increasing on top of that by about $500. All we wanted is to receive what every other adoptive or foster parent received and now we will. We are over the moon b/c this means we can sign the adoptive placement papers and get the release from the county. We will sign on Wednesday morning and we see our attorney next Tuesday to file the petition for adoption. This long wait is almost over.

I dropped off B, P, and D at cheerleading camp this morning. This is the first time they have ever been involved with any kind of sports activity and P was very scared. I can't wait to pick them up and hear all about their day.

We have scheduled our internet/cable/phone to be turned on at the new house this Wednesday. Problem with that is we will not be moved in by then and so I may not be back here for a week or so. I will update when I can.

The Change and a Photo

I was messing around with the options for this blog and figured out how to add an appropritate picture of the kids. I chose one that showed them all but not their faces. It was hard at first to figure out what to do. Chick filet here has a clown that visits weekly and paints the kids faces for free.

B is the Cheetah Girl on the top left. D is the one next to her on the top right.

A is the Pirate. C is a Dalmation. Emma is the one that has a clean face, she gets it on her arm instead. A is dramaticly painted on one side.

P is no where to be found b/c she doesn't like her picture taken.She runs off and hides.

Tons has happened here this week and none of it was packing! We have had to postpone the move in date, imagine that. The painting is not done, the cabinets are due to arrive on 6/4, and the carpet can't be done until the painting is done. We are hoping next week is the week to move. Anyone feel like packing?

D and P have both started Prozac this week to help them with their depression. P shuts down anytime she has to deal with something to the point she is not progressing with therapy. D cries all the time and does not function doing this. She also told the Psychiatrist she wished she was dead. Several of my kids say this but I am not sure they actually know what this means. A and A both see her next week and I am hopeful she can do something about my son's violent temper and rages.

The Attachment Therapist finally came out today and left fairly quickly saying we were too much for her. She is going back to her office to get her supervisor to take over our family. It is what we had hoped for but still, you don't like to hear we are too much. She thinks we need to have several different sessions going, some attachment, individual, and family therapy. Some will be at out home and the attachment will be in the office.

P flipped out last night and it was pretty scary. Her chore was the culprit. If only she did not have to do her share of the housekeeping, she wouldn't have to threaten me. HA!

School is Out, Let the Packing Begin

I have officially packed the Playroom. That's it. I will do the kitchen today and the bedrooms tomorrow. The rest is fairly easy and should go smoothly. I am throwing out so much due to the fact they have destroyed everything they have contact with. D had a fit this morning b/c I throw out their old homework. I only save things they make from scratch, it has to be a drawing or painting of sorts. I can not possibly keep all pictures they have colored or homework b/c it was a A. I felt horrible and at the same time they know the rule. She wanted to keep a picture she had colored of a chick, she did it at school when they were learning about the chickens they were hatching.

8 days and counting until we move.

Dinner and a Show

I went out for a fantastic evening with fellow crazy parents to discuss horror stories about our children with RAD. I drank a couple of margaritas and had my DH drive. We stayed out until 10:15PM and felt like teenagers coming in late. My MIL babysat and took them to Walmart for new shorts and a toy.

The attachment therapist never called to reschedule. I am a tad irritated with that.

Right now my kids are practicing for a pretend concert. This is such a normal thing to do at this age but this is the first time they have ever done it. I am so proud. Pretend playing is not a strong suit for them, we have had to teach them this skill. I am sure this feeling will wear off after a few of these shows.

M. A. D.

It is a little early in the game to have a definite name picked out but.....
Malcolm Alexander D%^&*(# is what my friend, my DH and I are thinking. He will be called Xander. My DH loves the initials and my friend's father always went by the name his initials spelled out so she really likes it. It is at the top of the list for now. I wish I knew how to post pictures of the ultrasound, maybe I will try later.

Some Good, Bad, and Expensive

Despite my best efforts the kids really irritated me yesterday afternoon. I think the end of the school year is really getting to them. My son went off for no reason what so ever. I had him smile before it got out of control but he insisted on pushing himself to the point of throwing everything off the many shelves in the playroom, throwing down the play kitchen and jumping on it, hitting 2 kids with his shoes, beating up a baby doll, and screaming for over an hour about how much he hates me. What did I do?

C, A, and P took my son's hair gel (yes, he is the only one that wears hair products in our house) and fixed their doll's hair with it. Then they decided to brush their baby's hair and used B's brush so they did not get theirs dirty. B was not a happy camper.

D dumped a bucket of muddy water on P and C for no apparent reason and melted down for an hour. She threw herself on the floor over and over. What is up with that? This child tries to hurt herself almost every time she gets mad. That is pretty scary, she could really hurt herself or leave marks and blame me for them. She has started to threaten to do just that which is why I made her stay in the living room while she chose to throw herself down.

Gosh, sure doesn't sound very positive does it? Let me think of some nice things to say about my little boogers.
B watched The Color Purple and can't wait to discuss it this afternoon. She is trying to get control over her negative attitude towards me and this is her way of finding things to talk about with me.
P is the first to get ready every morning w/o being reminded. She is becoming such a happy child.
D is doing much better at fixing her hair in the morning and is trying to present herself in a more age appropriate manner. She is becoming more aware of how dirty she makes herself and trying to clean up her act a bit.
A has picked out his clothes all week and has been ready for the bus. He has been giving me hugs and kisses all week.
Emma has not whined about getting up "so early" all week. She ate all her dinner last night w/o a word about it.
C has promised to work on her horrible attitude and seems to recover a little quicker for the last 2 days.
A is such a great helper with my niece. She loves to be the big girl and buckle her seat belt.

I went to court for the kids on Wednesday, it was their annual review. At the last minute I was required be there and had to make arrangements for some of the kids in the morning to catch the bus. I had to take the twins and my niece, they put us in a great little room with toys and a TV. The Judge called me into the courtroom and thanked us for keeping the kids together. He told me that he had hesitated in granting the TPR b/c he knew they would be separated when they were adopted. This is the 3rd generation he has dealt with this family and we were shocked to hear they have 3 registered sex offenders in their family. He tried to encourage us to stay the course with them and even though we were having such hard times it would all be worth it in the end. I promised we would adopt them all and make every effort to maintain some of the healthy birth family relationships. It was very moving for me and I found myself fighting back tears. I love my kids so much, sometimes it really surprises me given they care so little about themselves or others.

Two last thoughts, the Attachment Therapist cancelled at the last minute and C's new $2500 stroller will be delivered next Friday.

I Hate IEP Meetings

They suck really bad. I had thought I was immune to the issues I hear others talk about. I felt I had a good relationship with most of the teachers. I was wrong. The Spec Ed teacher works with P and A and has not properly done her job all year. There is no communication between us about her homework. In fact, she stopped bringing it home months ago never to begin again b/c the teacher just doesn't have it together.

SHe and I discussed on the phone a few weeks ago that both P and A needed to be moved to a self contained LD class. Then in the meeting she claims this can not be done. A needs to struggle harder in a regular 1st grade class next year and I am supposed to tell the new school that I want him moved. P will not be able to handle a 4th grade class due to severe issues with reading, she has only just begun. We have seen such huge progress with D in a small setting that I really think this is the answer for both A and P. The teachers all agree but claim their hands are tied. So their solution is to set my kids up for a definite failure and hope they address it properly.

I was handed the IEP to sign and I refused. I had explained in a calm voice for the millionth time, I completely disagree with this plan. They will be forcing my children to change schools again between 9 and 12 weeks after they start the new school. This is guaranteed b/c the new school does not have an LD classroom. My children do not do well with change, in fact, I had to really talk them into moving all b/c they did not want to change schools. I had to promise this would be it. They love the house and agreed.

I contacted the District coordinator for Spec Ed in my county and she knew right away what I was told was wrong. We had been told the reason they can't place them in an LD class is b/c their eligibility was EBD not LD. Children can not be cross placed. This is not true and the school has been improperly trained to believe this. This lady is working on a resolution meeting to clear this up. She was blown away at the idea of having my children after being tossed around in fostercare for 5 years were just to deal with their incompetency. I loved her! She said these children will be placed at day one in the proper class and school. YEAH!!

The Rollercoaster Ride on Mother's Day

Morning was great, kids got up and dressed so cute w/o any incidents. Emma and P wished me a Happy Mother's Day, that's it, nothing from the others until my DH insisted. I would not have said a word but it really upset him. We met my Mother, sisters, and MIL at a really cool cafe and enjoyed Filet Mignon Eggs Benedict while the kids had Buckwheat Pancakes with Fresh Raspberries. It was very good to say the least. Kids struggled at times to maintain but did well. C and D had to get some control over things as we left to cross a busy street and walk around the oldest cemetery in Atlanta, C stopped in the middle of the road and refused to cross. Most had a great time and I convinced them to keep an eye out for ghosts. They were so funny and careful not to step on anyone. After a bit we decided to head back to the van to go up to the new house and see the progress. (More on that later) C and D continued to be royal pains. B had a negative attitude, nothing new there. Things really escalated when we left the house in the early evening to get some dinner and head home. Emma asked to ride w/ Dh and then C did. C had been very poorly behaved and did not deserve the extra treat so she ended up screaming and throwing a lovely fit in the van. The neighbors came out to see what the heck was going on, great way to get to know the neighborhood, huh? SO off to dinner and more attitude and then the ride home. Dunn ta dunn....... C was still very mad and reached into her panties (she had a dress on so easy access) and stuck her finger into her vagina and wiped it on Emma. Yes, you read it correctly. She did this several times not just once, as if once was not that bad. Poor kids were yelling at her to stop and she was smiling this evil smile. Of course once she was caught by me, the tears fell like rain. After she raged for about an hour, she showered and raged a bit more until she slept. What a great day, one for the records.

Cheerleaders and Soccer

My agency is more than great. They are paying for my kids to go to cheerleading and soccer camps this summer. My kids have never been able to join any team sports or activities so this will be very interesting. My oldest 3 girls (B, D, and P) will be gone for a week to cheerleading camp each in their own group. I anticipate an issue with P and D. P is extremely shy and does not warm up easily or very well and D is not able to follow directions w/o lots of one step instructions. This will be great for them b/c they can try it for a week and decide if they like it. E and A will go 2 weeks later to cheerleading camp together b/c both are 5. My son and C (has Cerebral Palsy) have chosen to go to soccer camp. This will be so fun to watch b/c my son gets very angry and does not follow directions well and C runs hysterically due to her leg braces. I believe she will keep up for the most part but she will sleep very well at night. Too bad I couldn't coordinate them all on the same week. They are over the moon, they think they will be real cheerleaders after this one week of practice. Who am I to ruin it for them? Did I mention not one of my children has an ounce of coordination or rhythm in them.

My Birthday

Today is my 36th birthday. Not much to celebrate around here, no cards or cake. Just another day. Except for my brand new Fridge! I didn't think I would be so excited over an appliance but I am. It was a tough call between the stainless steel and black one. Then I found out the SS one can't hold a magnet, the kids would die if they couldn't cover the fridge with pictures. Can't have that now can we? The black ones are so much cheaper so I could afford an even bigger one. I am going tomorrow to look for new living room furniture. That should be even more fun.

The Ultrasound

It's a BOY! I am so glad that we may possibly be adding another boy to the mix. My son and husband were very happy when they heard and Emma was hoping for another girl so she can pick out more pink stuff. The rest just wanted to know what it was.

While we were waiting at the doctor's office A was with E and I and she made a weird comment. It took me a minute to understand, partly b/c she has such a severe speech issue and partly b/c it just did not make sense. She repeated it after E went in the back to have her blood drawn and I caught it. She said, "We have to hide the baby." After a few questions I figured out she thought E was having the baby right then and she wanted to hide the baby from the other kids when we got home to surprise them. Several of my kids say random things and I have to guess what the heck they are talking about. It is very strange and can be pretty difficult to figure out what is going on in their little minds. She was a bit disappointed to hear it will be months before the baby comes home. As a matter of fact, the due date was moved to October 5. It does not change the situation or the paternity, just a longer wait for all of us.

Another Day in the Life

I am back and had a really great time. The people were amazing, funny, and inspiring. They scared me and gave me hope for my children at the same time.

I flew into Chicago and rented a car to drive to South Bend, IN. My hotel was scary! Everyone else was ok with it but I was the one with the prostitute upstairs dealing drugs and up all night. I could hear everything and I was too scared to look out. The bed was as hard as a rock and I am used to a memory foam bed, not so much their fault but an issue for me. The first night I think I pinched a nerve and spent the rest of the trip trying to hide my severe back pain. Two of them were nice enough to escort me to the doctor for meds but I was afraid to take them b/c they make me tired and loopy.

Our lovely host has offered to do this every year and I am so looking forward to the next one. My dh really needs to join me next time.

I came back to a trashed house and the crap being literally thrown at me. I guess they missed me. My son and D have been throwing a huge fit since they stepped in the door and even hollered at the OT. They have changed my name to Mother Fucker and I am refusing to answer to anything else. The rest of the children have been renamed Asshole by them. I am hoping to take the sting out of the names and curse words by forcing them to call me that for a bit. I gotta say it is better than Fucking Cunt which is what my son preferred to call me for the last year every time he got mad. They can scream all night, shoot all week and the trip was still worth it.

E has an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow and I am taking her so I can find out if it is a boy or a girl. I know we will love and adore whatever it turns out to be but I sure would like to even things up a bit around here. Please let it be a boy!! A nice healthy boy that loves to sleep at night and eat all his vegetables. But I love all the pink stuff at the store so I guess I really don't care that much.

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane.............

Tomorrow!!!! I am going to meet some folks from my 2 favorite adoption forums for Mikestock! I can not believe I am going. I really can't believe I am spending so much money on myself. The kids had a therapy session trying to deal with my leaving for 4 days. I should worry about their feelings but I don't. They will all be fine. I have told them my schedule a million times. I have planed fun things for them to do while I am gone. Their father is here to take care of them and he is the fun one so I am sure they will all survive.

I have been really good to my DH, he will only have the older 3 girls over the weekend. My sister will be here when the kids get home from school both Thursday and Friday. The twins will be going to my MIL's tonight and returning Sunday. Emma and my son will be joining them Friday night for the weekend.

I will be completely out of touch!!!! I gave them the hotel number but I will not be there, LOL.

We Played Hooky

We are feeling better today but after the kids were all ready for school a couple complained of a headache again and out of nowhere I asked if they had ever played hooky. No one knew what it meant and so I explained it is when you stay home from school or work with no real reason but you hang out or do something fun. They just stared at me while I smiled. They can not read my emotions no matter how much I am smiling or frowning and I am beginning to wonder if they ever will. Anyway, I just said, "You can all stay home if you promise to help me out for a bit!" They got so excited. I made breakfast and got showered. I had them start to separate and bag up all the dirty clothes that have been building for the last few months (since I was so sick) to take to the laundry mat. Now that does not sound exciting but they had never been to a laundry mat and had no idea it was work. LOL I tricked them!!!! They did get to play video games while we waited and we hit the Mexican Restaurant a few doors down afterward so they did have a good time.

As we passed Babies R Us on the way home they begged to go in there to look for the new baby. I figured we had a bit of time to kill so we went in. We haven't purchased a thing for the new baby and do not plan on it until the last minute. I hate to pressure my friend with a room ready for her baby and at the same time I worry I am offending her. That is neither here or there. The kids are really excited and want to get everything now. We looked and discussed in great detail their preferences on a pack and play, crib, bedding, etc. They do not care what the baby is they all (except my son who was not there and is another story) want another girl. They want the nursery to be pink and pink and more pink. Pregnant woman and couples with new babies were all around us staring and began to approach us. We really draw a crowd at times and this was bigger than usual. I guess they couldn't believe we were having another. They were all really nice and the kids love the attention. They proudly announced they were having a baby and we were looking for stuff. This is one of the few times we were not discussing adoption as well. My kids are way to free with information and spread the word about adoption to anyone that will listen. They are so proud they are about to be a real part of our family very soon.

P just came in crying, she stepped on a wild lizard they had caught the other day and it is dead. She is mad because the kids are talking about it and they are making her feel bad. Truth is I am glad she feels bad, this is huge progress. My son on the other hand, was caught still playing with the dead lizard. GROSS! He seems to be escalating in the gross and nasty department, he has been torturing bugs and likes watch them die. I will be watching this very closely!

Time to pack for Mikestock!!!! Well, not yet but I want to pack everything now and wait at the airport for a few days for my flight.

Getting to to Know Each Other and an Admirer

I am still not back to normal but doing much better. I spent way too many hours at my friend's (potential birth mother's) extended family's home. I was complimented on my children's behavior and manners many times and I was so proud of them. Most of them were not feeling well but they really wanted to go and jump on the moonwalk. Her family was very vocal about their support of the adoption. Her cousin had placed her first born and has some real negative opinions about open adoption. Most think this is the best thing for her to do but seem to support her either way.

I met her husband for the first time and he was a lovely man. He obviously cares for her. He is not the father but will be required to sign the paperwork because he is her husband. He told her he would do whatever she wanted and we seemed like really nice people. He will be there when she gives birth and is not looking forward to seeing her in pain. I wish their marriage was more than a friendship and one of convenience because they do seem to care for each other just not in that way.

My son handled himself very well yesterday and is snuggled up next to me constantly because I am not feeling well. It is so sad to me that I ave to remind my children I will not leave them so often. It is very necessary and I do it now without even thinking but so sad is has to be this way.

My husband has an admirer. I am not the jealous type and he does not even see it. This is happened a few times in our almost 13 year marriage. It is always much older women and they just adore him. He never sees it, LOL. This current admirer is the last owner of the house we are moving to, he knows her from work. He builds commercial buildings and has to coordinate with the new tenants (her) to build out the space specifically for them. They have had to go over alot of things at work and about the house. She is a really nice lady but I could see this coming a mile away. She had her soon to be Ex there this weekend to move out the rest of his stuff and she was scared and wanted my husband there because he is 6'5" and about 275#. He is the most gentle thing but he looks really scary and mean until he starts laughing. Anyway, he was too busy and sent over one of his guys and she had a bed made up and told him to take a nap if he wanted. What? The house was almost empty and there was a bed made up? Take a nap? Poor guy called my husband and told him he was really uncomfortable and the Ex never showed so he was on his way back. This lady had set this up with my husband in mind. My husband still thinks it was just her being nice. He is an idiot! Thank goodness a faithful idiot.

I am Sicker Than I Thought

I took the kids to the pediatrician and she walked in and suggested I may have Scarlet Fever. What? That is a childhood illness! Not in my case. She did a culture on 4 of my kids and my niece and they all have Strep. She told me to run not walk to my doctor.

I took the kids home after I got their prescriptions filled and had my sister watch them so I could head to the doctor. Turns out the pediatrician was right. I have Scarlet Fever. He gave me a HUGE shot in the rear and an oral antibiotic. The best part is the humiliation I will feel meeting many of my online friends next week with my face, neck, and chest peeling. I will look like Reptile Woman or something.

I can't stop scratching and I look like I have been slapped a few times with a lovely white moustache. I am swollen almost unrecognisable. I look ridiculous and feel terrible. The worst part is my breasts itch so bad and how do I scratch them without looking weird. It is completely inappropriate to yank them out and go at em like I need to.