A Big Weekend

I have posted about our issues with finding a new psychiatrist. We have a new one that is scheduled for March 30 and our male therapist will be going to the appt with us. I am so glad. I told him I was concerned it was the way I was relaying the information because I am having such a hard time. He insists it's not but offered to come for support and back me up.

I had arranged with our pediatrician to provide scripts for the kids until then. She had asked for a letter from our therapist with a list of the meds, verification they were necessary, and that we had been searching for a new p doc. What changed suddenly was her need to see them and a full schedule until Monday. I ran out of meds last night and within 24 hours our lives could be in shambles.

Here's hat we all agree would happen because it already does and it would just be worsened with the lack of meds. Patches would think Michael is trying to get something over on her or is trying to get her in trouble. This would escalate very quickly into a screaming match. Patches would start to hit her head against the wall or floor and pull out large chunks of her hair. She would threaten to kill herself and then make attempts to do so. Meanwhile, Michael would let out a primal scream out and run to his room. He would throw every item in his room into the hallway while making threats to kill Patches or myself. He would slam things against the window and when I peeked in to be sure he was not hurt he would try to punch and kick me. He would escalate until I had to hold him to prevent injury to myself. If I stay away, he would search me out or turn on one of the kids. Ruthie would have become agitated at the first sounds of a scuffle and completely dissociate by the time I have to physically intervene. She would threaten to kill herself and me, attacking me physically by jumping on my back while I hold her brother in a safety hold. The moment it had begun to get loud, Cyr, Emma, Ella, and Ava would have taken the baby to the living room to play music and dance. Cyr would until every one was distracted and come try to help. Eventually, we would have to call the police and have them all hospitalized.

How do I know this would happen? It is exactly what happens several times a week. The only difference is the phone call to the police and hospitalization. I know it would escalate to that point because since the meds have been introduced the intensity of their episodes have dropped tremendously. Without them, I can only assume it wouldn't calm down within hours, like it does now. Yes, they last hours. Some times all day long before they wear themselves out. Two or 3 of them would also begin to hallucinate and 2 of them would cry uncontrollably for hours for no reason. They can not help themselves. There is nothing we can do here that would avoid this from happening. But I have a plan.

I sent out a text to all the people that we trust and asked them to each take a child. See, the kids are triggered by each other and so if we separate them that won't happen. Yes, they will still be on edge and be extremely moody but they do so much better around people they do not associate with our immediate family. They are unsure about their surroundings so they will be quiet and more cautious about their responses. They will not have chores or responsibilities. They will be treated like royalty.

They all feel safe with the member we are sending them with and we put a lot of thought into who gets who. Patches asked to go to my sister's, Kiki. She said Uncle Todd can keep her safe because he can restrain her and has handcuffs and a gun. As an officer, he is very strong and used to dealing with mentally ill people. This was her idea. Michael is going to my MIL's to play video games with Papa. He gets lost in the games and is afraid of Papa, to some extent. He will have the dogs to help keep him calm and no other children. Ruthie and Emma will be going together to my Mom's, Gorges. Ruthie is about 5 yrs old and very girlie. My Mom loves to bake and do girlie stuff. They will be great together because Emma will help distract Ruthie from crying for hours. They will be surrounded by a lovely community of elderly woman. The twins will be going to their birth Aunt and Uncle. This was perfect for them because they won't be triggered by too much because they have the fewest memories. Ava may have a hard time trying not to cry all day but she will feel safe and adored there. I will have Kiera and Cyr. Cyr has plans with my DH to go to some all day concert Saturday. I plan on watching movies and eating the many meals Kiera cooks for me. I'm sure she will rotate between being my dog and my Mommy all day. I will be available to the kids by phone any time they need me.