One of my children has figured out how to stop me from having any fun. Let me clarify that my idea of fun is not nearly as entertaining as you might think. I'm talking about trips to the grocery store or pharmacy, mostly. Jealous? This child goes nuts when I leave. She waits until I'm good and gone and then loses her crap on the person in charge, usually Rosa. Yesterday while I was at Sam's, she got things moving with a few good old fashioned threats. "I'm gonna stab you, pull your hair, and break your glasses." She did 2 of the 3. Rosa ended up with a black eye and this child a bloody nose from hitting it on the TV stand when she was flipping out. Poor Rosa felt responsible for the blood loss even though it was clearly not her fault. My children are rarely upset or scared by tantrums but are terrified when they occur without my presence. It says nothing about the other adults actions or skills. They need me to feel safe.
The crazy things our kids shout out while raging are the usual stuff you hear. "I hate you" "You stole me from my real mom" "I only love my real mom" "You hate me" "you love everyone but me" etc. This child screams the same things at Rosa. Clearly Rosa had nothing to do with their adoption or removal from their parents. She has never met them. This child loses her crap, freaks out, and throws around some allegations. I'm wondering if this is her inability to get past her abandonment, her belief that the world is out to get her and that everyone worked hard to take her away from her parents, or what.
I was called to return before the shopping was complete. I had to wait for my DH to provide back up so I could get groceries. I'm sure you are thinking the easy fix to this is to send one of the other adults to shop for groceries. There are 2 main reasons that is not going to happen. First, they are not nearly as frugal as I am and spend more than I would. Our budget is tight and I can do it without a problem but add in a man and we starve. Second, it is my only form of a break. I NEED this outing.
Here is my dilemma. If I stay home, she wins and I lose. If I take her with me, she wins and I lose. When I leave her with another adult, they are attacked and injured and my other children are terrified. She is getting more and more out of control and is unable to be logical. She doesn't care about consequences. She lives in the right this very minute. I need suggestions. I'm so angry that I can't think clearly. At least with my son, he is so small that he can be contained. This child is bigger and does damage to herself, property, and others.
I want to mention that Patches had the prefect opportunity to pitch a big fit today about her new clothes. She was asked to put them all on hangers and pick up her room. She laid on the floor, weighed her options, and got up and put everything away! I made sure to point out how awesome she is.
I started watching The Soloist last night. I got too tired and fell asleep in the middle. That had nothing to do with how good the movie was. It was great. I was amazed at how much his speech reminded me of my 3. There were differences, he was highly intelligent and mine are not. He understood things they can't fathom so he tended to change subjects a little faster. My kids sound like that but they stammer on the same thing becoming lost in the topic. When they tell me a story about anything, they can't get it out. You have to commit to a long conversation for a tiny bit of information. They run around the words and get off on tangents. You have to bring them back to the original thought or topic several times. It is the thought disorder part of their illness. They can't follow along or lead you in a direct path. They have speech issues which add to the problem. It is exhausting for all involved.