I know a mother that runs to her children's rescue to the point it is unhealthy. You may know the type as a Helicopter Mom from Love and Logic. She has younger grade school children, intelligent and fully capable of doing a few things for themselves. She insists on "saving" them constantly. They will whine or cry to get her to run to fix things for them. Anything from a spilling a drop of water to sitting through every step of their homework instead of having them ask for assistance when they need it.
Most of you agree, our job as a parent is to teach our children to be independent. Teach them how to do for themselves but help if THEY need it. Some parents get confused and keep their children dependent on them by doing everything for them. They need to be needed by their children. They can't let their children make a mistake or screw anything up. Perhaps they worry this will make people think they are a poor parent. I know this person thinks it is what makes her a good one. I see her cringe when I don't follow my children around and fix all they do.
I let my children feel the consequences of their actions or lack of. I am always available to help but I rarely step in unless they ask for it. So what if they lose 5 minutes of their recess for not bringing their homework back. If they whine, it's an automatic "No". They may refuse to wear a hat and gloves outside, they are chilly today but I bet they grab them tomorrow. I feel my children can wait at the bus stop, it is at my driveway, for 5-10 minutes without dying. This person puts them in her vehicle and waits with them. It seems like overkill. We live in the south, it's not like they are out in subzero temps. Only a handful of days a year it's below 40 and it's safe because it's in their yard.
Give me your thoughts on how you prepare your children for independence. What drives you crazy about other moms? Are you a fixer, too? How do you think this type of parent helps or hurts their children? How old is too old to sleep with you when it isn't because you believe in the benefits of co-sleeping, you just do it so you don't have to hear them whine? When should they try to pick out their own clothes (approved by Mom), brush their own hair (touched up by Mom), and get their own homework out (assisted by Mom, if needed)? What can your 7 and 8 year olds do for themselves? What should we expect from children that have lived with their parents all their lives?