tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post7924308225980730374..comments2023-07-29T10:18:53.786-04:00Comments on Finishing Off My Family: I'm Being Held HostageTuduhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02905378586653219136noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-73025996643766854432010-02-06T22:20:28.277-05:002010-02-06T22:20:28.277-05:00Well I to but I dream the collection should acquir...Well I to but I dream the collection should acquire more info then it has.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-77801918570548441622010-01-04T19:09:47.425-05:002010-01-04T19:09:47.425-05:00I don't know if this is remotely possible with...I don't know if this is remotely possible with all your other kids, but can you take her and another adult with you? Make her stay in the car while you do what you need to do? It might not work, maybe she will destroy the car, but just a thought. Good luck.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13107152046256741227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-15076162477154655442010-01-04T12:30:23.594-05:002010-01-04T12:30:23.594-05:00I don't have any suggestions but I too have go...I don't have any suggestions but I too have gone back and am reading your blog from the beginning and I am in total awe of you. I have one bipolar son and he's wonderful but he can be a real handful. You are a super mom!Meghttp://www.raisingbipolar.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-37268182482956582792010-01-04T11:35:19.693-05:002010-01-04T11:35:19.693-05:00Kathy, this is a new behavior. We have done the b...Kathy, this is a new behavior. We have done the bottles and holding and you are right, it works. I spoke with her last night and it seems as though this is her way to hurt me. She doesn't want me to have "fun". She said, "It's not fair you get to go somewhere.". I guess, if it was up to her I'd spend the rest of my life sitting here waiting for her to want to play with me.Tuduhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02905378586653219136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-78958052446029864742010-01-04T10:10:49.091-05:002010-01-04T10:10:49.091-05:00Take her with you. Put her in the cart or have he...Take her with you. Put her in the cart or have her hold your hand. She has a deep sense of abandoment and while it may seem to be a pain right now she needs to know you are there. Maybe start by leaving her for five minutes a day, then 10 just to get her used to having you come back. Remember an infant at first they cry when they can't hear you because they get scared and do not know if you are there. So you usually say it is okay mommy is here and they relax, after a while you are able to leave the room for a short period and come back and they are okay with that because they are learning trust. This little girl has learned know trust, she is still in the infant stage. She needs to know you are not going to leave her, that you are still there. Over time as she developes she will learn trust and be able to handle you leaving. It is part of the bonding process. One of things I used to do with infants was put them in a pouch and walk around with them all day. That didn't spoil them but helped them feel safe. Well you can't do that with this little girl but you can put her next to you. the other thing is try 10 20 10. Ten minutes a day hold her like an infant , read to her, sing to her, feed her something sweet, then 20 minutes in the afternoon and ten in the evening. Usually after bathtime and right before bed. It works. I hope these ideas help. You are in my prayers. I have tried these idea and they work. Also on other thing , this is going to sound strange but my 9 year begs for it, I hold her and feed her a bottle. She never got that and she craves that. It sounds wierd but a therapist suggested it and I tried it. Now she will beg me for it. I say as long as she needs it go for it. <br /><br />God bless<br />KathyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-67815722294650491042010-01-03T21:40:28.272-05:002010-01-03T21:40:28.272-05:00WOW! I finally read your whole blog. I'd say i...WOW! I finally read your whole blog. I'd say it took me about ten days. I have a lot of time on my hands since I broke my ankle and I appreciate you and your family and getting to feel close to you through your story. I feel especially strong in my heart for Patches... she is such a beautiful child but her eyes are so full of pain. I see myself in her. I experienced abuse growing up and I know it was bad but I'm not really sure how bad because I can't remember it very clearly. I have some vague memories of incestual situations but I really don't know if they're real or just dreams... Being in my mid-twenties now I have witnessed my family falling into shambles and experienced a tumult of psychological problems since I left home at 17 and before that. I am married now to a good man but I want all the naysayers out there to know that I would have given anything to have a mom like you, even now. Kids need logical boundaries and unconditional love. I will never get to experience that from a mother and I'm sure I'll always long for it. Anyway, sorry to ramble, but you are appreciated.zell_zytehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03574556296859046854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-76743113369980979652010-01-03T17:48:54.617-05:002010-01-03T17:48:54.617-05:00No suggestions, of course. You would certainly kn...No suggestions, of course. You would certainly know better than me. That has to be horribly frustrating. We all need a break every once in a while, even if it means a trip to the store.<br /><br />But it was interesting reading that last paragraph. I experience this type communication with Nate and Beth. Frustrating. Leaves me shaking my head lots of times never knowing what they were trying to tell me about.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18183426821328179143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-46096858353282474562010-01-03T17:27:53.198-05:002010-01-03T17:27:53.198-05:00I don't know if this would work but could you ...I don't know if this would work but could you take the other kids out and leave her home with the adult in charge alone. I know it means you don't get a break but it might mean that she gets less success with her tantrums/threats. Good Luckstellarparenting.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04975942737904876508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21448744.post-91341117947080274412010-01-03T16:50:15.089-05:002010-01-03T16:50:15.089-05:00I totally get your 2 reasons for wanting to go to ...I totally get your 2 reasons for wanting to go to the store. Those are the same reasons I go also.(but on a much smaller scale LOL)Your patience with your kiddos is so amazing. From their illness to their behaviours to their speech. I am so hoping this new year will bring you some much needed relief.Thinking and praying for you. Stay strong<br /><br />blessings<br />Kim ChrismanBook Loverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07077120639531349677noreply@blogger.com