Patterns of Behavior

Michael is in a funk lately. He blames me for all his problems, of course. He wants a new family. He wants to only do his homework with his teachers. I'm mean because I ask him to shower or brush his teeth. While he was in a huge tantrum last night, Ruthie began to scratch her skin off her ankle. She dug in over and over until he was done. I had hoped we had passed by most of these self mutilation issues but it looks like they just change their presentation. I am relieved she is no longer choking herself and pulling out her hair but cutting herself with her nail isn't what I had in mind for a good time. The sad thing is this isn't for attention, she doesn't want to do it, and she very upset afterward. She is so traumatized by him that she can't calm herself. She said she worries I will beat him. I will admit, I have fantasized about a good butt spanking but I do not do it. I have never attacked him. I am always the person injured, if there is one. She has been here much longer than she ever lived with her parents. You would think that the longer they are here, the more stable they become. The safer they feel. This isn't happening with her. We have waves of pure craziness. Sometimes months she is out of control and then she is back to sweet, loving self. Michael and Patches, too. I'm starting to see some patterns emerge.