Sunday, January 17, 2010

I'm Done, Stick a Fork in Me

She claims I am delusional and make up all the issues her kids have. It's extremely sad that she wants to blame me. It's even sadder that I don't care what she thinks. I know her children were struggling before they came. They struggled while they were here. They improved on many things and I hope they continue to improve. I am sure it was difficult for them being in our home with so many kids but that is not the reason they have a hard time and she knows it. She is now blaming my kids for their behavior. She crossed a line when she began blaming them. They did not attack her children, it was the other way around. Mine have held their tongues and cried many tears about how mean she was to them and about all the things she has stolen from them. We have spent way too much time in therapy trying to help my kids cope with her and her children. I wish her well and goodbye.

14 comments:

Linda said...

hugs, tudu.

Jennie said...

oh! my heart is breaking for you and for your grandchildren!

Joanne said...

I've been following your blog for a while, but have never commented before. I know how hard it can be, I adopted a sibling group of three at the ages of 5, 8 and 11. I wish the best for you in your difficult situation.

Innocent Observer said...

What a sucky situation. I'm so sorry. You gave all that you could...you are pouring your heart into an empty vessel...the more you pour, the more she needs.

You gave them all a great gift over the past year and a half. I feel so badly that it had to end this way, but I also think this is the only way.

They all made incredible progress in your home. That's because of you! She may need to run away in order to move on, but she will be back again...when she is needy and willing to take more.

It's just so sad that as amazing a mother as you are, it's always going to be a one way street.

I hope that the appreciation you get from the adult in your life (and the internet!) is enough to fill your tank for another day!

I love you!!!!!

Kerry

Kate said...

I am so sorry. I really hope her kids get the help they need.

J. said...

hang in there, it is the right choice even though it is a really hard one.

mrslilypond said...

That's so sad. What a lousy situation for all of you. Hopefully though with her kids gone your others will may be not so stressed and some of their issues (like Michael's funk lately) will ease.

Abby said...

I'm so sorry, Rachel. It's such a sad, sad situation. I hope she can get herself and those kiddos the help/support that they need.


Keep your head up. You're doing wonders for your young ones at home and someday your oldest will come around to realize all you've done for her as well. *hugs and prayers*

marythemom said...

You (and everyone here), know that you were/ are doing the right thing. I think she knows it too, and I hope someday she can admit it.

Hugs and prayers,
Mary in TX

Anonymous said...

i dont know you... and all i want to do is give you a hug.
heidi

Lisa said...

She sounds like a spoiled brat!! I know I'm probably being judgemental and harsh here - so be it. I have been reading your blog for quite awhile now and I'm sure you've done way more for her than you've even blogged. Many, many of us who have adopted from the foster care system know how tight money is when you're trying to raise a large family - every penny seems to be allocated. Then you took 4 additional people into your home and supported them - that's a huge undertaking and one that many people would not have even attempted. That's just the financial side of it. The support you have given her and her children is monumental. All of the things you've gone thru over the past year + should have been learning lessons for her. Should have helped her grow as a woman and mother - you've helped her get a future just by supporting her going to school - and now that she's done with the academy she's done with you?? Someday she'll understand just what you've done for her - little consolation right now I'm sure - and be ashamed of her choices. Until then, just be the better person (still) and keep loving them all. They don't have to live in your house for you to keep letting them know you love them and they will always be part of your family. You are a wonderful person/Mom.

Anonymous said...

It is very interesting for me to read that post. Thank you for it. I like such topics and everything connected to them. BTW, try to add some images :).

Anonymous said...

Hope no news is good news for you Tudu.
I also hope that you get a chance to let us know that your're ok.
Someone has to say this, and it may as well be me, since you're in it, maybe you didn't see this coming, but this was the only safe outcome for your current situation, and hopefully sooner rather than later, you'll know that.
Besides, you still have way too many children to keep you busy!
I join you in wishing them the best and I also know that even though there are probably a lot of raw resentments etc., that you really mean it when you let them go with good wishes.
It could have been so much worse!
Feelings got hurt-a lot of people's feelings, and you all would probably do it different if you had it to do again, but from an outside point of view it didn't work out so bad.
I hope that your kids aren't filling-in the void with horrible behavior.
(keeping my fingers crossed on that one because that's unpredictable, it could go either way I guess-so please let us know that everyone is ok.)

Joy said...

I found your blog from another one that I read. I have read every entry you have posted here. All I can say is THANK GOD there are people like you in this world. ONes that can love unconditionally and whole heartdly because I know even though I work with children everyday I could never accomplish as much as you have done. Great job and always know that you are a wonderful mom.
Thanks for letting me enjoy your blog.