Kids are still hanging in there. It is so quiet around here lately. Kids are processing their emotions very well. They seem to have a firm grip on reality and understand on their own what is going on.
I was surprised by one of the suggestions of our therapists and have decided to hold off, I'm sure she will just disappear again without causing any more trouble. She has too much to lose if she starts spreading any more lies. She confided too much to me that would damage many around her and her future. I just want the drama gone and she seems perfectly willing to go.
About Me
- Tudu
- Deep South, United States
- I am the mother of 10 children, 6 are part of a large sibling group we adopted through foster care in 2006, 2 are our grown foster daughters, 2 are from independent infant adoptions in 2001 and 2008. Every one of them have their own issues to work through from Schizo-Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, ADHD, and Cerebral Palsy. Most of our children have been victims of sexual abuse by a close family member, most acted out sexually or exhibited predatory behaviors. We are currently trying to figure out where the trauma ends and mental illness begins in each of their lives.
4 comments:
I didn't want to say anything about this while you were posting about these latest challenges, but we were in a situation where we gave a teen a place to live for several months, she just "loved, loved, loved us" and then due to a conflict with one of our older daughters, she moved out (back with her bio family). Within a few months she was calling cps to report us for OUTRAGEOUS things. It was devastating for all of us. I truly believe this girl suffers from borderline personality disorder. It has been almost 3 years and to this day she will still claim she was required to report us because she had a job that made her (she got a job in a health care facility 2 mos after she reported us - if that's what she's talking about - makes no sense to anyone) and that it is all MY fault that all of us were traumatized by the investigation since if I hadn't been abusive, she wouldn't have had to. She KNEW the issues my kids have, it didn't matter. I think I gave her the ammunition to hurt me because she asked me lots of questions about adoption/foster care and I gave her info. about how the worst thing you can do is make false allegations against a family who is working so hard on these kids lives. Stupid me. My advice (like you asked - lol) is not to underestimate her anger. She seems slightly detached from reality (in denial?) when it comes to her kids issues and just the fact that she owes YOU big time for all you've done to help improve their lives. The phrase, "no good deed goes unpunished" comes to mind. Her emotions do not have to make any sense, and you cannot possibly understand them right now. Maybe maturity will open her eyes - maybe not. Either way, you cannot underestimate the insanity of the whole situation. It shouldn't have ever gotten to the point it has - and yet it did. Don't panic or worry needlessly, just keep your family covered.
That's exactly why I made this post. She is capable of doing horrible things to us, she called the police to the house for no reason knowing it sends the kids off into a frenzy. SHe enjoyed that and I saw how sick she can be.
I know a lot about her recent activities and could help her soon to be ex quite a bit. If I shared some of her activities while she was here, it would disrupt a few lives like an officer friend she has. I had no idea the concerns her kids therapists had about her until this. She wouldn't be able to get a job as an officer if I did what they think is necessary. I don't want trouble but I will push back if she tries to hurt us. She would be hurt in the long run far more seriously than we would.
maybe you should for the procation of the pubic what if she goes off on then? but I suppert any dision you make about her you know her and what is going on better then any of us.
im sorry to hear this all came about from you trying to help her out of a jam. in some ways it sounds like a teenager rebelling from the only stable home shes known, or that shes being self-destructive. at first it seemed that she was doing so well. i guess its easier to blame others for your children's issues instead of taking responsibility.
hope you are getting some much need rest and relaxation, would love an update on you, your DH, and all your (not so)lil lovelies. <3
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