Kiera is showing us more and more of her true self. This week she has begun attacking my face with her fists when she doesn't get what she wants. My first response was to hold in my laugh b/c it doesn't hurt but she is really angry. So far I am the only one she has attacked and she has done it about 30 times. Her fits are lasting for hours, I set her down when she hits me and then try to pick her up when she stops hitting my legs. She then begins hitting my face again and we go round and round for hours. I walk away and continue doing things while she screams on the top of her lungs. Sometimes she does the push/pull thing on my clothes, she is not happy in my lap or on the floor. She is so confused. I am holding her nearly constantly in a Hip Hammock and she loves it for the most part. She seems to like playing with the kids but she goes crazy when I have to give her medicine or breathing treatments. My DH has begun to take out the guitar and play for her while she has her mask on. She LOVES the guitar! She has also figured out how to make herself throw up her medicine, she aims it at me. She is a tough one.
Ruthie threw a lovely fit for Rosa this morning and I had to come down and physically remove her from her. At least she is considering Rosa as family. LOL
Michael had a beating the window crazy fit last night. He didn't want to help us get Kiera to sit for her breathing treatment and just went off.
The kids had a visit from their favorite Aunt M and Uncle F yesterday. They brought his 2 teenage children and the kids were thrilled. They haven't seen his daughter in many years so it was a special treat. Cyr actually cried when they left. I had to take a double take to be sure it was tears since she doesn't cry. We talked afterward and she was genuine about her feelings. I was so proud of her.
Patches is sleeping all the time. I am thinking she is going to have to lower her dose of Geodon. I miss her.
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5 comments:
Yay for Cyr being genuine- Take and build on those moments where you can, as I know you do.
I hope you *do* get your Patches back soon.
Sorry to hear about Michael and Ruthie, all I can (ever!) say is hang in there, and you're awesome for doing what you do.
And Kiera- It's good that you were able to pinpoint her attachment issues right away and can see them for what they are.
We have four children and none of them has ever hit us, nor have we ever hit them. Not once.
I read about children hitting parents and parents boasting about how they "control" their children with "Biblical discipline" and I wonder if the human race has evolved very far at all.
When we got my son (9 mos), he had two emotions - blank and raging. By the time he was 2, I turned to my husband and said, "It is just NEVER enough is it?" - I carried him around 24/7 and still he screamed; I put him in his walker (he didn't walk on his own until 2 1/2 because of developmental delays and central hypotonia) and he'd bounce up and down in absolute FURY. I fed him, he screamed "MORE" (his first word - just a proud moment -not), I gave him toys, he whipped them and wanted different ones. He learned to manipulate by smiling, saying "I love you - can I have...." in the same breath, being passive aggressive, copying everything his younger sister did naturally. He's now 14 and while still very small for his age (thank God), he still rages like a 2 yr old when told NO about anything. All I can say is "get that kid to an attachment therapist!!!" I knew nothing about it when he was little, and I don't believe he's attached to us at all. I stupidly thought if I met his needs immediately and loved him to death, he would reciprocate by bonding to me - I was so wrong. The bond I felt for him is being eroded away by his beastly behavior and I'm about ready to throw in the towel.
You know so much about attachment with your other kids, you are the perfect Mom for this sweet baby.
Hannah was somewhat similar when she came home - not rages but she couldn't tolerate skin contact or being held and would have serious meltdowns. She could keep the screaming, kicking, scratcing etc up for a good couple of hours. It sounds as if Kiera wants to be held but is totally overwhelmed/over stimulated when it happens. Wearing all in one pyjamas (the kind that cover the feet and everything) worked really well for us since skin-on-skin contact was a major trigger. Have your tried holding her swaddled? It didn't work for us (H hated being restricted) but I know it helps some. Good luck.
That has to be hard work. I hope that she comes around and her behavior gets better.
Your post made me research attachment disorders. I've come across it at the nursery. Some of the tips in the articles I found were things that I had already tried. I think you kind of have a natural sense of what the child needs to some extent, but some of the tips were new and I will give them a try as well.
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