Thursday, March 19, 2009

Should She Stay or Should She Go Now?

We are backed into a corner with Patches again. Big shock, huh? She is doing so much better but she still turns on a dime and attacks when she is mad. She is worried she will harm the kids but wants to try to put some more intense restrictions on herself and try increasing her meds before taking the AT's suggestion of a 90 day placement in a hospital. Before I get more hate mail, the AT is suggesting this b/c she isn't sure what is left to try and Patches just shuts down in therapy. Yesterday, she turned on the baby b/c she was mad at me. She didn't hurt her but she tried to throw a bluetooth at her and missed. When I reacted to protect the baby, she took off her shoe and tried to hit her with it. It didn't go near the baby b/c I grabbed it so she removed the other shoe to try that one. I jumped on her with my entire body and stopped her. She adores the baby and said she is not jealous of her. She knows I love her and freely states it. I think we need a plan in place but with intense supervision and increasing her meds she can be here. It is so hard on the other kids when Patches isn't here. We have an appointment Saturday to figure things out. Until then she is under line of sight supervision and has a camera in her room. She agrees to this so that should help.

Ella made some new statements today in therapy. It included her twin. Ava has denied any form of abuse....until today. Almost 3 yours into her placement here and she confesses she was sexually abused. I didn't ask any questions too deep but did ask some to figure out if she was repeating something she heard or if it was a real memory. She admitted she has been scared to tell me and wanted to tell the lady in her interview last year. She still thought she would be in trouble. I told her we didn't have to talk about it tonight and she could talk to me any time. I also told her that keeping a secret that big was probably making her really sad inside and now that she has been honest she might see a change in her behavior for the better.

I wanted to thank an anonymous commenter for reminding me about how open I can get. I usually write it out and double check to remove names if it is too personal. I completely forgot. Thank you for keeping me on my toes.

I see I received an award last week and I am going to make time to get right on it after I do the 5 million things pending on my To Do List. I was so honored to read that she reads my blog so regularly and I am sure if I wasn't so beat lately that I would get to posting more often again.


Lorraine said...

I have no advice for you, but hugs and prayers for wisdom.

Dia por Dia said...

What a week you have had and it's only Thursday! I am glad the baby is doing better and Patches is trying to work with the limits you are set to keep everyone safe. I am a relatively new reader and I don't know alot of your story but based on what I have read so far I wanted to say that I so appreciate reading your blog. You are so genuine and do things with such tremendous perspective that it sets a great example for me in my harried moments. Thank you.

I also wanted to say I awarded you the Lemonade Award.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like Patches needs to be inpatient. She didn't hurt the baby but it wasn't for lack of trying. Even with line-of-sight and the camera, you can't be there that intensely all the time. If the shoe had not missed, if the Bluetooth had not missed, there would be a very different outcome here. The only reason the outcome isn't different is because her aim wasn't good enough. :-( That's not enough, imo, to keep her outpatient. The intent is there and she acted on it.

Safe ((hugs))..I know this must be very very difficult and you are doing the best you can.


Alyssa's Mom said...

You are an awesome Mom and will do what is best for your family.

Prayers are with you.

Abby said...

Obviously, you probably know best in this situation, but I'm inclined to agree with Kristin's comment. I just get worried that she'll lose control and actually be able to hurt Kiera or you or the others or herself. Such a sad situation.

Good luck and keep being the best mom those kids could imagine!