Monday, March 23, 2009

I was right. Michael admitted he added the carpet cleaning solution to the dishwasher b/c he didn't want to do that chore. He was mad at Rosa for giving it to him and mad at me for not being here along with some other irrational things. I caught him wiping off some peanut butter on a butter knife and putting it back in the clean ones. I have hollered and hollered about nasty dishes with food left on it could make us sick. I had no idea it would help him come up with a plan to hurt us. He told me that he wanted to hurt us. He did, too. Many of the kids have had diarrhea. He crossed a line that put several more things in place to keep us safe.

Patches sat on the computer for 2 hours today. I asked her to get off and let someone else play and she refused to move for some time. How dare I do such a thing, right? I gave her the choice of moving or lose her computer privilege tomorrow and she threw the chair. No one was hurt and I tried to talk to her about taking a few minutes to calm down. She screamed at me and ran out of the room only to bash her head into the wallpapered stairwell. She hit it at least 5 times until her entire head left a hole. To fix it the upstairs hall, stairwell, and entryway will have to be skimmed, Kilzed, and painted. This is no simple job. Our landlord is going to be VERY mad that we have to cover the wallpaper his wife loves so much. She threatened to call the cops on me and eventually went to her room to pull out chunks of her hair. She came down to dinner 15 minutes later like nothing is wrong. Mental illness, want one?

Rosa is sick of being flashed by my kids. She has confronted them and feels assaulted by this behavior. I mean really, who wants a bunch of sexually reactive kids in a bathroom with them when they threaten to make up lies about their mom already? She is completely freaked out. They have such horrible boundaries that they show all their stuff to anyone. After almost 3 years you would think we have a grip on this. All I can say is if you ever meet them don't go near a bathroom with them, save yourself.

Cyr asked me to teach her how to restrain Patches and Michael if they attack her. I almost fell over laughing. Why would I teach her (a sexual predator) to restrain younger children? I kindly explained privately why I don't think that would be a good idea. Her response was, "I don't do that anymore". Not this week but I will not trust her for a VERY long time.

Ella took me aside to "talk privately". I dreaded the conversation b/c she likes to tell me disgusting details about her activities that I could live a lifetime never knowing. She tells me that Michael was told by a friend that his parents took him outside and stripped him naked and beat him. I asked Michael about it and he put his head down, he had lied and was telling a story abut when he was beaten.


Nicki said...

I think its a good thing you're not going to teach Cyr how to restrain other kids! But if she's interested maybe you could teach her some of the defensive things. I don't know what type of restraint you use, but when I worked in a special ed school we learned a kind that focused on being hands-off whenever possible, and focused on blocking attacks. It taught you how to block kicks and punches from different angles, how to get away from someone who is choking you, how to get away from someone who is pulling your hair, etc. Maybe you could teach Cyr some of those things, while maintaining that she is not to touch the other children?

Lisa said...

They're always coming up with something new aren't they? Michael trying to poison everyone is very scary - something that might only give you diarrhea could land the baby in the hospital.

I loved how Cyr wanted to learn how to restrain the kids - she probably had good intentions (we can always hope), but kids just do not connect the dots very well. My son (almost 15) is talking about us letting him play "alone" with his 5 yo brother and is telling anyone who will listen how we never let him play with anyone - EVER, but especially his little brother whom he loves dearly and would never, ever hurt. Don't think so pal. I keep telling him that it is a parents' job to keep everyone in the home safe, not just him (since it's ALL about him ALL the time) but as long as 1 person in 100 will give him sympathy about anything, he's gonna keep trying.

How in the world do you deal with the scrutiny you're surely getting from people outside the family (school for instance) about your kids and their behaviors? Or are they really good at school? I've not handled it well in the past, but I'm trying. It's just that every time we have to change doctors (insurance issues, scheduling issues, the dr. telling us to get another opinion because he doesn't know what the heck to do next, you know, the usual) I feel so vulnerable and I KNOW that my son is going to play it up big time to someone new. Do you talk to the dr. or teacher privately before? Do you give much background info? I never know how someone is going to take the information I know about my son (no sexual abuse, just lots and lots of lying and claims of abuse for sympathies sake) or how much they really should know. If I tell too much, too soon, they think I'm some kind of monster who is just waiting to see my child fail and if I don't say anything or very little, everyone thinks I am abusing the kid - I can't win.

Anonymous said...

I hope that you will never "trust" her in regard to the subject of her "restraining" anyone...ever. This is not to say that she will use the information for her own personal agenda. Simply it is saying that it is a likely possiblity; and even in the far future will be a more likely possiblity than a person without her background and characteristics.

Tudu said...

Carrielynn, so much has happened in the last year and half since I wrote this. I have never taught her how to restrain but she does assist in holding Patches and Michael's legs when I can't manage on my own because they are kicking me in the back. She is no the same child she was. She has worked very hard to make herself trustworthy with other children. It is real. She is amazing. You will see as you read.