Lisa asked this in my last post. How we deal with the public has changed over the past almost 3 years. In the beginning, their behaviors were more obvious except at school. You could take a look at them for more than a few minutes and believe that something was "off". Now they are more appropriate socially and have very few outbursts in front of strangers. I still carry a letter from the AT stating they have emotional issues that cause them to have raging fits and scream that I am not their mother. I also carry a photo copy of their adoption papers. It has come in handy several times.
The schools we have worked with have usually not understood. They have tried but everything I tell them to watch for never happens or they play it off like it is normal behavior. Our elementary school now has mixed reactions. Ruthie's teacher is great and sees it all, Patches teacher is finally on board but had to get past her own issues of growing up in foster care, Michael's teacher is hard to read (last year she didn't get it but this year she seems to), Ava's teacher doesn't get it and thinks Ava is wonderful (she is appropriate and that's alot compared to last year), and the principal is polite but the office staff is extremely cold towards me even though the lady's son was one of the firefighters that witnessed Patches blow out last Fall. Our county rezoned the schools and we will be attending the brand new schools along with half their current school. It is a relief. I think I will keep my mouth shut about anything that isn't dangerous for other students. I will not warn them they are having a tough time at home. It only makes me look crazy when they are all smiles there. I think I work too hard to help others see what is happening when there is no way they can. My children are off the charts at home and angels there, any normal person would assume it must be me.
As for the professionals in our lives, it has changed over time. I am honest with the kids. There are very few things I say privately to the professionals b/c I find if I don't do it in front the of child they don't believe me. I make darn sure that I point out many wonderful qualities about the child in front of them and try to include them in the conversation. In the beginning, I always explained that I was going to share private things with the doctor and we needed to be honest so we can get the help we need. I assured them they weren't in any trouble for the things they have done or not done but we had to tell them everything. They had the ability to help themselves in the room and make their lives easier. Now they get in the office and add to it like remind me of things they think might be important. Sometimes it is things I didn't know they were experiencing, like the voices and hallucinations. They feel more in control and it's not so much my word against theirs. Sometimes it is too much or they can't share but more times than not they agree with what I say. It eliminated some of the triangulation we saw.
On a completely different note, Cyr texted me from the bus yesterday and I couldn't help getting her goat. She wanted to know what it means if you have tiny red bumps on your foot and they itch. I convinced her she had Leprosy. This meant she would have to be taken out of school to be home schooled and they would do some really cool patchwork with skin graphs from her booty. It took some fancy work on my part b/c she is hard to fool. I texted Rosa and my DH to explain and help. By the end of the day, she was convinced. I waited until this morning to tell her the truth. She was so surprised and vowed to get me back. She will try but will never succeed. It may sound mean or silly to do that to her. It is a family thing. We are always trying to "get' each other. Practical jokes and teasing (in a good way not mean or vicious) were hard for them to wrap their little heads around. I have to be careful about what I say to each child, like I could never tell Ruthie she had a crippling disease but Cyr was amused with it. I figure if they are going to work so hard to find new and interesting ways to torture me then I will at least have fun.
Patches had a rough night. No one was hurt but she did say she's not going to take her meds anymore. She accidently did though. HAHAHA The Mother wins again.