Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Stealing but Not Taking

I am so embarrassed to tell ya'll this but since I share the intimate details of our lives I am sure you will not be surprised. Ava is a thief. If you invite us over to your home, please hide all of the things you love or that have any value. Nail it down if you can't put it away. Make sure you never let on that it is something you like or or it's value for that will get her attention and guarantee it to go missing.

Every time my niece's come over and have things with them, I hide it in my room to protect it. Ava has no problem riffling through their bags, even ripping open wrapped presents to see what goodies they have that she might want. This is the 3rd time she has stolen money from them, I have lost count at how many times she has stolen from someone within our immediate family. She denies it, she cries and she begs us to believe her, and after many tears she will usually confess to taking it. She never keeps the money, she hides it from them or loses it. I am so embarrassed that I need to worry about her sticky fingers. I am so sad for my nieces. They adore my kids and are always shocked and try to explain it away for them. They want to trust them. They can't imagine that it was on purpose and give them the benefit of the doubt.

I am really angry at her right now. We charge double the amount for stealing. She graduates the program Friday and will spend the rest of her childhood doing chores to earn that money back. The only reason it will take so darn long is that she will move at a snail's pace to prove how mean we are and that we can't control her.

On a different note completely, I asked a neighbor that has lived on our road all her life if she knew of any deaths here. She was a wealth of information, just not any that fit our situation. We have had 4 suicides within a few houses of ours. One elderly man shot his nagging wife and tried to shoot himself when the gun jammed. No small children, though. She promised to ask her extended family b/c they all live on our street and have for over 80 years.


Kristina P. said...

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear about all that! 4 suicides is crazy!

Mongoose said...

You know, I think Ava is the most like me of all your kids. I should be her godmother. :)

Lyn said...

We had a similar problem, one of the boys would take anything he could get his hands on, so before we left any where, I would take them to the bathroom to go "potty" then while there, I would check pockets, coats and bags...it worked and I checked them both so he didn't feel singled out and targeted...I know this won't work for people coming to your house but it might for when you go other places!

Torina said...

Oh yes. Tara couldn't even have a backpack last year. And then she managed to steal and smuggle in FIVE plastic bags worth of our stuff from home. Not to mention all the stuff she stole from other kids. For us, it is just a fact. Anything not tied down is "hers" in her eyes.

Toby also likes to steal, too. But his is more specific to stuff he can actualy play with. That is much easier to deal with than the crazy stealing. If you find the cure, let me know.

Kathy said...

One of my twins is the same way. You have to pat her down, make her take her shoes off, search her bookbag, etc. every morning before she goes to school and every afternoon when she comes home. Somehow even with all that searching she still managed to "acquire" one of my credit cards and take it to school with her last school year.

But she never steals from stores. It always has to be from someone she knows.

I'm beginning to feel like I'm training for an airport security job.

I'm about ready to buy her a clear backpack and cut all the pockets out of her pants.

Dee Hollis said...

I stumbled across your blog last night - I have read the entire thing - in the wrong order. Thank you for sharing. I am going to be using some of your tricks with my little Radish (I hope you don't mind).

I have to admit that one of my daughters is a theif too. It's a behaviour that has only started since the adoption of her younger sister and I am hoping it stops soon. She has already been "banned" from one of our local shops - she was on a school trip when the incident happened. I was mortified. I feel your pain.

I hope it gets sorted soon for you!