Thursday, October 30, 2008

A Bit About Everyone

I am so busy lately that it is hard to find the time to blog. I have spent the day at the AT's office with Cyr, Ruthie, and Ava. We have missed a couple weeks and those 3 are the top of the list so they went.

Cyr screamed and cried about going. I found it hard to find words since she NEVER shows emotion or raises her voice. She was pissed. I have been letting her off the hook for family therapy and AT when others need it or it is not necessary for her to be there. She took this as she could stay home whenever she wanted. I told her to go ahead and sleep in b/c she would only have an hour of school before being checked out. She refused to go back to sleep and followed me downstairs with a glare. I ignored her for a bit and offered her a cup of coffee since she insisted on staying up. She almost growled at me and a few minutes later starting screaming about how mean I was. I stood there with my mouth open wondering if Ruthie had possessed her body. She ran off to her room.

I got the kids off to school and went to check on her. I knew she was alive b/c I could hear her the entire time howling from her bed. She got worse when I tried to talk to her about it claiming I was to blame for her not having friends. Not sure where that came from or even how it is possible but OK. The phone rang about 10 minutes into her screamfest and I told her I'd be right back. I went in there about 5 minutes later to find her sleeping.

She didn't get very far in therapy today. She shut right down. What a waste of time. She will now be going twice a week to therapy and our Saturdays are shot again.

Ruthie attacked both my DH and I last night. She went off the deep end for NO REASON. She went off on the kids yelling at them that I was mean and she was calling DFCS. She had no explanation for why she felt threatened or what I was mean about. I asked her to go back downstairs for a few b/c she was upsetting all the kids at bedtime. She refused and started kicking me. I called for my DH to help me get her off the bed and downstairs and he got kicked and hit. This is not something he is accustomed to and he flipped out. Poor guy, he wants to protect me and gets overly excited when they hurt me. He held her to the floor (not hard) and yelled until he was hoarse. "You will not hurt our family. You will not hit and kick Mom." The kids rarely hear him scream in anger and were even more upset. By this time, everyone is in the girls' room to be sure no one is hurt. Both of us had to grab an end and get her away from them. I held her while he comforted the rest. He is so not able to handle their violence and I feel like it is all I do sometimes. It took an hour for everything to calm down and for them to go to sleep.

Today Ruthie doesn't remember what she was upset about or what she did. She is her normal sweet self, always taking care of others and being thoughtful. It really is very weird when she loses it like that. She looks as if she is possessed by a demon.

Ava is still lying about the money she stole from Abbie. She refuses to tell us where it is and screamed at the AT today. That was huge b/c Ava doesn't get upset, she is always smiling. She pokes her eyes to make herself cry for people but she doesn't show anger. The AT suggested we try an extreme tactic on Ava for stealing. I must tell you that Ava steal ALL THE TIME. I know many of you understand this idea b/c you have a thief yourself. She takes the strangest things like pieces of games or puzzles, make up, pencils, calculators, shoe (just one though), and other people's homework are a few examples. This is not done to keep the items, she usually gets rid of them b/c it is done to be mean to the other person. We will be making her a T-Shirt that says "I Steal". It will be worn only when we go to family member's house or have family members over to help them keep their things safe. She is such a lovely and charming child it is hard to imagine her dark side. She can look you in the face while she is screaming and crying that she is innocent only to tell you she was lying 30 minutes later. If she hadn't done that to me so many times, I would believe her. I know her teachers do when she is caught with things.

Emma is doing well on her Prozac. No real change that she can tell but I haven't seen her cry at the thought of her Spelling test tomorrow. That is progress for her and it is only the 4th day.

Patches gets out of the Program on November 3rd.

Michael is doing very well in school. He is giving me a hard time about homework but I let him take the consequence of losing recess the next day to save our relationship. He did get very angry at Emma today b/c he let go of the swing and it hit her in the head. This was an accident and he apologized to her. That's what he was mad at, he apologized and she didn't tell him it was OK. She was unable to speak b/c she was sobbing and had a huge lump on her head. I had a difficult time explaining that he was in the wrong by expecting her to forgive him 3 seconds after he hurt her when she couldn't stop crying. Eventually, 3 lashes of a wet noodle made him smile so we could move on.

Ella has ODD. I am such a mean mom, I showed Rosa what that means for Ella. She will not do as she is asked, for any reason. I caught her in a good mood and told her to stomp her foot before she went out to play. She stood in the kitchen for about 10 minutes refusing to move. She only stomped then to prove Ava was right and I was wrong when we made a bet it would take her 30+ minutes. She loves to prove me wrong more than anything.

Rosa is moving in tomorrow. I am not ready. Her room is not ready. Not much I can do but keep trying.

2 comments:

Dee Hollis said...

Ok, I know you are not ready for Rosa to move in, but I sense you are looking forward to it, and I want to wish you well.

Hugest congratulations to Emma not crying over the spelling test, I am happy you are already seeing the results of the medication.

And whilst Cyr crying is not nice, I feel that her now showing her emotion is a big step in the right direction.

And onto Mr. Michael. I often explain to my eldest two (my youngest doesn't grasp apologies just yet) that 'sorry doesn't make it ok'. And whilst saying sorry is a big step in the right direction, it doesn't always fix things. This takes a little longer. I hope Emma's head is ok. Ouch.

I understand what you are saying about your DH. Mine rarely sees Elke go off, and when he does he automatically tries to protect me. On the other hand we both know that Elke needs to be held (regardless of the kicking and thrashing that she is giving out). He finds it really hard to stand by and let it happen. I have come to the conclusion with Elke that her ideal world, whilst she doesn't understand it at all, is to be in my arms 24/7.

My theif is Miss Middle child and I know it's only for attention. It's only happened since Elke came to us. The acting out is driving me nuts. I haven't figured out how to deal with it. I like the t-shirt idea though. That is dealing with it head on. May adopt that.

Sending you my thoughts, I hope things continue to improve for you.
Dee

Ashley said...

Tudu,

So glad things are improving for Emma.

A step for Cyr maybe?

Thanks for this snippet, and all your others.

Ashley