I am on night 6 of nightmares and wild dreams. Something has to give soon, it is making me VERY cranky even after coffee. Cyr wrote me a letter yesterday pointing it out along with all of my flaws she could think of a a few she made up just to hurt me. I am not sure where this came from but I had too much to deal with to have a conversation about it. She wrote one to my DH that was all his good points, she is playing us against each other just as we have decided to allow her to have a friend over next weekend. I guess it is too much for her to handle. Maybe I am being "mean".
Back to the dreams. They are so vivid that I am sobbing when I wake up and can't shake the feelings I am still in there. Last night wasn't so scary as it was sad. I am tearing up now thinking of it. I dreamt about my first love, his face and name were different but I know it was him. IRL he died suddenly in a car accident and for several years I had these types of dreams of being so desperately in love but couldn't be together dreams. They are awful, they bring back all those feelings of being lost, desperate, and devastated. They don't magically disappear when I wake up and I miss him terribly all over. What is up with all the old boyfriend dreams? The other night Rosa killed her soon to be Ex, a parent teacher conference turned into a death match and she tried to kill me fore my blog link (she chased me down with a huge chain that had an iron ball with spikes on the end screaming about my darn blog), my DH killed an iguana that tried to attack me, and I was being harassed by another large adoptive family that wanted to be friends but their kids were so "weird" and you all know that is bad if I won't put up with them. I just want to sleep!
We have Rosa's babies this weekend. Poor Gia had to sleep with me in the guest room. She said I snored. In my defense, she laid on my back or kicked me all night long. A few interesting moments so far are Eddie wakes up as early as Ava but has a MUCH louder step. Patches became a mother, she was playing house and Gia was the baby. Problem was, Gia got tired and wouldn't stop playing, she would cry when she put her down so she had t be rocked to sleep. I found her on DH's chest sprawled out, you know he was in Heaven. My son peed in the tub AFTER I filled it with water but before they got in the tub. You read that right, I caught him standing next to the tub peeing in it. Alyssa has yet to look me in the eye, Eddie either for that matter. Alyssa is a very sweet girl that enjoys getting her brother in a tizzy. She has a way of torturing him silently and then looking innocent and making him look even crazier. My kind of cute, LOL. We are putting up our Halloween stuff right after breakfast. Over all, a good time has been had by all.
Just so you know, I am keeping track of the donations on the left side of the screen.
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I still cannot get over how strong of a woman you are. All these years knowing you and I am see you keep being a strong woman with a huge heart. Dreaming about your first love seems normal. He was your first love and that tragic death is in everyone's mind to this day so not surprisingly yours.. his I am sure first love. All you do amazes me and you are in my thoughts.. I am finally back to reading so catching up (going backwards though!)
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