Thursday, October 11, 2007

I know I am going to forget some things but here it goes in no particular order......

I took the kids to a Safety Festival last week and since you can't see their faces I thought I would post it. From left to right A, B, Emma, B's friend A, D, E, P, and my son A. They had a blast getting to climb all over the vehicles, getting tons of stickers and misc. goodies, free ice cream, hot dogs, and sodas, and building wooded fire trucks.

We found out we are losing our agency SW and Attachment Therapist. Both are taking new jobs for different reasons.

We have a tentative adoption date, October 18th. I say tentative b/c the court has not received our latest background check and due to a new state law we had to redo it after we filed but before court. It has taken up to 5 months to get them back in the past and I will be shocked and amazed if they get it in a couple of weeks this time. On top of that Michael will probably have issues due to his criminal background even though he has DHR approval he has things in his past that would get him denied if it wasn't for The First Offender's Act. Unfortunately, GCIC (who maintains the records of all person's in GA) works under a different law which prohibits them from removing it from his record even though it can not be used against him. Confused? I am sure the Judge will be too w/o all the info and that could take time.

We have put a plan in place for my son. The next time he is a danger to himself or others he will be placed into a Residential Treatment Center until he is healthy enough to return home. We have explained this to him and that no matter where he stays he still lives here and is a part of our family. He has done VERY well for the last week or so and maintained control of himself while having his rages. I hope this is a turning point for him but I do not think he will be able to maintain forever. Fingers are crossed, though.

My friend with the tumor has had to terminate her pregnancy and move several hours away to her parents home. She is devastated by her boyfriend's inability to cope and his breakdown during all this.

My friend, Eve, had her baby boy and decided to parent him. On one level I am happy for her b/c I believe families should be preserved if at all possible. I worry how she will support both her children w/o a job or child support and she claims to not be feeling a bond with him. On the other, I am sad for myself and my children, we were really excited.

Emma's sisters are due to go back to their Gma's very soon as long as their Mother is not living there. Of course, she is and only claiming to be at her Gma's.

I have begun to be very strict and everything is black and white for my oldest even if it seems to be an accident. It is working! She really needed me to be exact and take all her control away. She rarely does anything really wrong so it was hard to nail her on anything and I found myself giving her the benefit of the doubt all the time. Now she gets a consequence even if it is more likely to have been an error and she is so much more respectful. I call her on everything and it is draining but the results are amazing.

Our new dog has very sharp teeth and has nipped the kids a few times when the kids are not being too smart. This has caused the kids to be covered in tiny scratches and a few large marks. The school has started to ask questions about them and even taken the girls aside to ask about marks on my son. He had a huge lark on his face from a rage he had and ended up with a rug burn under his eye and a deep scratch in his arm from the dog (we took him to the ER even though we were sure it was overkill). It concerns me they are having these conversations but I am covering my rear with our SW and AT. Everything is documented but this is also why we decided to put a plan in place for Michael.

We have been nominated by our agency to be The Adoptive Family of the Year. I am not sure what all this entails but I do know there will be prizes and a really fancy lunch with up to 1200 people. We are waiting for our invitation now they just called last week to tell us to be looking for it and that we had been selected. Sounds like fun.

Ruthie threw a fit the over the weekend in front of a neighbor kid and humiliated me. She started screaming like I was hurting her when I touched her hand. The poor kids was horrified and too scared to leave. I had to go down and explain things to his parents and I was so lucky that they were such good friends with our neighbor that has 15 kids. They understood as much as they could w/o actually parenting children with these issues. They have a daughter with special needs and did understand embarrassing fits.

I have decided to reveal my kids' new names and begin to refer to each of them by the new ones. We gave our children the choice of just adding our last name or adding a new first or middle to the mix. All were required to keep their original first and last name as middle names. Ex. Their original name was Jane Ann Doe they would be Mary Jane Doe Smith or Jane Mary Doe Smith. We didn't wan them to think or feel that who they were was changing or that they lost who they were when they were adopted as many other adoptees I know. Most of my kids had no idea they had a middle name before so it didn't seem very important to them to keep it. Five of them threw a fit about having to keep any part of their old name but we stood strong.

B- 11 is now B. Cyr (pronounced Sear) H. D. She asked for this name b/c it is my middle name and is my Gma's maiden name and she is being called by it not B

P- 9 is the only child that has retained her name, she only rearranged it b/c it is so unusual that people thought she was a pet or a boy (I will tell you after the adoption the name but it fits so well I am glad she chose to keep it) Marie P. H. D. She will continue to be called P.

D-8 also took my middle name it is just the one I shed at 18 when I changed my name legally to Cyr, she decided to take it in memory of my dear aunt that passed away since she has come to live with us. Ruthie D. H. D.

A-7 will be Michael A. H. D. after my husband. This was his request and it took us a bit to agree b/c it made me feel weird for his parents. He was so set on it our therapist suggested it would do more damage to him to refuse, kind of a rejection of him as our son.

The twins decided they needed 2 new names b/c they matched so well. LOL

C-5 will be Ella Mae C. H. D. Mae is for my Gma and Ella is from the Disney movie Ella Enchanted, she claims she is a princess now. We actually call her Smella for good reason.

A-5 will be Ava Ann A. H. D. Ann is a family name on my side (My Mother, sister, and niece) and is my DH's Mother

Emma is adding her original name back on her birth certificate as a second middle name but is still being called Emma Jane b/c she couldn't remember who Alyvia was when it was called. LOL All the other kids quickly picked up their new names over the summer and the school agreed to use it.


skirbo said...

You sure have your hands full right now, but your family is just beautiful. Hope things continue to improve and go well for you for a while.

When are you making the beach? Or are you at this point?


baggage said...

Beautiful names. Bug was adamant about replacing her entire name and so is Izzy. I let them decide with the help of a is always a tough tough decision. Hard to know what is the right thing to do and how they will feel when they are older, but I guess she could always change it again. Congrats on the upcoming adoption!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update and picture! It is good to hear that things are starting to settle down a little (if that's even possible)!

Mongoose said...

Well I'm glad you have a plan for Michael. Anything that might prevent him turning into Him makes me glad - even though it is hard having to go through it.

BTW the officer who was killed in my hometown is one of the two who arrested Him last year. Whenever I think of Chris that's all I see, him trying to control Him and then all H breaking loose. What a memory to have of both of them. I hope nobody has to remember Michael that way in twenty years.

Tudu said...

Mongoose, I am trying to help him the best I can and thanks to people like you offering support and new views, I think we can all help him through this.