Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Involuntary Admission

The last few days have been very difficult. Patches' interpretation of every conversation she has is very different than what the rest of us hear. She seems to focus on 1 word and twist it around to be the worst possible meaning. An example would be a couple nights ago I removed all her favorite items from her room because she was so destructive that I was worried she would ruin them all. I usually let the child destroy their own property, if they wish to and the consequence for it is the loss of their property. In Patches case, she barely has anything and the few things she has left can't be replaced or are way to costly for us to replace weekly. They are things like pictures of her birth family, her glasses, her bedding, her clothes and shoes (she regularly destroys them in a rage and has very few nice things left), and gifts she has received from her old beloved teacher and family. I explained to her very clearly that when she was done with this episode, they would all be returned to her. Nothing would be sold or given away but if she began to destroy other people's things, she would have to earn her items back. All she got out of the conversation was that I was taking all her stuff to sell it. Really?

We sat in the ER last night after she made threats to kill me, my DH, and herself. Not a biggie until she calmly told me that she thinks about it alot and thinks she may do it, if I make her mad. Great. She is mad ALL the time. Literally. She has moments of freedom from her anger but they are few and far between.

In a rage the other night, she screamed something about being abused by her mother's boyfriend. I tried to ask her what she meant but she was too angry. I mentioned it again in the ER, she unloaded. Both Rosa and I were shocked to the point of fighting back tears. Sadly, I'm a little jaded from all the horrible stories but even this one took my breath away. Their mother deserves to spend the rest of life behind bars, if what she told me had ANY truth to it. Of course, I believe her. It sounded true. It matched up to some of her sister's stories, in the past, about locations and situations. I had always assumed the other person had been another woman.

I have no idea if anything will come of this. I'm not sure how dependable Patches would be considered. I believe her. Everything she has ever told me about her past has been backed up, eventually, by the other kids. She has been the first to tell just about everything. Patches is known for her brutal honesty.

I'm not sure if Patches will be returning here after her short term stay at the hospital. The nurse led me to believe it is possible to get her moved straight into the long term program we are waiting on. She will be deeply missed until she is well enough to return to us. She will return to us.

The other kids are doing well. Time to enroll the kids into school. We still aren't clear if the new ones will be enrolled here or not. The G Gma thinks they should and the SW wasn't sure how to legally do that since they are on a "visit".

All the rooms are rearranged and kids are sleeping in them. The house is mostly unpacked. The house is usually a mess. They are all little piggys and require constant reminders to pick up their toys, clothes, and trash. It is still a bit overwhelming, at time. I do see the light though. They will all learn their part in the family and be fine. In time.


new rad mom said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. I too am going through the rage and violent side. We have had some nasty episodes and I was very close to making the hospital call the other night. My RAD can turn his rage off just as quick as he turned it on. He could be regulated before we made it to the hospital and I would look like a loon!

I hope you get the treatment needed and get some answers.

I agree about the bio mom. Literally I would beat my kids' bio mom down if I ever saw her in a dark alley. The abuse was horrific and my family pays for it daily as does yours.

I will keep you guys in my prayers!

Catherine Anne said...

What a beautiful family you have here

Kate said...

Please let your children know how amazing I believe they are. There are days when I think about what I have been through and think that I might lose my mind with how it hurts , and then I think about your family. You all have truly helped me so much. Thank you for sharing their stories. I am really praying they get the help and healing they need. They so deserve it.

Integrity Singer said...

do you think she'll end up at inner harbor?

Tudu said...

No, she's going to Hillside and Ruthie is going to Inner Harbour.