Saturday, September 27, 2008

Long Overdue

A lot has happened and most I won't be able to blog about but I will update some things.

I am still sick! I am so tired of being sick I want to scream, in fact, I have tried but since my voice is so soft, no one cared. I know I should take care of myself and all that but I have too much going on to slow down. It is getting better but it is taking forever.

Patches is having a really hard time. Now that we know and have asked her to tell us when she hears it, she is in full panic mode. We remain calm and comforting but she thinks people are trying to take her. I am not sure if I blogged about having to call the police a few weeks ago b/c some guy was in our woods watching the kids but she told the AT today, she doesn't think he was really there. She is admitting to more and more instances that she questions were real or not. She is having a very hard time determining what is real. So far the voice is a child's voice. It's not in her head, it sounds like they are next to her. She is also hearing people outside her window rustling around trying to get to her. When we show her no one is there she still can't believe it. She becomes extremely agitated.

After speaking to her birth family about other family members hearing or seeing things they fessed up they have several people that hear and see ghosts. Now, I am open to that idea but in this case I believe their family members were full blown loons and not sensitive. They spoke to themselves and were never able to keep a job, they also refused to seek medical attention claiming God was talking to them.

We had a great session today with the AT and we helped Patches feel a little more in control. I am to contact her P doctor Monday and insist he reconsider her meds. Risperdal should be helping with the voices but it isn't. We were instructed to take her to the ER if she heard anything negative or became upset enough that we can't calm her. She was so afraid the AT wouldn't believe her and her demeanor changed completely when it was discussed. The AT is very worried. She feels it is stress induced due tot the recent trial.

Ruthie has been sitting in a pile of dirty clothes in my laundry room for several hours. I am so glad she isn't attacking me that I decided to pretend she is outside having a great time.

Cyr has been very nurturing towards Patches and become protective. I told her last night about how great it is to see her smile and laugh. She tooted so loud last night right next to her Dad that he had to leave the area. She laughed until there were tears. Most parents would be disgusted, I am filled with joy.

We are all enjoying the break from Ava and miss her sometimes.

Ella took a nap with me today and made sure to turn over each time she had to cough so I could feel it on my face. She is so lucky she is cute.

The AT's had offered to pay for my stuff to teach Love and Logic, now they are back peddling a bit and want to wait. They are closing on a new building at the end of the month and things are really hectic for them. It sucks for me b/c money is extremely tight and I need to bring in income. I hate it when people snivel about being broke b/c aren't we all? Our issue is that my DH works really hard but only gets paid occasionally b/c he is self employed. I have worked really hard to find numerous facilities that want me to teach it, I just have to have the curriculum to get started.

I signed up for Wish Upon a Hero hoping someone would help but so far they suggested grants that I do not qualify for and some scam. How much do you think I could get for a beautiful blonde 9 yr old that only attacks her Mom and herself? I am thinking $730 is a bargain. Any takers? LOL We have already sold all my DH's extra tools and anything we can to survive the last few months but now I am thinking of putting him on a street corner somewhere to see if he can earn a bit of cash there. He has lost about 70# and is looking hot.


Christine said...

Wow! You have a lot on your plate with your kids. But I know without a doubt how rewarding it is for you. Blessings.

Maia said...

Good to hear how you all are doing! Wait ... where is Ava? I read back through your past few posts just to be sure, but ... where is she? Did you finally get some respite? Sorry to hear you're still sick but am glad you're getting better. Glad your ATs are paying attention to what is going on with Patches - poor kid. Good luck with the financial stuff - it sucks!

Marthavmuffin said...

I was wondering about you, sounds hectic and hard. I have been sick too and only have one, I just dont know how you do it. Times are really hard right now- I think most are feeling the pinch. I don't know if there is a light yet at the end of the tunnel either. Well at least your hubby has lost weight and you are noticing. At least that doesn't cost anything!

Tudu said...

Maia, Ava is still in the outpatient program. We only see her on the weekends and right as she is going to bed. It has been a b=nice break but I am not sure she is getting much out of it. SHe has charmed the crap out of them and they think she is the cat's meow.

Michelle said...

ROFLMBO! I'm going to be laughing all day about your husband. Make sure he has a good skirt on:) Oh yeah, and some high heeled shoes, lol.

Maybe the voices are a sign, that she is recovering...and that she wants to stay with you. Before, the were "monsters" real (meaning her birth parents). Now that they are no longer here, perhaps this is a "stage" of recovery and happening because she doesn't want to lose her family and security that you've worked so hard to give her.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Patches is having such a hard time. It sounds like she has some type of auditory hallucinations but there are many kinds and many levels of severity.
I have a brother-in-law who thinks Bruce Springsteen inserts personal messages for him in his lyrics. He hasn't shared what they are. He also hears voices telling him that my husband (his brother) and i are out to "get" him. He refuses to take medication and his personal life is rocky but he's a successful businessman. go figure.
I've had a weird thing for years now where I hear voices when I'm very tired and about to fall asleep. They're innocuous phrases like a radio program. Not at all threatening, but I was a little freaked out when it started.
A doctor told me not to worry about it. He said it happens to some people when their brains are moving from consciousness into sleep.
I wanted to let you know that not all cases of hearing voices are cause for concern.
What they are